How do I get relieved ?

I played with a girl about 5 years . I never loved her but pretend to her. But she satisfied with so many things. After this period I really fall in love with someone else. I never told her about that . We had the minimum physical relationship..(Kiss).The same thing I did with my present gf. But my X is really crazy for me she tells that she lost everything . Now she knows about my current gf.. my current gf also left me...My x wants everything to be nice again but I dont want to pretend anymore. I really dont like her. But if I say so she wants to commit suicide. I am continuing contacting with her so that she does not commit suicide . But I cannot bear it anymore...I miss my real love..I dont want my x also to be unhappy...what do I do ?PLZ help....

Your ex is trying to manipulate you with the suicide threat. No wonder you don't like her. I think your "real love" is probably gone for good. You were with your ex on false pretenses anyway. You should just be single for a while, and try to figure out what a real, adult relationship is all about.