Rejected & Hurtin

Hi Guys,

I am a 30 year old guy who has recently made a huge mistake.

Four months ago I started a new job, and little did I know that there was going to be a woman I would work with who would change everything for me. At first, I talked to her now and again, and I enjoyed her company. Then on one day, I had an arguement with my family, and when I went to work I made the mistake of being open, intimate and vulnerable with her. After this, I just could not stop thinking about her.

Later, there was a two week period where I spent alot of time with her, and I loved it, every passing moment was special, I cherished every moment I spent with her.

A month ago I left my job, and I have not seen her since. The situation is so brutal, because she has been completed ripped out of my life, I am never going to see her again. The most painful part is that I know she does not want to contact me, does not want to be my friend. I know that she has a partner who she has been with for two years, but still, it hurts, it really really hurts. It feels like someone has come up to me and plunged a sword into me, I feel such a gaping painful wound.

I am proud that I am respecting her wishes, and not doing evil things stalking and social media crap.

As I write this I am slumped over in pain, pure agony.

Stephen

I have been through something similar... Heck, same thing happened to me, met this beautiful woman in Feb, we hit it off, she liked my attention, was around me all the time, invited me to meet her friends at a bar, i mean she was all there. I could touch her and be physical with her but when the moment came to kiss her, she pulled away. That was it, she then gives me the speech about her not dating any coworkers. I respected her wishes and tried to move on.

Then a week later, she started initiating contact with me since I had stopped contacting her. And this entire thing went on and on till the end of April. What were her intentions ?

She basically just liked having a fan around, she was boosting her ego knowing the fact that I liked her. She just wanted attention from me. So what did I do ? I called her one night, and told her that I never wanted to force her to kiss me or hook up with her when in reality I just wanted to ask her out on a date and take things from there. She agreed to meet me for a coffee date but then she says that she would never do anything with a coworker. That was it, I had my answer. And when the day arrived, I told her that I don't think we should meet because I do not look at her as a friend and I have only known her for what 2 months now. I left the door open telling her that if she ever becomes interested in going on, she has my number and she could give me a call but our so called friendship ends here. 2 weeks and still going on strong. She hasn't contacted me and to be honest she never will.

So what do you pick up from here ? Firstly she is unavailable, don't go after woman who are unavailable. They would only make you another 'fan' of theirs and use you. She probably knew that you liked her but as soon as you tried to become serious with your actions, she backed off. I too, cherished every single moment with the lady I met, and I still do but honestly just think about it for a second, do they even care for either of us ? I mean the woman I like, she is pretty much living the life as usual, going out, meeting new people and in her World I don't even exist anymore. So what I am going to suggest might sound hard but its a fact and you really need to try to do this. End contact with her, or probably even let her know that you don't want to be friends with her because you don't see her as a friend. And if things don't work out between her boyfriend and her, she knows where to find you. That's it and move on.

Two things could happen from here. Months or years down the road, she might call you and then you have the upper hand, ask her out and if she doesn't feel the same way, just cut her loose. By then you would have already moved on and nothing will really matter. And the second scenario could be that she will never contact you again and the harsh truth is that she might never. But she would never forget you for standing up for yourself and would also have respect for you...

In life as my dad once told me, only go after the things that you want in life and if you can't get those things, pretend they didn't even exist in the first place. I mean quite literally you don't want to be someone's option do you ? You want to be someone's priority, someone who is willing to jump fences to be with you and not sit on the fences and think about whether to jump or not.

Yo, Mon !

You sure had a nice time with that girl. But that dont look like a problem after she is gone. I think real problem lays within fact that you are lonely. Since why else you be hurting after just two weeks of being close. So try to be social and around people.

Yeah, its better to cut it off and be in pain a little while than on a roller coaster of someone that uses you. Which is what I just did with my 2 month guy too. It just got worse the longer I held on with his rude behavior. It was def just an ego boost for him.