A Letter of Love

ok.. so .. here goes.. thats right... I am in love, only... he doesnt know it.. so .. Im going to espress it here in the hopes I can get it all out and let it go.

@#$%#, ( insert name here)

We started out as good friends. I know I should have told you this long ago.. but, you always had a girlfriend. The last few months have really been a eye opener for me as a person. My heart has a new spot that has been filled with laughter and sharing. I can open up to you and when you told me that for the first time you were able to be honest, with nothing held back, I felt so close to you.
Laughter over some beers and a few games of pool later.. I realized that the feelings I had for you went well beyond just the bonds of friendship. Can a man and a woman be just friends? I remember all the nights we talked. The walks on the beach. Sounds sort of corny doesnt it? We have the same sense of humor. I know I can tell you anything without you judging me.
I wish I had the balls to tell you how I feel about you. We are together so often and in a way, or possiably, my dreamy vision, I see those same feelings in you.
And then... all good things must come to an end... That one night changed our relationship. I know that having sex once doesnt make anyone fall in love.. certainly not me, but I can't get you out of my mind. I kept telling myself that I can have that relationship with you and never feel like there needs to be strings attached and yet .. that's exactly how I feel. I feel like I am tied to you. We talk on and off all day on the phone and all I can think about was how gentle your touch was.. how sweet your kisses were.. the way the sun shined through your eyes and at that moment.. how connected I felt to you.
Since then, I feel a little bit of a let down. In a way I wish that night never happened .. and in the same breath I am so overwhelmed with waves of giggles and happiness. I want you to know.. but I know it wouldnt be fair of me. I can't just spring my feelings on you and say .. " here.. deal with it" . Its not fair. I just wish that I could have this talk with you and tell you everything. I'm just afraid, because I know this is just the sort of thing you wouldn't know how to deal with. Since I know you will never read this.. expressing how I feel just seems to make this seems less overwhelming. At least for today. I know when I hear the phone ring tomorrow.. these thoughts and feelings will rush back. Well then, here's to a good night of sleep .. and .. another restless day.
~ jane

aww sweetie, I can only imagine what youre going through. I wish I were there to give you a huge hug. And how you managed to get that out in one page is awesome. The letter I just wrote was like 5. And like you, can't give it to him.

2 years later ladies and we are still in the same circle lol, we'll make it through :)

OMG~I just said that to her in a pm...Innova, this REALLY SUCKS~

My point exactly :)

You know it.. same crap differnet day. I am so sick of this. The three of us need to find people who care about us and will give us what we lovingly deserve. I know Squirt and Innova deserve it.

Jane~YOU deserve AS much HAPPINESS as us. Someday, freaking someday.

90% of guys think they have it so easy too.. sleep with anyone and feelings? Come on... most men are dogs. They could careless. Just cause you gave it up to them doesnt mean your gunna love them for ever but .. jesus .. Why cant I do that? Maybe Im slightly jealous. I wish I could. Sex would be easier thats for sure. I just cant seperate feelings and intimacy like that.

Thank you Squirt. ;) You deserve the best sweety and if the "man of iron" cant give it to you.. move on.

To: _____________

I don’t know how to say it but I still love U. The last heartfelt thing I had said to U was for U to tell my Lilo and Stich doll I gave U, “I Loved U” because telling it “I Love U” will make him say “I Love U 2” back. I wish that night we had together had never ended. Remember the morning we watched the sun rise from my car, and July 4th when we watched the fire works from Fresno State and got caught by the police. I wanted U but U said U weren’t ready and that I was too young. Ur only 2 years older then me and I still don’t care. U didn’t want the doll anymore, U said U felt guilty. I told U to get rid of it b/c I didn’t want it back. I recently came to ur house and saw my doll still on ur your bed. I thought U would had already gotten rid of it. So, do U still have feelings for me, I would take U back any time and I’ve been waiting all these long days without U. Just tell me. Cya Cying.

-The one U missed and the one that misses U. Clovis, CA

After reading ur letter, i remembered mines. This letter never got to her but i mailed it to a magazine in hopes they print it. My relation ship with this girl wrapped up the day after we,,, i cant tell u the best part of my story yet, my thread is My very own Sassy Gurl. Like i said, i still love this gurl and it aint easy tryin to forget her.