Telling a girl in a bad relationship that you love her
Oh, where do I begin. This is a very complicated situation, but I would like to get some more opinions as I am still left without a clue. It is a long story so bear with me.
A little over two years ago [nov. 2012], (age 15/16) my friend's cousin moved into the state and into his house. He was (and still is) a good friend and so I had spent a lot time there. I became her first real friend and quickly developed which was, at the time, a small crush. For the first couple months she seemed sort of interested in me shown by minute behaviors, as well some others like asking me to give her a massage. I wouldn't consider either one of us the other's "type" but there has always been something about her, and I think she saw the same in me. Anyway, one day I made the mistake of bringing my best friend over there to hang out with my friend and his cousin. I would describe, and to this day as a 'player'- not the relationship type whatsoever, but very outgoing and friendly (and Spanish) which counterbalances his lack of intelligence. He knew before I even brought him over there that I did like her, and he was actually going to see if she felt the same. But for the next couple months she seemed to take an interest into him and the four of us were hanging out all the time. And around March of the next year she had asked him out. Now as for her character. She is very shy and passive- a people pleaser as well. She has always had a soft spot for me but yet I was overshadowed by my friend. I had always somewhat resented him for it but yet he continued to be my best friend. But I had let go of my simple crush. I had, on and off, periods where I would spend time with the two of them together. She eventually was told how I used to have this liking to her. She retained that "soft spot" for me. They seemed happy together. This was her first "real" boyfriend. After they started dating, I noticed he was always kind of aloof and suspected that he didn't really care about her that much. One example is this was when we were at a friends house and it was raining. She wanted to go home but her boyfriend didn't want to walk her home since it was raining. This is where I ended up making the half hour walk with her instead, and it was on that walk that in retrospect I see as the day I fell in love with her. (I also ended up walking her home on other occassions as well)
Much of that time is hazy to me, but I will proceed more up to date. Around the summer of 2014 [before our current senior year] is when I started to realize I was developing feelings for her again. This is also when I started noticing that she may have been experiencing the same thing, just by the way she acted around me. The first big signal was an occurence when we were both going to summer school. She had requested, due to her mom's working schedule, that she get dropped off in the morning to my house and we would go the school together later on, and the same in the afternoon we would go back to my house until she could be picked up. During one of these afternoons, we were watching Netflix and she took a sheet off of my bed and covered my window (I didn't have blinds). I shrugged this off as something simple, but it wasn't very bright in fact it was cloudy. Then we were talking, and out of the blue, she brought up a story of how another friend joked that if she were to cheat on her boyfriend with me it would be a downgrade, and then she looked at me and said that I wouldn't be a downgrade. I don't know what she expected to happen at that time, but I didn't want to try and risk anything due to her being a friend and being my friend's girlfriend. She continued to exert increasingly strantge behavior. Jumping a couple months later towards the end of the year I really started to have strong feelings for her and began to wait for them to break up. She begain sitting close to me whenever we would sit down and she had me carry her through a field on a couple occasions because she was in sandals (Florida fields are less than forgiving). She would call me and talk to me for hours at a time. During these calls we would have minutes of silence because neither of us had anything to say, as awkward as this was at the same I enjoyed that silence just knowing she was there. She really is the sweetest girl I know. It was also after this I realized how much of a terrible boyfriend she has. Whenever she would try to talk to him about something when the three of us were together he would always show a clear lack of interest. He has a leash on her where she asks permission to go the bathroom, or to walk to the store down the street. Whenever it is just him and I he always complains about her nagging and the like. He even claims he would cheat on his girlfriend because as a guy it's "gay not to do so". Whenever we are hanging out in larger groups at a friend's house, he would always neglect her. He always string her along to places she doesn't want to be and doesn't pay attention to her. We were all in the garage and I was about to walk inside, and she, sitting alone in a chair, asked me to sit next to her. I now jump to the past month. At the end of 2014 a good friend of ours was killed in a car crash and since this event and all through January she seemed to be more interested in me. On several occassions whenever I was too nervous to do something, like to do karaoke at the benefit for our recently-deceased friend or speak at the service for him she would try to get me to do it and ask if she wanted her to go with me. One night a few weeks ago I was texting her because I was upset about it and ended it with, "goodnight Joey, I love you". I had no idea what do make of this, she could mean it in a non romantic sense due to us knowing each other for so long. A couple days later at the end of the funeral service, she was giving goodbye hugs to all of our friends and when she gave me my hug, she said to me "I love you", which she said to no one else. At school I see her crying sometimes but she refuses to talk to me about it, but I do eventually find out it was a fight with her boyfriend. She always seems to forgive and forget though. She is, as I said, very passive, and he is very controlling. I have also found out from her friend that over the phone he swears at her and calls her names. But yet, she ALWAYS is talking about him. Whenever I am with her I may say to myself, clearly she likes me, but then she will go talking about her boyfriend. Everyone except her seems to know that it's not a good realationship. I have now told everyone that knows us my feelings for her and how I intend her to make her mine and I will lose friend of 6 years over it... everyone supports me on it. Since the beginning of this year, I am convinced that I am in love with her. And the past two weeks I have been unable to eat, sleep, or think. She is always on my mind. People have been saying that I should just tell her directly that I have feelings for her and asks her if she feels the same. I am uncertain wether this is the best things and if it is, how I should say it and when I should say it. I have been talking to her a lot more lately. When she texts me she uses my name 2 or 3 times in the same message. She calls me for simple things, like just to see if I'll be in school tomorrow, which I don't mind because I love hearing her voice. I will not be able to rest until I get her out of this relationship and have her as my own. I feel she has a feeling she knowns how she is treated, I know she doesn't like it, but yet she continues to go back to him, she continues to claims her relationship is good. He has been taking her out on dates with his drug money (did I mention he sells weed, in fact he keeps it at her house). As much as I feel she cares about me, it seems that her boyfriend is in complete control of her. So now I ask, how do I get her out of this? How do I convince her that the will be safe with me. Words can't express how I feel at this point, I just want the pain to stop... for me and her.
