It happens to us all...and most of us more than once.

I'm very sorry to hear, Cerby. It's never easy watching the person you love walk away and not really knowing why.

It could just be that she's upset with her own direction and her own life at this time (I think you said she's done this before?) I feel like maybe you should just reach out to her in a few days and let her know that you're there to support her and that running away from a relationship isn't going to solve whatever issues she's going through.

I only say this because I've done it myself. Walked away from something completely amazing thinking that it was for the best and that it was what was making me miserable, when in fact, it was just myself. I will regret that for the rest of my life, I think, but I did learn from it and learned how to recognize when a problem is me or another person. I also think that if he had stuck around a bit longer, I might have realized it sooner than I did- when it was too late to mend what I had broken.

Considering she just up and left without any real reason behind it, I feel like this might be the case and I don't think you ought to throw in the towel just yet on her. It's really easy to give up on someone when you're hurt, but since you still don't really know the cause, try not to let it get to you so much and focus on trying to be supportive of her- at least for a little while. Obviously, you can't wait around forever, but given all the time you've spent with her, I think a little bit more couldn't hurt anything.

The fact that you barely fight is worrisome as well. Is she maybe the type that just holds everything inside? Never really complains? She's always the one helping other people? I don't know anything about your relationship, but I find the whole thing bizarre and I don't think it has as much to do with you as you might think it does.

Please keep us posted! I really hope that you two can work it all out- her crying and being so upset is a clear indication that she loves you more than anything, so I feel like it really IS her (lamest excuse in the book, I know!) Best of luck to you both, and my sincere advice is to not give up on her just yet x

Sorry to hear the news Cerby. I'm totally shocked, how devastated you must feel. I hope things will turn for the better, if not I hope you get the closure you deserve. peace friend x

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by cookies27 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm very sorry to hear, Cerby. It's never easy watching the person you love walk away and not really knowing why.

It could just be that she's upset with her own direction and her own life at this time (I think you said she's done this before?) I feel like maybe you should just reach out to her in a few days and let her know that you're there to support her and that running away from a relationship isn't going to solve whatever issues she's going through.

I only say this because I've done it myself. Walked away from something completely amazing thinking that it was for the best and that it was what was making me miserable, when in fact, it was just myself. I will regret that for the rest of my life, I think, but I did learn from it and learned how to recognize when a problem is me or another person. I also think that if he had stuck around a bit longer, I might have realized it sooner than I did- when it was too late to mend what I had broken.

Considering she just up and left without any real reason behind it, I feel like this might be the case and I don't think you ought to throw in the towel just yet on her. It's really easy to give up on someone when you're hurt, but since you still don't really know the cause, try not to let it get to you so much and focus on trying to be supportive of her- at least for a little while. Obviously, you can't wait around forever, but given all the time you've spent with her, I think a little bit more couldn't hurt anything.

The fact that you barely fight is worrisome as well. Is she maybe the type that just holds everything inside? Never really complains? She's always the one helping other people? I don't know anything about your relationship, but I find the whole thing bizarre and I don't think it has as much to do with you as you might think it does.

Please keep us posted! I really hope that you two can work it all out- her crying and being so upset is a clear indication that she loves you more than anything, so I feel like it really IS her (lamest excuse in the book, I know!) Best of luck to you both, and my sincere advice is to not give up on her just yet x

---

Thanks for the insightful post. She hasn't done this before. Your comment about her life may be spot on though. She is actually much better off now than ever before, she has a better job and more confidence, and is stronger than ever before. I can't discount that maybe she has just outgrown the relationship.

I'll do just as you say, I'll be patient for now and see where the chips fall. I hope it is just a phase for her, but hope is usually a mistake...I'll keep the updates coming as they unfold. For now I wait.

Could be she's just getting ahead of herself and is afraid, too. It's scary when all of the pieces finally come together and can be a really overwhelming feeling! It is, again, really obvious from what you've said that she does love you very much so I am hopeful that she'll just take a breather, realize how awesome you are and come back with an open heart and mind :)

Women are fickle creatures lol. I think you two will be ok- I'll keep you in my thoughts! Best x

I can only help but imagine how you feeling right now, your thoughts, fear, future, emotions, e.t.c. I hope and pray God gives you the Hope and Strength to move past this one. 3 years is a long time! Stay strong, i know its easier said than done. But i hope you find strength and courage to keep yourself busy so you wouldn't have to think a lot.

Well, the update came swift, she just called me. Haxan had it right, she did cheat on me. So now my sadness is a complete rage. I guess that is that. She had her ex pick me up FROM MY HOUSE...so it was pre-meditated. She was crying and said she made a mistake and that although we have things she wants us to work on, I didn't deserve this.

Cerby moves forward. Unbelievable.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

And a new day will dawn for those who stand long,
And the forests will echo with laughter.

---

No Stairway To Heaven!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

She realy dont deserve to be with you Cerby. Looks like ex was contacting her and sparklet up old feelings then just used her for sex and dumped, making her cry. At least thats my guess. Now she lost everything by her stupidity and if you wouldnt dump her eventualy it would be her to leave first.

After all life is fair everyone gets what they plovs so now she can blame herself.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cerby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, the update came swift, she just called me. Haxan had it right, she did cheat on me. So now my sadness is a complete rage. I guess that is that. She had her ex pick me up FROM MY HOUSE...so it was pre-meditated. She was crying and said she made a mistake and that although we have things she wants us to work on, I didn't deserve this.

Cerby moves forward. Unbelievable.

---

Aw, man. :/ I suspected this was the case, but I didn't want to assume the worst. This is almost exactly what happened to me a year ago. The difference is that you're older now than I was at the time, and you're handling this much, much more maturely than I did.

If there's one thing I regret, it was not cutting off communication. Looking back a year ago, I almost want to beat the shit out of myself for having continued to give this woman the time of day. Not being blinded by love now, I can really see what an awful, toxic cancer of a person she was.

You need to NOT communicate with her any more than is absolutely necessary. Doing so not only hurts you emotionally and adds to the time it takes to heal, but it also gives her power. Keep it for yourself.

As you know, this is going to suck. Take it one day at a time. Each month gets just a little bit easier. The thing that helped me the most was battling the inevitable depression and setting up little achievements for myself. Make a list of things you want to accomplish, short-term and long-term, and get those motherfu​ckers done.

Things I can do now that I couldn't do a year ago: walk outside (right now!) and run 13.1 miles in a pointless circle, play several advanced classical pieces on the piano, and a whole list of other things. The most important one is that I can say, for the first time in my life, that I'm actually very happy. And single.

I hope the same for you. There's a lot of work to do now. Get to it!

Cerby, I'm sorry to hear all this. I for one enjoy reading your posts which show compassion, wisdom and honesty. I hope you find peace in the days to come.

Cerby,

I think it's important that you keep in mind that this isn't your fault. It's easy to fall into the trap of wondering what you did that made her cheat on you - you didn't. This wasn't some mistake or character flaw of yours that made her cheat, it was a flaw of hers. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cerby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, the update came swift, she just called me. Haxan had it right, she did cheat on me. So now my sadness is a complete rage. I guess that is that. She had her ex pick me up FROM MY HOUSE...so it was pre-meditated. She was crying and said she made a mistake and that although we have things she wants us to work on, I didn't deserve this.

Cerby moves forward. Unbelievable.

---

I had a feeling that she did but I wasn't about to add to your devastation. God you must feel so gutted. She's a f uckin coward geez.......No worries karma will work it's magic and she will have to live with her mistake.

Fuking. Bitch.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh no :( I'm SO sorry to hear, Cerby!

At least she was decent enough to tell you. I hope that you can move on swiftly from this- she clearly doesn't deserve you at all. All the best to you x

Getting here late on this one, Cerby. Just want to say sorry for what's happened and wish you a speedy trail to indifference.