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Yesterday i visited the places we used to go to when we first started dating. The congee place by your old house, your high school where we looked up at the nights sky and made Venus our May 15, etc. i wanted to come full circle, and give a proper closing to this chapter in my life. The beginning, and now the end.
We weren't that couple that got together. We were much younger, and we've changed a lot. We were only twenty, barely out of our teens. You've grown up a lot. We've grown up a lot in our own ways.
However, even though we grew apart, i still miss you as my friend. We were best friends once - the most important people in each other's lives. I miss that. I want to reach out to you, but i doubt that would do any good for either of us.
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You texted me how you thought you could do better than me and it was unfair for you to settle. And you offered that information to give me closure. That doesnt give me closure, dummy. That gives you closure.
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I still think of you every day and I fear that I always will.
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I think of you every day and creep on your Facebook more often than I even admit to myself. I wonder if that post was about me. I want you to miss me. I want you to know how much you want me, and dwell on the fact that you don't have me. I can't come to terms with the idea that you don't think of me the way I think of you. You were bad for me, but I've never felt such passion, and doubt I ever will.
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Two more days will be our 7 anniversary. I am heartbroken that we wont be celebrating it this year together .as a couple. . I fear you found someone else already and I fear you have moved on when I can't and have not. I thought getting a puppy would fill this black hole in my heart that only you can fulfill and complete. I fear you don't think of everyday as Much I think of you. Your silence and distance is destroying me inside. I don't want us to die. I fear you will never want me again, and I know that the connection and passion we had and shared together, I know I don't want to share with anyone else but you. This is the hardest week of my life. I try not to care but I do. I had to take a personal day the day of our anniversary because I am heartbroken and want to stay in bed all day.
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LOL. It was nice seeing you again - however brief.
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At first we were strangers. Then we became friends. Then we came more than friends. Then we became bestfriends. Then we went straight back to being strangers again.
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It hurts me how close you have gotten with this new guy. I miss my bestfriend. She is gone though.
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You just about broke me.. but was my own doing because I let you and it all get to me and should have went your way of thinking and moved on. I appreciate your sister because where you lack compassion and only see what is good for you not anyone you love... family or a partner she is opposite and opens her heart to all. She said I was too good for you after she talked to you last talk you never knew she recorded your talk and played it to me otherwise I would not have got some of the answers I needed to grab a bit of closure. Sadly my heart still has some love and pity for you but I don't think you'll do any better than your dad did your mom, you or your sister and you'll repeat his past. Happy July 4th !
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Not my ex, not really.. but,
Stop appearing in my mind bitch, gtfo! I'm so sick of you, always having that puppy face look, you're so annoying. Just get out of my mind already.
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I'm drinking myself to death because the only relationships I've had were ones in which I was pretty damn mistreated and to think that's how I'll have to spend the rest of my life: knowing all I could muster up in terms of relationships were god awful at worst and seriously disappointing at best. All right, off to drink tons this weekend to drink that pain away!
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Hey Jess, I wonder what you're doing. I've been looking for a job but it's tough out there. I had two interviews. The first one went terrribly, the second one was better but I'm still waiting. I hope to hear back from them today.
I've been working on myself - i think that is the toughest part.
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Our time apart showed me how much we need to develop individually.
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I got the job!
I miss you. I wanted you to be at my graduation. It was a surreal moment without you there. I really do miss you. I wish it didnt have to be this way.
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Yeah there is no any doubt about that I miss you and I want you back in my life.