Dangerous manipulative relationship

This is the first time i have written about my life in a online thing.....
about 3 months ago i ended a 2 year relationship that was toxic. We met at highschool and then reunited about 10 years later and starrted dating. it was an intense relationship we were so in love but i was completly sucked in. he would go onto my facebook and i didnt know etc, and then would make me think that people deleted me but he deleted them...he would ring/text me 24/7 i could never go out wthout him getting jealous about who i was with etc and i would always end up getting upset. he bought out a side of me that would get so frrustrated, so frustrated about not being heard in arguements i would scream, and to be honest im not like that, but i got so confused about what his point was and just so generally confused id end up suffering from anxiety and fear.

i never cheated on him. i never even spoke to another male because i was so afraid he would be upset. an example was = i was at work, he came in but i did not see him, i kept working.

him - did you see me?
me - no!! sorry
him - well you smiled at me
me - oh weird ( i start getting anxious now because i feel like ive done something wrong)
him - why did you smile at me?
me - i dont remeber smiling at you
him - well you did, do you always smile at random guys then??
me - no?
him - oh well thats kind of weird tho, dont you think?

and this would go on and on and on and on and on you have no idea... i couldnt get out of it. i never knew what to say.

anyway we are over now. but now i feel like i am dealing with anxiety issues kind of, like worried about trusting any1 again. because that realtionship used to make me so nervous, i feel like i lived in fear.
i dont want to take this with me, but how do i get through this?!

It's going to take a lot of time to get over this. I was in an abusive marriage for years and it took years for me to recover/heal when it was finally over.

You could try counseling. You can also google "domestic violence" for sites that have lots of info and helpful advice. I use to know a lot of those places but don't know if I can post links to them or not (is that allowed?).

Hang in there-- it DOES get better.

may be living with a sick person has made u sick!u should try being friends with a guy,rather than falling in a relationship! i feel friends can make u feel better and take the fear out of u!!
talk to people!this is an exercise!and hope this would help u~!



good luck!

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Originally Posted by jil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

may be living with a sick person has made u sick!u should try being friends with a guy,rather than falling in a relationship!

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What are you- 12? She's not sick at all! She's trying to recover from an abusive relationship!

Kelly7777, like I said, get help where you can and you will get over this eventually and, hopefully, learn from this bad experience.

of course you are dealing with some anxiety, this is all you have known for some time. The best thing you can do is go out and do some dating. After a couple of dates you will realize that not all men are like that. You just need some new experience with normal men.

i didn't mean her to be sick at all,what i meant was its staying with her previous boyfriend has made her feel like this,, and she should hang around with some frnz to get over it!
that's all.

You must slowly get over this.
Find a guy who will respect you and you will start to forget him.

hey guys thanks for your comments.

i know im not sick.. but i know what you mean and ot be honest i feel like i have taken on some of his habits, or habits i have fallen into by being with him. i know this doesnr really help but i also decided to change cities and in the new city i have some friends but not that many, and my subconcious is almost acting in a way that i befriend people now and then feel like - very quickly that they are going to screw me over or something. boys i dont trust too well, and there has been some interest and im surprised - i dont think about my x, and i dont seem to miss him but i have taken with me some memories or bad experiences and its like i am defensive or something.... my x had a very dominant personality and i have now gone to the opposite to make sure i dont get that again :S

Smart girl to move to another city! I had to move to another state to get away from my abusive husband! Good on you for choosing a different type of guy, too! You'll be ok, just give yourself time to learn to trust again. :)

thanks benni :)