Got something to say, but will sound bad

Got something to say, but will sound bad

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Ok basically my dating partner of a month, broke up with me last October, by text message.

Long story short - about a month or 2 ago I finally worked out the reason as to why she went all weird with me.

I think she ended it cos I was round her place one night and we didn't get intimate much (4th date). I ended up going home that night instead of having sex with her. This was purely because her friend was due home when we were in the living room, also I had work early in the morning. So I thought we'd just do it another night. After that she went weird/distant and ended up giving me the 'nice guy' speech.

Basically I told her after she ended (a week later) that I was taking things slowly. Even though she said I was "so nice", she also said it felt like we were meeting as friends, even though it wasn't because I wasn't her type.

This is what has made me so sure that not getting it on with her on that one night had put her off me. Not that I thought that for 1 minute on the night. She could have been thinking that I couldn't make the move. All we did was kiss and cuddle in front of a film.

I want to tell her this, but it will sound really bad 5 months on, as It'll look like I haven't moved on, plus there are 2 mutual friends involved and I'm pretty sure they'll find out. One is my good mate.

I never hear from her and there are no bad feelings. She can be moody/hot 'n' cold, but I so want to tell that logical explanation for not getting intimate. She said just to be friends in the end and we are on speaking terms, but I don't contact her as I want more than friends. Think she has been on a few dates with another guy...at the moment she thinks Ive moved on or was never really interested in the first place. Ive never begged or asked for another chance. So I feel like if I text her or tell her when I next see her in person, I'll be back to square one. But feel I can't move on until she I tell her.

What should I do??

P.S. After that night she said she wanted to meet again, however the next 2 dates she cancelled on, and when I did see her again (when she invited me around to watch tv), she wouldn't let me kiss her due this 'chest infection' - which I think was BS - why would she have invited me around? Weird!! Which led me to belive she mad up her mind after that 4th date.

I think you need to drop it and move on.

Are you kidding me? It has nothing to do with you not screwing in the first month. She's just not romantically into you, get over it.

I'd just move on mate, plenty more girls that will make you really happy and that will love being around you. I'd just treat this as a learning experience (even though technically I dont think you did anything wrong imo. Just a bad set of events).

I know you guys are right and appreciate all your feedback. Ive read into it all way too much I know, but Ive NEVER felt like this before for anyone, even my ex, and I can't even call her my ex cos we only dated for a month.

What got to me, was she gave me the impression that I WAS her type and it felt like we were matched - so much in common, same values etc...

But it was that one night that really got to me, since she gave me the nice guy speech, which some women take 'nice' for as 'weak', which lead me to believe that I couldn't make the move to get intimate, but like I said, I didn't due to a logical reason - friend was due home and I was working early in the moring. I thought what's the rush - it's something to look forward to. (she's 22 by the way). It just made me feel like crap. I wouldn't be bothered if I didn't feel for her so much. I also find it incredible how she lost her interest so quickly - In one night.

I won't be contacting her, but feel it's a great shame

They aren't trying to be mean or anything but they are just telling you to listen to the message she is sending. No matter what impression she gave you before, no matter what reasons she gives you now, it all leads to the same result: she doesn't want to continue dating you. I know the reasons changing are probably confusing you and she probably isn't being tactful or even entirely honest, but it's what she wants. What do you think you can do or say to change her mind?

I know some of us get that spark at first but if she doesn't feel this way, why continue pursuing it? Yeah, she may have made you feel this way and she may have been into it at first but she isn't anymore. It's only been a month, and some people actually lose the spark for somebody that quickly. Not to say that you should take it personal or you are a failure, or you are "too nice" even. I've lost the spark with ex girlfriends a couple months in and they were all wonderful, intelligent, interesting, and even very attractive people. I wish I was with my last one again but you get the point.

It takes two people to tango and she wants to sit down on the side with her arms crossed. Keep plugging away buddy, the more you pursue this seemingly dead end, the less attention you could be giving to everybody else out there. If she doesn't want to appreciate what you can potentially offer, then she wouldn't make a good girlfriend anyway.

She isn't interested in you. Learn from the experience and move on.