He needed closure from his ex
I've been living in France on a ski resort for 5 months, when I first got there I started seeing a guy I worked with. Our relationship has never been perfect but then who's is? We were together for 4 months when his ex who is French and lived an hour away came in to eat at the bar we worked at as she was visiting for the weekend. He didn't speak to her and we didn't really talk about the fact that she was there. (They were together for a couple of months a year ago then when he came back to England the split up with him a month later with no explanation. Before we were together he told me she was his kryptonite and he couldn't say no to her). The next night we were sat at the bar planning our trip round Europe that we were going to make on our way home. Then she walked in and we both got up to work, for the rest of the night at work she was there and he didn't talk to me, I didn't go to him either because I didn't want to have to throw myself at him to mark my territory and I knew something wasn't right, he just stood on the side of the bar that she was, he claims he wasn't talking to her but I can't be sure cause that side of the bar was behind a pillar. He came up to me once about 2 hours later and touched my bum and by that point I was so upset I could barely look at him. Then she left as we were closing and he followed her out and stood outside talking to her for about 15 minutes. I was so upset I asked to leave work early. As I left he called after me and tried to call me once but I didn't answer. My boss insisted that I went out with her even though all I wanted to do was go home. Then after him insisting all day that he was staying in that night he came to the club when he finished work, knowing she'd be there (and probably not expecting me to be). Again we didn't talk but he was stood with her at the bar so I left. My friends who stayed have told me they were dancing together and when people asked him what the hell he was playing at he just shrugged and didn't seem to care. Later I went back out and he saw me and left. I stayed for a while then when I left sat on the wall with so,e friends. She left the club and saw i was there and hesitated for about about 10 minutes, I'd seen that shed been texting someone and could only assume it was him. She walked off and my friend walked in the same direction to go to her boyfriends where my boyfriend also lived. My friend saw the ex hesitate near my boyfriends house noticing that she was behind her and then walked the other way, then my boyfriend walked out of his house saw my friend and asked where I was. She said that I was outside the club and he walked off she peaked round the corner and saw that they had met up (it was 5am by this point by the way). My friend called me and I went to confront them. When I got there they were round the corner, he saw me and walked towards me and my friend saw her run the other way. He was very drunk and showed little to no remorse. I asked to see his phone and he'd sent texts saying that he was sorry he didn't say goodbye but it was too hard, she was all he ever thought about, he missed her more than he could have ever imagined, he needed to see her. She said she was leaving the next day so he said 'meet me tonight' and that's when I caught them I guess. He didn't say much except that I expected him to chase after me like he always did (that was definitely a massive over exaggeration and not the case at all as we barely argue).
I didn't hear from him until about 36 hours later. He apologised (over text) more for not contacting me than for what he'd done. We met to talk the next day and he told me that when he saw her feelings reappeared and he couldn't be with me while he had feelings for someone else. Over the next few days we didn't argue, we had a few heart to hearts, he told me he needed to see her to get closure and to see how he felt. He cried a few times and as the days went on I think he realised more and more what he'd lost, but still stood by the fact he needed to see her. I remained calm and just kept saying we could still be friends.
Exactly a week later we all had our end of season meal and he went straight home afterwards at about 8.30 because she said she might come over to talk and he wanted to have a clear head. His story is this: she came round at about 11 they spoke, they kissed, she stayed over, fell asleep at around 12?? (They spoke for an hour and she fell asleep??), apparently she took pyjamas with her and nothing else happened. Then she left in the morning. (Oh and by the way he had a single bed). To be honest I don't believe him, personally I think she just didn't turn up as the story he told didn't really add up to me.
The next night we had a drunken chat, he cried a lot saying he missed me and wanted me back. I said I didn't know if I could trust him and was still so so hurt. Since then we've come back to uk after a week in amsterdam on the way home he stayed with me for a week and I'm supposed to be visiting him in wales next week before he moves to cambridge where I live (in his own place obviously). Please help me to make light of the situation because I feel like I'm second best, I don't believe his story and think that she actually just didn't turn up. Do I let him move to my city when I feel like I was just a second option? Or do you think he was just confused and made a mistake. Sorry for rambling and I really hope someone can help. Thanks, Rachel
