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Hi People, im so broken right now it feels horrible.
Im 30 and ive had a female friend for 3 years, we kissed a little and fooled around but most of all just looked out for each other.
I fell in love madly in love with her, today i found out she went on a date and just lost it.
i know she wants to just be friends. but she always used me as a boyfriend when she was single. can someone talk some sense into me please??
you're her back-up plan. she probably knows you have strong feelings for her and is taking advantage. back away from her and start dating other people yourself...it's the only way to break the cycle.
It hurts to get used. Give it a couple of weeks to really feel the pain and then make yourself get back out there and start living life again.
Just go 'cold turkey' on her. It's the only way to get over her.
ughm, have you had sex with her? it seems like you didn't. thus it clearly does not make you her boyfriend, but a friend. you need to face the reality and accept your friend dating other people. and watch 500 days of Summer.
Stop letting her use you. Go book some dates of your own!
I've been used so many times. It sucks. Just try to not let yourself get used in the future by detecting the signs before they spin out of control.
can someone explain to me just how exactly she used him?
does she have any friends that interest you? One of my best friends is this girl I love, and Maybe a month ago she started looking at one of my friends like she was down with him and I lost it... I yelled at both of them said how much I loved her and she should be with me, I pretty much made everything awkward and was really upset. Later on we started talking about what had happened and she was saying how she loves me and will never let me leave her life and then asked me what I really want from her. I am 25 so maybe my opinion is a little less mature but hear me out.. We talked for a couple of hours and I relise that at least right now pretty much the longest relationship I have had has been 3 years. Pretty much everytime I break up with a girl it gets sour and I never talk to my ex's after we break up. I blame strong feelings and jealousy for that... all the things that make me, me. She has had the same kind of history, she has had a few long relationships but still no longer then about 3 or 4 years and when they break up the guys never get over her and she actually still gets random txts from ex's saying they still love her after not seeing her for more then a year and shit. I know that they are not me and I know that I want her around me forever also. Pretty much after the discussion I relised I like where I am with her and it would be great if she dated one of my good friends because he is actually a good guy and it means I see them both a lot :) The point of all this is that now her and that my friend and her are dating and she hooks me up with her friends which I love because I love women and when a girl has only great things to say about you, her friends are super down with you making my sex life much nicer haha. I never slept with this girl that is the first thing you should know really because maybe if I had things would have been different but I am thankful to hang out with her and the fact that my good friends are super happy together only makes me feel more love :) So tell her you need a girl and it doesn't need to be her and you want help finding her... If you are sure this is the girl you love and that is it then you may have to move on as I have seen this kind of shit break guys down to pretty much chasing after a girl who is with another guy... never a good thing. I hope I help you on your journey of love by telling you a story of how it can be better to not actually be with this girl but have her around.
makes me wonder if the guys above is just as wordy in real life....
Way more wordy in real life... It is hard to shut me up sometimes but I will have a hole room laughing all day long. I think my problem is I feel too many feelings haha. And obviously I have a lot to say about this because this happened not too long ago :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
the OP was the one to mention her using him first:Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
she uses him as a booty call, that's not how a friend would treat another friend they cared about. i consider that type of behavior her using him to fill her void of loneliness when she's single.Quote:
Originally Posted by lovetrouble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
what booty call? there was only kissing.Quote:
Originally Posted by RdHrshyKss [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
wrong choice of word i guess...it's an emotional booty call. which is worse in my opinion, she's messing with his feelings. why would the OP say that she "uses him as a boyfriend" when she's single? if that's how he feels, then she's definitely doing more than being friends. if the OP is feeling this way, then she's overstepped her boundaries somewhere and made their relationship way more complicated. and if she's done this multiple times, then it tells me that she is the dominant one in this duo and she has her routine all planned out. she knows the OP has feelings for her, so she feeds off of it to feel better about herself. when she's with somebody, she doesn't need it so she abandons him sorta. when she's single (and feeling lonely) who's the best person to go to for a nice self-esteem boost and to feel wanted? the OP.
he's blinded by his "love" for her and she takes advantage. but even so, the OP needs to realize that she's doing this and move on. he needs to stop letting her manipulate their friendship like that. she doesn't sound like a good friend. i'd ditch her and find a guy to be friends with.