In need of help like right now
NOTE: This will be a long post. If you don't want to read my story, skip to the bold.
So there's this girl. I'm in love and such, the usual. But it's gone so far I've become insane. Here's my story from beginning to now.
I was 13. It was the first day of high school. Guess what? there was this girl. Out of the crowd of kids outside, I noticed HER. I noticed EVERYTHING about her. This is not her actual name, but let's just call her Kay. You know, she turns out to be my official crush. We even up having all of the same classes and such. Everything goes nicely. But then... the day. September 28. I realized something. What was it? That I was in love.
I didn't know what to do. I was 14 (birthday is the 19th), like I was thinking this wasn't love just some crush again. I've never EVER been in love before. NEVER. I was so confused. I ended up telling her straight up a month later that I like her. She was confused, she thought it was a joke since... well, I was the quiet guy in class. I told her I wasn't lying about it. She was still kind of confused, and I guess she shrugged it off, because the rest of the year she was just fine with me.
I became her friend of course, and by the end of the year everyone made me known as the guy who liked Kay. Eventually, I grew some guts to actually ask her out. That was the biggest heart attack of my life, waiting for an answer. What did she say? She said... no unfortunately. And this was over text.
Summer came, and school was out. I still was in love, and I decided... hey, why not text her all summer. If she doesn't like me then... maybe just friends. So, in fact, we texted the entire summer. Over the summer I was a summer art program, I even made a clay heart for her and stitched a pillow with her name on it. I told her I made it, and she actually liked them since I took pictures of them. i also made a Facebook note expressing how I'm love. She read, and liked it as well. I felt like I was starting to win this love battle.
School started up again. This year we ended up not having any classes together. But we did have the same lunch period. After a few days, she started messaging me herself on Facebook. Eventually... she admitted that she is starting to like me. I screamed for my life. Never in my life has a girl liked me back, AND I won the harsh battle with love. In October, I met my current best friend. Let's name her Cay. (Not her actual name. And yes, it's a girl.). She convinced me to ask Kay out a second time.
So... During our lunch period I did it. I asked her out. (Cay even recorded the whole thing). She said yes! I was so excited. this was my very first girlfriend. My first love. First girl who likes me back. Our relationship started that day. 10/19/11. Happiest day of my life. So.. the relationship went nice. until.. March 12. She broke up with me. She told me she lost feeling. Eventually I learned she lied and she wasn't happy instead.
But you know what? In May she messages me. She says she's actually in love with me now. I was so confused and didn't believe it. Until... June 21. A day after her birthday. She called my phone, and then... she asked me out. I gladly said yes and our relationship started again. Everything went so great. Until December. it was Winter break. She broke up with me. She said so many horrible things. What were they? Well...
She told me my love was a joke to her. That we'll never be together again. She laughed at me the entire time she said those things. I'll never forget that in my entire life. Never. But the funny thing is... The next day she apologizes. I was thinking about committing suicide after she said that. I was so hurt. She then said she wanted a break... I said sure whatever. A week later? She tells me she wants to back together. My friends hated me because of this, but I said yes. We've been together ever since, and the relationship went just fine. Until...
October came. She started getting out of control. I realized things as well. Like she treated me like crap every time we've dated. But you know what? I still love her like always. We started arguing a lot, even in person. And we NEVER EVER argued in person until then. Then... this past December came. like March, it was a week before our anniversary. December 12. She broke up with me. She said she was tired of arguing. She was the problem though, I don't understand. I tried to get her not to but she had her mind made. So... break went by, school came back... it's January. This month. This is where I need my help.
She tells me she's definitely not over me when I asked her. I'm still in love with her of course. but last week, she made a new friend. Let's call this friend Jay. Jay has obviously liked her. He liked her when me and Kay dated. She decided to be friends with him ever since he messaged her once. It's been almost a week they've been friends. I don't like where it's been going. She's been texting Jay almost all day during school. We're seniors, he's just a junior even. The other day she left me during lunch (we're friends now) to go sit with him, because he told her he's coming down to talk to her. I was mad, explained to her I was. Asked her if she had any feelings, she said a straight up no. A couple days afterwards... I destroyed myself.
I sat with them during lunch. She told me he messaged her saying "I'm just sitting in the lobby... For no reason. OBVIOUSLY WAITING FOR HER. She tells me she's not going into the cafeteria or anything and will sit in the lobby. obviously to sit with him. So... I sat with them. She barely talked to me but spoke to him. Then... That day after her therapy... She flipped on me. She said she felt she just couldn't be my friend anymore. Like she's not sure if she can deal with me. I apparently did something that horrible. I don't know what I did! I was so hurt. I felt I was losing her for good. She's not telling em to this day what I did, or when I did it. She was literally fine that day. We even hugged when she left. After her therapy she went off on me.
Obviously she's still talking to Jay. Today I was talking about my dream to her, and she told me Jay asked could he take her to our Senior prom. I got a heart attack. She told me she said she's doesn't know. I hope she tells him no. I'm not going to prom this year, she's the only girl I want to go with. I can't stand seeing her with someone else, why would I stand sitting at home while she's having fun at prom with him?
I need serious advice. I can't get over her, I constantly catch feelings. I don't know what to do.
