WTH is wrong with him? Need help please!

I have a guy friend who is married(and obviously miserable). It seems that he has a habit of seeking out female friendship online. He is very up front in the beginning with these women that he is just looking for friends and that he loves his wife. But then he tells them how easily he could fall in love with them and how beautiful they are. Most of these women end up falling for him, and he thinks it isn't his fault. I told him that it's just wrong, but he doesn't see it. He doesn't see it as a game he's playing. Is this some sort of ego boost? His excuse is that friendship is very important to him and he gets along better with women. I just don't get it. As a friend, how can I make him see that what he is doing is wrong?

He's weak. Why isn't he working on his marriage and trying to fix things or moving on out?

He shouldn't be saying things like that while being married. You're right, he is ****ed up. It is his fault.

Finding women online for friendships. Puh-lease. I wouldn't be into that. That wife should put him in his place asap.

He can't seem to admit to himself that his marriage died a long time ago. And I agree, he is weak. I told him that he's insecure, but he doesn't see it. I think he needs the attention to feel attractive. He's leaving a path of devistation behind him and it's awful. We've been friends for many years, but if he doesn't see the light soon, I'm out.

Yep- for sure ego boost. Mid life crisis.

I certainly could be wrong.... but I do not buy for a second that he is truly just looking for friends. Maybe he has no intention of cheating (then again, maybe he does), but he obviously enjoys the attention he gets from these other women falling for him. If he truly was only interested in them as friends then he wouldn't be telling them how beautiful they are and saying how easy it would be for him to fall for them.

To be honest, I don't necessarily think the women in the situation are 100% innocent either. Why would they fall for a married guy in the first place, especially considering he's told them he (supposedly) loves his wife and has no intention of leaving her? Don't get me wrong. I don't blame the women MUCH, because obviously it sounds like he is the one coming at them hard and causing them to fall for him.... but they are not 100% innocent. No matter how much I may want love (or, I guess these days more accurate to say how much I WANTED it in the past) I could never fall for a married woman. Even if she was practically throwing herself at me, I would want nothing to do with it. Why would I bother? Even if we got together, how could I trust she wouldn't just eventually do the same thing to me?

Anyway, as far as what can you do to make your friend realize what he is doing is very wrong? Honestly, and unfortunately, I think you've already done it. There really isn't any more you can do than what you already have. If he's not willing to stop you are unlikely to convince him otherwise. Honestly, if it bothers you enough (and it probably would bother me enough) ceasing to be his friend may be your best option. He may not be wronging you specifically... but that doesn't mean you don't have the right to not be okay with it.

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Originally Posted by shamrock2228 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

As a friend, how can I make him see that what he is doing is wrong?

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You can't. He's a grown man. He's going to see things exactly the way he wants to see things.

What you can do is to not be around someone who treats people like this. That's about all that's left to you. You've already told him how you think about what he's doing and he's flying the bird in your face, so.... you're out of options.

You aren’t the police

Either deal with it
Or leave if it bothers you and
If you can’t change his behaviour