Is it possible to get in a friend zone that involves kissing?

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13-05-12, 10:27 AM
livingthedream

Is it possible to get in a friend zone that involves kissing?

So, as per my other posts, I have been working on a relationship with this girl for the past month or so.

Over the past few weeks, we have gone out together ie to bars and clubs etc. At the end of each night we end up making out passionately, be it in an alley way, in my car, or out the front of her house, which usually escalates to a lot of touching and moaning etc, but she always hesitant for us to actually spend the night together, ie have sex.

Last night, after speaking to her on the phone and she said she was gonna have a quiet night in, I texted her inviting her over to mine to watch a movie. Instantly I regretted this, as I should have called rather than texting, as texting is submissive and suggests a lack of confidence, and also there was obviously sexual intentions behind it, which I would have rathered kept to our personal interactions rather than text conversations. Needless to say, about half an hour later she replied, saying that she was already in her pajamas and ready for bed (seemed like she needed half an hour to think of an excuse to blow me off).

Anyway I fell like as a result of sending this text will now have created an awkward tension between us. Admittedly, I have made it clear before this that I have sexual intentions, (and I would have thought her returned passionate making out and touching/feeling etc would suggest the same thing) but those other times it has been in person. I feel like doing this via text only lessens my value in her eyes, and that i may have screwed things up a bit by doing this (but I'd be keen to get some other perspective on this)

Despite all this, it feels like she has me wrapped around her little finger. I mean, she doesnt seem like the manipulative type, but I think I've been playing 'the nice guy' too much, and as a result she doesn't see me as anything more than a good kisser (if I may say so myself)

I'm going to b seeing her at a friends gig later today, and I'm thinking I might just pull her aside and say 'look, this has been great, and this is really hard for me, but I think we should just be friends' or something along those lines. Obviously I don't want it to be like that, but it just doesn't seem like we are going to progress past kissing, and that she's just stringing me along (she has expressed several times that she really likes me, but I think the problem is that she doesn't know what she wants) .

I will also note a few other things. I want to make it clear that I'm not just interested in having sex with her...it's not like that at all. I actually want her to be my girlfriend, and i fell like having is the next step toward that.

Oh and in case anyones thinking that maybe she's religious and doesnt believe in sex befor marriage etc. She's atheist, and I know for a fact that she has had sex with one of my friends before I met her.
13-05-12, 04:18 PM
asdfg789

you are over thinking this. she is interested but you need to go at her pace.
you are both under 20 i suppose ?
13-05-12, 04:31 PM
searock

OP, asdfg789 is right. She is into you, but she isn't ready to have sex with you yet. You just need to wait, without pushing or else you'll just scare her away. If you can't handle that, by all means stop dating her and find someone more compatible.
13-05-12, 05:35 PM
Jason250

you are over thinking this. she is interested but you need to go at her pace.
you are both under 20 i suppose ? [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
14-05-12, 03:39 AM
clio28

It's probably more of a reason to not sleep with you. She wont want to come across as a girl that puts it around really easy. If she's that important, you'll wait.. And it'll probably be better for it...
14-05-12, 04:05 AM
IndiReloaded

Quote:

Originally Posted by livingthedream [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So, as per my other posts, I have been working on a relationship with this girl for the past month or so.

Over the past few weeks, we have gone out together ie to bars and clubs etc. At the end of each night we end up making out passionately, be it in an alley way, in my car, or out the front of her house, which usually escalates to a lot of touching and moaning etc, but she always hesitant for us to actually spend the night together, ie have sex.

If your original question is "are you in the friend zone", the answer is obviously 'no'. She sounds like she likes you a lot. For some women, a month is not a lot of time to know someone before having sex. I know its not the standard these days, but she sounds like one of those rare women *gasp* who actually want to get to know a man before jumping into bed w/him. If you like her enough, you'll just have to wait.

One thing you could do, tho, is tell her how much you want to be with her and ask her what is holding her back. Again, such honesty isn't for everyone, but sometimes the discussion can be the thing you need to move your relationship to the next level. And yes, texting about these things is not the best way to communicate. Its not submisssive, tho, just not conducive to really sorting out issues. I find your choice of words in this regard a red flag. Are you a player? Maybe she senses this about you, hence her hesitation.
14-05-12, 08:57 AM
Wakeup

Quote:

She's atheist, and I know for a fact that she has had sex with one of my friends before I met her.

Maybe she's waiting to see if you actually want to be with her in more than a sexual sense and that she hasn't just been passed onto you like a baton in the men's relay race?

There is nothing like the sweet pull of anticipation.. as you're finding out.
14-05-12, 08:59 AM
Jason250

Thanks for your post [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
04-08-12, 12:18 PM
smackie9

Ya not every girl sleeps with a guy after a few weeks of making out. Instead of asking us, just talk to her about it. Maybe she wants to wait till marriage or she wants to take her time, or she is a virgin and gets a little nervous or she is waiting for you to make this relationship official first, by asking her to be your GF. Some people are just like that. We can only guess, if you truly want answers ask her.
13-08-12, 10:58 AM
buzzer

I think not all atheist think it that way. Just clarify her and wait for the right time. You're too obsessed with that matter.