Another cute girl at work

The more this happens the more I laugh. Another nice girl at work has started taking interest in me. She's been acting real flirty and always does something to touch me or get near me and comes up and just starts talking to me a bunch. You know, the more I think about it the dumber this all seems. I've been in a position before where I'm hurt and push girls away and some come after me, but this is just retarded. It's over, I don't want anyone again ever. Everytime I feel that someone is interested I feel that little spark of hope again, that same hope that I used to let swell into an impossible dream full of pain just ready to pop. Now I just squash it as soon as I feel it, killing all hope of any potential relation thereafter. I think it's pretty effective, I just hope eventually people will just realize that my time for that is over and they don't waste my time anymore.

Zekk, it sounds like you are hurt and afraid. What are you afraid of? That someone is gonna like you? That clearly shows lack of self confidence. I know you are trying to be "100% selfless," but one there isn't such a thing and two, that won't help you. Because every time you put all of yourself in someone, once they are gone, what do you have left - nothing. Just enjoy what life brings you - life is short, so it's in our best interest to make it fun. I don't remember who said this but I'll tell you cause it's funny...He said, "Life's a bitch, and then you die." I don't agree. A lot of times I feel like young and healthy people have no excuse for not having fun and not being happy. Once you get to be old - you'll realize what I'm talking about, but it'll be too late. And I also know that you'll read this and it might make you feel different for a while, but then you'll forget about it and cary on like before. Something major has to happen for you to have a real mind change. I'll also tell you that like you said - you get that spark of hope and then you crush it. Not for long my friend. You might cursh it now, but before you know it you'll find yourself letting another relationship in your life - what I'm saying is, if you run from it, it will catch up with you sooner or later. Why have it later? Learn how to deal with it now.

I know that eventually I'll give in to another relationship and that's what pisses me off. I'm so weak about it that I can't keep avoiding it. I really don't want to care about this crap anymore, I just want to live my life the way it goes, ALONE. It's just so rediculous how dumb my brain is and how much dumber my heart is.

i personally feel that when things seem to bother me, i just forget about it and let the problem pass by. it might not be the best method for everyone, but it works for me. it sure does help to live life not really letting things or the little thing bother you. raverboy