Should I leave this girl?

Me: 26
Her: 22

Had a relationship in the past. She left me and a few months later, she regretted it and came back.
We are together again for 3 months now.

Her Pros:
- Pretty much likes everything that I like. Sports, movies, traveling...
- She is fun.
- She is beautiful.
- She trully loves me (I believe so).

Her Cons:
- She is never wrong in any argument or fight.
- She has an explosive temper, specially during fights. She can never keep cool and it's difficult to solve our problems.
- She doesn't like sex nearly as much as I do. For me, ideal is 2 or 3 times a week... for her, it's 1 or less.

As far as talking to her about her cons, it's difficult because of the first one (she is never wrong).

What do you people think?

and what do u want to do? if u cant handle her or its doesnt match leave.
cause i dont think she will change just for u.

and sex is not a obligation if u r not married so thats no issue

Mod Edit - removed personal insults.

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Originally Posted by Fruitsss [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

we r not retarded u can put your topic in the normal way.

and what do u want to do? if u cant handle her or its doesnt match leave.
cause i dont think she will change just for u.

and sex is not a obligation if u r not married so thats no issue

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What the hell do you mean by normal way? Who said I thought you were retarded?
And sex is not a obligation if I'm not married? What are you? A religious fanatic?

Please...

Lol, fruits is so straight-forward. (:

I understand you're asking for advice, but we can't really help except for giving our opinions right? It matters most what you think, personally I wouldn't be able to deal with someone who always thinks she's right. It makes me very aggressive (only thing that does really, besides hurting friends/family). But maybe that's different for you, also means you can't really talk about your conflicts like you said and I think that's going to make you explode some time soon.

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Originally Posted by Alphyn [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Lol, fruits is so straight-forward. (:

I understand you're asking for advice, but we can't really help except for giving our opinions right? It matters most what you think, personally I wouldn't be able to deal with someone who always thinks she's right. It makes me very aggressive (only thing that does really, besides hurting friends/family). But maybe that's different for you, also means you can't really talk about your conflicts like you said and I think that's going to make you explode some time soon.

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That's right. What I want to see is opinions... maybe from someone that has been trough something similar.
Someone who has been able to change the other person's ways perhaps... I dunno.

I know in the end, what matters is what I think, but... this is a Love Advice Forum, no? =)

She needs to take an anger management class, which seems unlikely because she is never wrong. Can you arrange a group intervention? If not, it's probably better to just walk away. She needs to self-destruct her way through a few more relationships before she is ready to admit fault.

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Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She needs to take an anger management class, which seems unlikely because she is never wrong. Can you arrange a group intervention? If not, it's probably better to just walk away. She needs to self-destruct her way through a few more relationships before she is ready to admit fault.

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What do you mean by group intervention?
When she came back with me, she promised she would seek a psychologist, but she never did... I told her do it a month ago, she said she would, but again... never did it.

I'm think about giving her an "ultimatum" about this subjet, but it's really unconfortable to tell someone "go see a shrink!".

I often tought about some of those couple's counseling, but it seems a little extreme... specially since we are not married or anything.

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Originally Posted by Marcus2012 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

That's right. What I want to see is opinions... maybe from someone that has been trough something similar.
Someone who has been able to change the other person's ways perhaps... I dunno.

I know in the end, what matters is what I think, but... this is a Love Advice Forum, no? =)

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Urgh, sorry about that. Was the wrong thread, lols.

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Originally Posted by Marcus2012 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

When she came back with me, she promised she would seek a psychologist, but she never did... I told her do it a month ago, she said she would, but again... never did it.

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This right here starts to get to the core of your relationship problems. She knows she has a problem, and you know she has a problem. You have done what you can in asking her to get help, she promised she would TWICE and still hasn't.

Whether is be a lack or respect for you, a lack of motivation on her part, or just a self-destructive attitude, the reality is that she isn't relationship material until she gets herself together. An ultimatum always goes badly because it comes across as a threat.

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Originally Posted by Marcus2012 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What do you mean by group intervention?
When she came back with me, she promised she would seek a psychologist, but she never did... I told her do it a month ago, she said she would, but again... never did it.

I'm think about giving her an "ultimatum" about this subjet, but it's really unconfortable to tell someone "go see a shrink!".

I often tought about some of those couple's counseling, but it seems a little extreme... specially since we are not married or anything.

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If one person tells her to take an anger management class, she will decide that he is wrong and she is right. If several people tell her to take an anger management class, spread out over a period of months or years, she might start to get a hint, or she might decide each time that she is right and they are wrong. If a group of people that are close to her (like friends and family) all get together and tell her at the same time that she needs to take an anger management class, she might have an epic meltdown, but she will no longer be able to dismiss the idea. Even better is if they bring her everything that she needs to take that course of action, like a list of times and locations for local classes. Maybe they could even take up a collection and offer to pay for the class.

When I took an anger management class 8 years ago, it cost something like $185 for a weekly two-hour class that went for four months. That fee also covered the required reading materials. The class was taught by two alumni of the course, and it was great. It saved my career and my relationship, and improved my interactions with friends and family. I went into the first class thinking that it was a bunch of touchy-feely crap, and came out realizing that this was a chance to make a breakthrough towards becoming a better human being. The most fundamental lesson of the class was this: Bad things happen and you have every right to get angry about some of those things, but you are personally responsible for how you choose to act on that anger. The rest of the class was identifying the kinds of things that make you angry and how to avoid or cope with those things as they arise.

Oh man... the more I ask people, the more tell me I should leave her.
Deep down, that's not what I wan't to hear, you know. But I know it would be best.

But I just wanna try everything before this. I wan't to use all my cards because I really love her and I know she loves me.
That's why I talked about an ultimatum. Not in the form of a threat, but... just saying all the things I think are wrong and asking her to fix them, for me.
However, I'm afraid of doing this, since I know how discussions go with her and she already thinks I'm pushing her too much...

I was also thinking about giving her a cold shoulder for a while, and wait for her to come talk to me...

I don't think you should give her the cold shoulder, but if you do, you should take it a step further. Tell her that you don't want a relationship with her as she is, so you're not going to be exclusive with her again until she seriously starts getting help. Start banging other girls.

What you really should do is just tell her that you're breaking up with her, and you'll consider going back out with her once she's MADE PROGRESS with a therapist of some kind. That is not a threat, and not really an ultimatum. It's a decision to enforce your relationship boundaries.

You honestly just sound like a cold bitch to me though. She obviously sees it too. I see this continuing for months.

You've already been through the discussion of 'it's not working for me' twice. She's promised to seek help but done nothing about it. Do you really think that one more ultimatum would make any difference?

Mate, I think you've made it well and truly clear how you feel. Fact of the matter is that she doesn't care enough to do anything about it.

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Originally Posted by Marcus2012 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What the hell do you mean by normal way? Who said I thought you were retarded?
And sex is not a obligation if I'm not married? What are you? A religious fanatic?

Please...

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i see that u r the one that is not that smart. thats why u type like that. i feel sorry for u. poor figure.

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Originally Posted by Fruitsss [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i see that u r the one that is not that smart. thats why u type like that. i feel sorry for u. poor figure.

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And I see you're the bitch who doesn't even bother to know if english is my main language...

Hmm...she sounds a bit like me :-(
That was what my boyfriend liked least about me. Opinionated, argumentative, aggressive.
Then he had me realise how much he disliked it. He would say so calmly what he was feeling. He told me that I was difficult to talk to when I would get in those moods. But what really stuck with me is when he described it to me once and said 'when you get like that I think "here we go again, she's never happy, I can't do anything right". That's when I realised that when i was yelling it really didn't have anything to do with him and it made me so upset to think he felt like he was doing something wrong. Now when we disagree I try to be civil about it. I don't raise my voice. I have a few times, but not nearly as much as I used to, and he's really noticed that. I like that he's appreciated it. Maybe you could try something similar? She's likely angry about something else in her life, like I was, and maybe she just needs a gentle wake up call for her to realise that you feel hopeless in the situation?

You should not love her because she loves you. You should love her character and how she carries herself. Try asking her if she is angry at some issue and needs some space to think. Maybe she is unaware that there is some deep resentment in her and she is taking it out on you. This may require taking some classes, as suggested by VincenzoG91, but the change may take time. You need to consider whether you are able to go through this with her.

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Originally Posted by Fruitsss [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

...sex is not a obligation if u r not married so thats no issue

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WHAT? Not an issue in who's mind???? Yours? That is asinine! And LOL "obligation", you should WANT to do it, not feel you HAVE to. You must be a barrel-o-fun in bed.

Any girl I was with, we had sex at least once a day each day we are together.

I have been in this situation myself. My boyfriend was sick to death of my attitude, mood swings and aggressive attitude. What caused it for me was PMS. I said to him over and over yes I will change and I wanted to but I never found the motivation or had the push until one night we hit breaking point and he told me to pack my stuff and that's when I realized wow, i've been an utter bitch simply because of my hormones and I promised him there and then if he gave me one more chance, I'd change. I went to the doc the next day and got giving cerazette which is a contraceptive that is usually prescribed for PMS as it doesn't contain oestrogen so stops ovulation and its really has helped my mood sooo much which is shocking because usually pills, from my past experiences made me an utter cow. I also take Vitamin B6, Magnesium and calcium with vit D and those help mood swings too. The big argument was about a month or 2 ago and we're still not 100% better yet but we don't argue as much and when we do, its resolved 100 times quicker and if I say something bitchy without thinking, I instantly take it back and all is forgiven.

Maybe just trying the vitamins or going to the doctor to talk about antidepressants maybe or the contraceptive pill would help. If she tries this and it doesn't improve, at least she tried but if she makes no effort then that is a different story

I've always observed that, for decent people who love each other, problems are almost never entirely one-sided.

I agree with Vince. She needs to get herself sorted out. I've read our brains don't really settle into 'adulthood' until around 25, so there may still be opportunity for her to mature (she needs to). Personality and response patterns get much more ingrained once we hit our 30s. If you are going to act, do it now.

As for you, again I agree with Vince. Sounds to me you've been a bit too indulgent of how she makes you feel when you are hurt or upset. How are your communication skills? You sound a titch conflict-avoidant to me. That behaviour comes with its own set of problems. I suggest you become more assertive--not aggressive--there is a big difference. Google - there are plenty of books about this. It will help you with interactions with her or whomever you end up with next. Good luck.

Your pros for wanting to be back with her are great, but they are not equally weighted to her cons because as someone who has been with someone with all of those traits and more, you are headed down a road of self destruction with her. The end decision is yours, but as someone who has been there in the past...cut your losses hun. : (