"I just want you to know I don't like you."

The other night, I was at a party with a bunch of my friends. The boy that I have idolized for close to six years was there - we can call him Ryan. He said hello to me and we made brief small talk. After a few drinks, I was conversing with friend (Ben) who is also close friends with Ryan. Somehow it came up that he knew that I liked Ryan. As I started to deny it, another mutual friend of Ryan and me walked up and asked what we were talking about. He then paused and said wait, does it start with a R? I couldn't believe that they knew. To top it off, another friend walked in and I asked if this was some kind of running joke and they all knew about it. All three of them said it wasn't a big deal that they knew. For a girl though, it is hard to walk around a room full of people who know that you like a boy that is not seeking you out in any way. It made me feel insecure so I responded by being defensive. Ben told me that I really had two choices, I could have him if I wanted, I would just have to be the one to initiate it or I could act like I don't care and tell him that I don't like him. Naturally, I decided to protect myself and decided to tell him that even though he and all his friends think that I like him, there is no truth in that and I don't know who started it. Upon waking up the next morning, I felt terrible. Should I apologize? Should I tell him that it is true and explain why I reacted in such a way?

Honestly, if you trust Ben, then yes, apologize to Ryan. If Ben said that Ryan was interested too, then it's really not that big of a deal that everyone already knew. They probably gave Ryan more crap for it than you.

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Originally Posted by soccer09 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The other night, I was at a party with a bunch of my friends. The boy that I have idolized for close to six years was there - we can call him Ryan. He said hello to me and we made brief small talk. After a few drinks, I was conversing with friend (Ben) who is also close friends with Ryan. Somehow it came up that he knew that I liked Ryan. As I started to deny it, another mutual friend of Ryan and me walked up and asked what we were talking about. He then paused and said wait, does it start with a R? I couldn't believe that they knew. To top it off, another friend walked in and I asked if this was some kind of running joke and they all knew about it. All three of them said it wasn't a big deal that they knew. For a girl though, it is hard to walk around a room full of people who know that you like a boy that is not seeking you out in any way. It made me feel insecure so I responded by being defensive. Ben told me that I really had two choices, I could have him if I wanted, I would just have to be the one to initiate it or I could act like I don't care and tell him that I don't like him. Naturally, I decided to protect myself and decided to tell him that even though he and all his friends think that I like him, there is no truth in that and I don't know who started it. Upon waking up the next morning, I felt terrible. Should I apologize? Should I tell him that it is true and explain why I reacted in such a way?

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See bold above ... how in the world did that "protect you" from anything? Protect you from what? Protect you from rejection by rejecting yourself?

I would talk with him and tell him your flakey behavior was because you were embarrassed to find out that all your mutual friends were talking about the two of you behind your back. If he's not "in on the joke" he probably has no idea why you told him what you told him. If he is in on the joke, then you don't really want him for a boyfriend anyway.

Carl.

guys dont pick on signals, just tell him straight up

That was a dumb-ass, drama queen thing to do. And yes, EVERYONE knows you like Ryan. You tell one person and it's public knowledge. You were talking about it at a party, for God's sake, clearly it's not your most closely guarded secret. Then you had to make it worse by making that announcement to Ryan.

How do you think that felt to him? Embarrassing as hell? I'll bet it was. There he is, trying to enjoy his simple self like all the other jocks and here comes this emotional maelstrom trapped in a girl's body, talking all kinds of nonsense.

Jeeze Louise, Soccer. What were you thinking?

Yes you need to - as you like him.. not for others but for yourself.6 years is not a joke. if you like him you need to gather the guts to tell him how you feel. I personally is going to propose being a girl. so why cant you.. its very common now..once he says Yes well good for you but not then you have a clear idea as to what next.. atleast you can move on..

Wow, way to get sucked up into the idiocy of highschool.

You're probably better off not dating if that's the kind of emotional maturity you wield.

Oh noes! They knows I like a guy who hasn't made a move on me! The horror!

Wow, you just bitchslapped him in a pathetic attempt to save face. He's done nothing to you and you threw him under the bus socially.

Good going. I honestly hope he never talks to you again.

After doing what you did, don't be suprised if he never gives you the time of day again. Regardless of whether or not he was interested in you, you gave a blow to his man-ego......not so good for you.

In the future, just be honest. Rejection happens, and it's something nearly everyone experiences and SHOULD experience.

Pick up the phone.

Ask him to have a coffee at some nearby café, to talk, not to chit-chat (if you say that he'd might blow you off)

Tell him that you just said that because you were embarassed that people were recognizing your interest.

Tell him that in fact you do like him.

And voilá. If he fancies you that's a dating opportunity laid on a silver platter for him to accept.

If you want to have a chance with him... then you need to do damage control quick!

The sooner you admit your feelings... explain your negative reaction... and apologize for bruising his ego.. the better.

In the future... realize it's ok to admit you like someone... people really could care less... it's just mindless gossip to add to their daily conversations. Nothing really to worry about.

So what if you like him? To most of the people it's just so-and-so who likes so-and-so. And that could change from one day to the next.