The one I actually want blew me off : / ..why?

Hi everyone.

I have been single for a year or so.
And for about 7 months or so I have been actively pursuing dates just to get out there and getting to know new people.
I have been on quite allot of dates and have not really met anybody who particularly stands out as someone I can commit to.
My problem is I am a hard core committer and I want to make people happy BUT I have learned that I have to find the right person to do so with.

So now this one girl came along over a dating app which I actually really really like! She quickly gave me her number and in about a weeks time I had a coffee date going with her.
On my way to the date she messaged me saying sorry she is going to have to cancel the date. Her stomach is acting up and hurts.
Her messages went in the line of.
Hey xxx, Sorry to do this but I`m afraid im going to have to cancel coffee today.

I asked if ok are you ok?

reply: I have a stomach so dont really feel up to it.

That was the end of the convo.
So usually when something like this happens they will generally ask for a rain check or reschedule the date but she didn`t OR I will just not bother again.
So I am not sure why this happened BUT I really like this girl so I am analyzing the situation probably a bit too much.

Now my end goal here is to at least get her on the first date. If things are not going anywhere from there then fine I wont bother.
BUT what is my best move here to do that?

Thanks
Tarc

Text her back & ask if she is feeling better & if she'd like to go out again this week, and offer an idea of a date you'd take her on.

If she doesn't reply or says busy ~ don't bother her again.

based on convo she is not interested in you at all. probably just an excuse to blow you off to be with someone she likes. best bet is to ask her to pick a day and see if she responds. probably will not.

Some times when a girl says something she really means it. There is always going to be the possibility that she said it just to blow you off but if it is something you are willing ready to pursue you should. And remember that she is just getting to know you so she may not be extra excited or pushed to go on a date right now, but if you ask her to pick another day for a date and she responds then continue pursuing her if not then she probably wasnt all that into the relationship in the first place.

If they don't offer to reschedule right away, they are blowing you off. Don't bother. She seems special?...I bet a lot of guys think she's special, so she has many choices. This is how internet dating goes.

The OP has never responded and is probably gone. But for the sake of the "Nebulous All" out there....

He said this...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tarc [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My problem is I am a hard core committer and I want to make people happy

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This was probably the stake to the heart of his future dating with this woman. A woman will smell this needy desperation and pleaser vibe on the guy like a porta-potty at a drunken carnival,...and will head for the hills. Guys, keep your clingyness to yourself, or better yet, stamp it out altogether. The woman doesn't want to see this kind of stuff till after the two have agreed to exclusivity,...and even after that too much of it and it will still destroy the relationship.

Then he said this...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tarc [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She quickly gave me her number and in about a weeks time I had a coffee date going with her

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I know Coffee Dates seem to be the latest "thing",...but Coffee Dates are "Friend Zone" activities, that is the destination that Coffee Dates will take you. The woman needs to think of you in a romantic sense,...not a "good buddy" sense. Make sure all your dates are evening dates with a romantic context to them. You can do the other "friendly" stuff after you are well established as boyfriend/girlfriend. But even then you still have to keep the romantic activities going to off-set, or counter, the "Friend Zone" activities. If she starts thinking of you as her "good buddy" then she is no longer going to think of you as "The Hotty" and you will end up in the Friend Zone. That will happen even faster if some other attractive guy who has better methods approaches her and she starts to contrast him to you. You always have competition, ...always,...for the rest of your life. Never forget that.

Maybe she partyed too hard the night before and is hungover. I would ask her out again via text. If she doesnt answer then shes not interested. If she continues to keep blowing you off shes not interested.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by breathe123 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Text her back & ask if she is feeling better & if she'd like to go out again this week, and offer an idea of a date you'd take her on.

If she doesn't reply or says busy ~ don't bother her again.

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Personally, I'd probably do this.
Is there a chance she will make an excuse or not respond? Yeah, probably.
When women are really interested, you're right, they do offer a reschedule.

Also, I feel like there's nothing wrong with coffee dates.
It's really a precursor to finding out who she is and it's inexpensive, easy to eject, etc.

It can be romantic. My favorite first dates are coffee or drinks.

In situations like this, it's best to have a take it or leave it attitude.

I'd love to hang out with you, but if not, that's cool too. Let me know if you change your mind.

I think one of the most masculine things you can do is wear your heart on your sleeve, when it isn't reciprocated, take note, don't get butthurt, but instead just be indifferent.

However, I wouldn't suggest going the route of trying to actively push hard for a commitment.
That's counterproductive really. Let it flow naturally. Focus on having fun, and just focus on the current date.