This is killing me!

Hey guys..

Me and my 'ex' now have been apart for only 2 days.. but we said that we have broken up 2weeks ago..

Long story short, she says that she cant be with me because she's afraid to hurt me again if she accepts me back.. her love for me no longer as strong as the love i have for her..

She said that she wants to be alone or single for at least 8-12months... she just wants to focus on work and uni until she graduates.. which is around that time..

Just yesterday i finally accepted that we're over and i also told her that.. however im just lying to myself and i also said to her that i will always be there for her and will wait for her to come back..

the final message i got back from her says the following:

She will never forget me too
I am the most wonderful person
Hope that one day we will cross paths again, she also added 'I really do' not just now... not anytime soon...
We'll focus on ourselves and work hard.
Dont want me to do anything stupid
And also added that she is wearing our first year anniversay watch (a couples watch) and she will wear it everyday..

I am really happy that she still cares for me.. but i just dont know what to do right now.. i've done mybest to try and get her back.. she knows that i still love her alot.. All i know now is that she really needs the time alone and think... (i also know that she really cares about our relationship because i talked to her sister and she said that my ex is trying very hard to go through this)

What can i do now? even though i messaged her saying that I will do my best in everything.. because in the last message she also said that she wants me to do my best and doesnt want me to fail uni..

I really want to talk to her again.. I miss hearing her voice.. what is going on? she misses me, cares for me but doesnt want to be with me?

She sweared to god that she wont be in a relationship for at least a few months.. am i suppose to respect that and wait a few months?

Also there is another guy that likes her and always there to comfort her during our breakup.. Theres one time i told my ex to not talk to him delete his number, so she did.. she messaged him not to call her and guess what he replied? 'he'll wait for her" like WTF!?

my ex told me that she doesnt talk to him anymore.. but im very affraid.. i dont know what she's doing... Should i try and be 'just' friends with her? im very afraid to lose her.. i miss her very much.. all night i couldnt sleep... 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am, 7am, 8 am... I just watch the clock tick as i check my phone every so often to see if i will receive a message from her...

Please help me... i really dont know what to do.... I cant move on, i cant forget her.. and she doesnt want to be with me.. not now... and its hurting me so badly in the heart from now..

You just have to respect what she is asking for and let her go, that's all you can do.

If you chase after her, beg for her back she will lose all respect for you.

Just go no contact and move on with your life, it does get easier over time and then maybe she will come back again some time down the track, maybe she wont but by then you would have moved on and you may find yourself in a much better place

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Originally Posted by Horseyguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You just have to respect what she is asking for and let her go, that's all you can do.

If you chase after her, beg for her back she will lose all respect for you.

Just go no contact and move on with your life, it does get easier over time and then maybe she will come back again some time down the track, maybe she wont but by then you would have moved on and you may find yourself in a much better place

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I do respect her.. thats why im doing my best not to contact her.. but its killing me...

In my last message to her I said that i will wait for her.. maybe i shouldnt? cause it is really killing me..

But i dont want to hurt her if she comes back to me.. im very confused...

however in the last message from her she did also say that "if things are meant to be, it will happen"...

Because we are in our exam period now.. I was thinking if i'll keep a distance from her.. and in 4 weeks time (after all our exams are over) i can call her and ask to be friends and start fresh again? or is it better for me to wait for her call?

She's very stubborn though... whatever she says she will do it...she said give her months.. then i know she wont contact me any time soon.. but i really miss her..

She's my motivation for everything right now.. I dont feel like studying, only when i can think of something positive with her thats when I can focus and enjoy life.. she's means a lot to me in my life... very important to me.. i base everything around her.. even though i know thats a bad thing.. but thats how i feel...

If thinking that i can be friends with her after 4 weeks... might give me the chance to be happy and cruise through my exams.. but i might get hurt if she doesnt accept that in 4 weeks.. but do you reckon 4 weeks is a long time to think things through?

Im afraid that months later, she will lose feelings for me instead and whatever she said in the last message it will mean nothing to her... =[

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She's my motivation for everything right now.

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This is the problem right here. You are too dependent on her and she is sick of it. Do not contact her for any reason, and she'll probably be in contact before a few months are up. If you continue contacting her, she's going to become frustrated, annoyed, and angry that you won't respect her wishes.

And don't hold on to hope or you will be suspended there for a long time. Accept what has happened, move on and trust that if you are meant to meet again when the timing is better you will. If not, you will most likely meet someone else and be very happy with them.

I will remain calm and wont show that i depend on her..

Just that motivation and positive thinking right now is what i really need.. i guess i need to trick myself for now and believe.. and also prepare for the answer which she will give me in 4weeks...

I can only see 3 possibilities...

1. Accept us to be together again
2. Accept to be friends (and start fresh.. dont know how it will work but i guess i will go with the flow and hope my feelings wont be as strong for her by then..)
3. She still wants to be left alone and i will accept that.

these 4 weeks will give me the time to think clearly too, i just find it VERY hard to just think that she's out of my life when I still have a very strong feeling for her and knowing that she still cares for me...

Am i stubborn to think this way? but during the 4 weeks i will take in all the advises from everyone.. i just need to try this one more shot because for the past few weeks i given her way too much pressure... and always questioning her why doesnt she want to be with me when she cares about me?

i've been pushing her away with all these pressure, but i personally think 4 weeks is enough.. just before the feeling is completely vanished... im really afraid of that right now..

wish me luck? or forget it because it wont work? might need the advice from a female friend here... but i really do feel better thinking that i can talk to her again in 4weeks.. just gotta keep telling myself not to have high hopes..

So yesterday she messaged me instead and ask me to be friends before i even get to ask her as i planned..

We talked over the phone and had an argument... went pretty bad.. nothing worked out.. she says that she's very shallow and she cant stand me no more.. even after our 3.5yrs relationship...

I told her that I'm letting it go and im finalling giving up trying to be with her again... She messaged back and said sorry and she doesnt want to be like this, and said that she feels like this missing something everday, she will think about me everyday... she said that she does respect everything i have done for her in the past.

At the end she added also "you deserve someone better and that wont be me" tells me to take care and do well in my exams.

What the hell does that mean? what am i suppose to do? is she trying to spark the feelings that i have for her again? its killing me.. i wanted to let go.. having what she said in the message in my mind... how she said sorry and doesnt want to be this way and still thinks about me.. its giving me hope again..

Does she still like me? will she come back? or should i just let go and forget about her completely.. for the past day i've been checking my phone so often to see if she has messaged me to ask to be back together.. i havnt message her yet... except replied to her other message by saying "if you still have feelings for me, any feelings then you should learn how to respect me first. eg. talking to the bastard doesnt help"...

I still care and think about her... i feel so stupid right now.. i dont know what to do...