A story you have probably heard 100 times before

Hello everyone. I dont wish to bore you all, but I have a story I would like to share, maybe recieve some good advice.

Recently, my girlfriend of almost two years visited me and told me that it was over. A bombshell that came from nowhere that was. She said that she fell out of love with me and it was happening over the last month. There were no signs at all. I spent most of my time with her and everything was the same as always: a beautiful loving relationship that touched our souls.

Even a few days beforehand, she spoke of how much she wanted any future kids of ours to look like me!.

I was never abusive, always complimented her, I was in love terms the perfect partner. However there were a few personal issues with me.

Over the last couple of months, Ive become insular, a very guarded person. Im a paranoid person, but its got worse recently as well. There has been no get up and go in me. I have neglected all my friends, and outwith work my partner was the only person I spent time with.

I think back now, I wonder if we were drunk in love and suffocated each other?

At the moment, we have spoken again, and decided that we should take a break for a month or two. Meet up again and see if things could be restarted. She is not promising anything though. Im so hurt perhaps I cant promise anything either when we do meet up again.

This summer has not been good for us. She recently had a few health problems and I was struggling to find work as well. But we supported each other as much as we could.

Obviously, I believe this girl is the one i want to settle down with, have fun with, and grow old with. I look at the positives of our magical relationship that we had, and perhaps a break would be the best way. I can sort out my problems, live a little again without her, and return a better, stronger person.

I would like to spend a day with her,and show her that I have changed, not for her but for ME. And maybe we could enjoy that day, and take things slowly, this time. As I know what I have to do to better things in the future.

What do you folks think?

Thanks for reading

Sorry to hear about your problem man. Bottom line is that I've read tons of these and experienced an extremely similar thing myself, and all the different situations discussed here have the same outcome it seems. It's probably not going to workout for you. I had a four year relationship end the same way and we talked about seeing about things in a month or two, and when that time came, what happened wasn't good. She feels like she's fallen out of love with you, and that month or two break will be what she uses to get over you, mark my words. Hopefully you're that 1/100 that will be able to get back together and make it work, but don't count on it, or it will hurt even worse when you talk and she says she doesn't want to get back together. And you will take it harder then than you are right now, and that will really suck. Try to move on, and whatever happens when you talk to her happens, and you can go from there.

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Originally Posted by gHEXjt

Sorry to hear about your problem man. Bottom line is that I've read tons of these and experienced an extremely similar thing myself, and all the different situations discussed here have the same outcome it seems. It's probably not going to workout for you. I had a four year relationship end the same way and we talked about seeing about things in a month or two, and when that time came, what happened wasn't good. She feels like she's fallen out of love with you, and that month or two break will be what she uses to get over you, mark my words. Hopefully you're that 1/100 that will be able to get back together and make it work, but don't count on it, or it will hurt even worse when you talk and she says she doesn't want to get back together. And you will take it harder then than you are right now, and that will really suck. Try to move on, and whatever happens when you talk to her happens, and you can go from there.

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I kind of know that. I see what went wrong. If there was a way to get back then it would be a LONG TIME until we got back to the closeness we once had. Its worth a try if that does happen.

I wont be contacting her until then. The worst thing to do would be keeping in touch while this is happening.

The thing that is getting to me more than all of this is that I have been with this girl and for the last month she has been like this, never told me. Slept with her, had fun with her. You name it. Not once did ANYONE see any warning signs.

She could easily have told me earlier. She also said that when she sees me she no longer has the butterflies in her tummy. But that always happens in longterm relationships!! The butterflies never stay!.

There's never any warning signs. I had the same story with my 4yr relationship. One minute she wants to get married, and the next she's gone. She asked for 6months break. Here it is 4mo later, and she's moving. She still is uncertain what she wants, and her move is only temporary, but in the end, it's over. Just pick youself up and try to be normal. I dont know how it is after 2yrs, but after 4yrs, I find it hard to even know where my life should go. Here's a brief song lyric, "I was the one you loved, who am I now?"

Hi eternalsummer

I'm sorry to hear about your ordeal. End it peacefully and gracefully. Stay on the friends basis, but don't expect anything more from here on and don't lead her to believe that you will ever be more than friends from here. I advise you to move on with your life (The hard part), maybe even look for someone else and what happens down the line, happens...

Good luck!!! :)

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Originally Posted by eternalsummer

She could easily have told me earlier. She also said that when she sees me she no longer has the butterflies in her tummy. But that always happens in longterm relationships!! The butterflies never stay!.

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They dont stay...but like me...she might be a chaser...I chase butterflies :). Also known by some people as infatuation junkies...I call it love personally.

Hey bud Im so sorry to hear that. For you reality right now sucks but all you can do for getting better soon is to recognize it for what it is.. cheating yourself with false hopes will just smash you twice instead of once. You want to help yourself mate you dont want to make things harder. Live from now on with the consciousness that it is definitely over but also with the sureness that your way out is just right there. Youll get over her bud just keep yourself busy and force yourself further.. hug man

Thanks for all the kind words.:)

We had a chat last night, and went over a couple of things. Ive screwed up big time. This year I have neglected all my friends and my life outwith her, making her the be all and end all of my life. I have no idea how that happened, because I dont like that when others do this.

You got to be with someone and have your own life and space at the same time.

So Im going to rectify that situation for me. IM going to learn to enjoy life properly and myself again. The way I was going, I would have held her back from doing things.

So we are still going to meet up again in two months. We shall see how it goes, and if there is anything there then we will start again but take things slow. If not then thats her problem not mines, because I will be a better person.

Sounds like things are gonna work out well for you, whether you get back with her or not. I did the same thing in terms of burning bridges with all my buddies because of the relationship. Which was a huge mistake. Then not really having contact with them for a couple years gives me no chance of any reconciliations. Now I just work on putting myself out there and working on new relationships. Good luck!

We shall see. Ive been a real ******* neglecting the rest of my life for one person. Right now I do feel ashamed. She does not miss me right now as the negative points of recent times are clouding the good memories.

I think there is every possibility of things working out in the end. It would be hard,but it aint brain surgery..

That's a story I've heard 100 times before.