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The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
Haha this one liner kills me.
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Does anyone else wonder if Donald Trump styles his pubes the same way he styles his toupee?
Donald Cunt: "Make 'Murkin(s) Great Again!"
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Thanks to each who kept this thread going.
Q: What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
A: The purrpatrator.
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I saw this one on Reddit and thought it was hilarious.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo.
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[MENTION=84175]Magnitude[/MENTION] ~ I lol'd at your joke.
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A silly one.
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound!
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a friend shared this joke which was directed at another guy we know who always hooks up with girls with bfs, who makes that their thing lmao
I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
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-Girl, do you have a cat?
-Yes.
-Then wheres your pussy?
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Pussy jokes :)
Not sure why this amused me but it did.
9 out of 10 voices in my head are telling me that I am too fat. The last one is calmly preparing a bowl of chips.
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A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says.
“Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods…
“I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
“From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
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i thought this one was funny and clever.
My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:
“helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalter native”
Does anybody know what ‘ternative’ means?
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lol, on pretending she is asking for anal? Guys lol
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"Where there's a will-there's a relative!"
Ricky Gervais
Q: What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A: A receding hare line.
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I thought this was funny when I read it hehe
I've snagged so many catfish on dating sites, I'm now a licensed fisherman.
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Why was the toilet paper rolling down the mountain?
To get to the bottom.