I'm stuck - dont know what o should do next

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13-12-15, 10:28 AM
b0ris

I'm stuck - dont know what o should do next

Well I have written on here about my current situation before.

Things have been going well since I last posted. I gave her space, was there for her when she needed me, didn't push Xmas on her after her not feeling it this yr.

Last night she asked when should we put up the Xmas tree. I was happy but at the same time I/we have been so busy doing other things (I am trying to make sure I look after myself & focus on myself after others have mentioned I should do this). This wkend we were busy - me working & us both going to her friends for a drink or 2, then on Sunday we both had driving lessons & my nephew was possibly having an early birthday party.

Suddenly after months of not really wanting me around she starts to question where I am going all the time. Yes thats right all of a sudden she starts thinking again that I'm having an affair, which I never would do despite being pushed away & in this very confusing relationship. She wasn't happy that we couldn't put up the Xmas tree, & she was upset that I hadn't asked her to come with me to my nephews (which I was going to do, but only found out last night & tbh every time I've asked her to go anywhere with me in the last 2 yrs she would get angry or make excuses).

So out of spite she has now cancelled our meet up with her friend, doesn't want to put up the tree at all, & says our relationship is dead. I told her that she is over reacting but its not getting thru. Its funny but I even thought she might try & do something like this, as it always happens when we have an event to look forward to, & now it feels like we're back at square one again, with her turning her back to me & ignoring me.

I'm just not sure if this is going to get better anymore. Why does she have to be like this?
13-12-15, 11:26 AM
lightstar

sorry I didn't see the other posts. Are you living together? how long are you together? How long has she been acting this way?
13-12-15, 01:29 PM
b0ris

We've been together about 6 yrs. Lived together for 4 yrs. She has always accused me of cheating, looking at other women etc despite every attempt of mine to prove her wrong. I have nor ever would cheat on her, but she never believes me. It got to a point where I eventually lost my mind due to my father having cancer & dieing & her accusations, & I lost my temper & shouted at her. Since then thus has been the way I have reacted. She also stops speaking to me after an argument. This would last a few days in the beginning, which then turned onto wks & on 2 occasions she stopped talking to me for a month. During this time she,would sit with her back to me on the sofa.
Her brother came to stay with us about 18 months ago & I suddenly became invisible. Then just before he left she told me that she needed space. I asked her if she,wanted to break up & did she not love me anymore . She said she didn't want to break up & still loved me but she wanted time on her own. She also told me that she didn't want to be touched or even kissed. I gave her what she wanted while also making sure I took care of myself & my needs, so I started seeing my friends more. Things were going fine. In fact they got better & I was able to at least touch her & we started joking again.
Then I noticed her questioning where I had been again all of a sudden (despite her wanting her space), & questioning of I had really been with the ppl I said I had been with.
So now it looks like we are back where we started again
13-12-15, 01:44 PM
basilandthyme

Quote:

Originally Posted by b0ris [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well I have written on here about my current situation before.

Things have been going well since I last posted. I gave her space, was there for her when she needed me, didn't push Xmas on her after her not feeling it this yr.

Last night she asked when should we put up the Xmas tree. I was happy but at the same time I/we have been so busy doing other things (I am trying to make sure I look after myself & focus on myself after others have mentioned I should do this). This wkend we were busy - me working & us both going to her friends for a drink or 2, then on Sunday we both had driving lessons & my nephew was possibly having an early birthday party.

Suddenly after months of not really wanting me around she starts to question where I am going all the time. Yes thats right all of a sudden she starts thinking again that I'm having an affair, which I never would do despite being pushed away & in this very confusing relationship. She wasn't happy that we couldn't put up the Xmas tree, & she was upset that I hadn't asked her to come with me to my nephews (which I was going to do, but only found out last night & tbh every time I've asked her to go anywhere with me in the last 2 yrs she would get angry or make excuses).

So out of spite she has now cancelled our meet up with her friend, doesn't want to put up the tree at all, & says our relationship is dead. I told her that she is over reacting but its not getting thru. Its funny but I even thought she might try & do something like this, as it always happens when we have an event to look forward to, & now it feels like we're back at square one again, with her turning her back to me & ignoring me.

I'm just not sure if this is going to get better anymore. Why does she have to be like this?

Here's the previous post [url]https://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/96449-save-relationship-late.html?highlight=[/url]

She's like this because she's dysfunctional. I think that her wanting to end the relationship is the only sane thing that either of you have done since you've been together.