I'm interested, she's interested, but the past is too much.

It's alot to type out and i want an unbiased opinion or advice, i honestly don't know where to turn, so i googled for a love forum and i found one, hopefully this will help because i literally have no where else to go for advice....

Here's the quick summary of the story:

So, i started talking to this girl, who, after a while, shared an amazing amount of interest. We have been texting for over 3 weeks now, i knew her already, but we didn't really talk much. She has a history of talking to guys, and as of my knowledge, has slept around. She has, attempted to sleep with some of my friends about 2 years back, and when unsuccessful, moved on to another. As far as i know, this girl likes to have "fun" with guys and since some of these guys are my friends they relay this information onto me. I always thought that she was a **** (not sure if im allowed to say it so i censored it out) and didn't really get involved with her. But since we started talking she seemed less like a **** and more like a person just looking for a special someone to share their time with. But at times i would have my doubts and think that she just wants my ****. I really don't know what to do i'm totally stumped...she doesn't know, that i know her history. I always think it's fair to give someone a chance and not prejudge them based on information that is old. But, my mind is clouded and constantly clashing with itself...either to continue or to drop this girl.

Maybe she has just been looking for love, but looking in the wrong places. Some people - women especially, I think - sleep with lots of people because they have low self-esteem and low standards, not because they are ****s. So I think your biggest problem with this lady will be her self-esteem, not the fact that she will go around cheating on you or anything.

Of course I am making an assumption and she might just be 'easy'! But I honestly don't know that many girls who are purely 'easy' and who like to sleep around for nothing more than fun.

You need to try and establish what she is looking for. You could always just ask. She's not going to tell you she's looking for true love if she just wants to sleep around.

It seems to me that the fact that you have so many interests in common should be the important thing. If you like this girl then her past is part of her, which you have to accept too. If you like her, and she likes you, that is what is relevant.Take a chance, she may have changed in the last two years, and if she turns out to be a waste of time then you can always break up. You could be on the verge of something amazing... which you'll never know if you don't give her a chance?

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Originally Posted by Pikachu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It seems to me that the fact that you have so many interests in common should be the important thing. If you like this girl then her past is part of her, which you have to accept too. If you like her, and she likes you, that is what is relevant.Take a chance, she may have changed in the last two years, and if she turns out to be a waste of time then you can always break up. You could be on the verge of something amazing... which you'll never know if you don't give her a chance?

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good point, I want to but in doing so, i will look like a fool to my friends...they have warned me and if it turns out that it doesn't work then fine. the only thing is i don't want to look like the fool that got tricked. and the fact they she almost slept with one of my friends is weird, in dating would feel awkward....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pegasus5 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Maybe she has just been looking for love, but looking in the wrong places. Some people - women especially, I think - sleep with lots of people because they have low self-esteem and low standards, not because they are ****s. So I think your biggest problem with this lady will be her self-esteem, not the fact that she will go around cheating on you or anything.

Of course I am making an assumption and she might just be 'easy'! But I honestly don't know that many girls who are purely 'easy' and who like to sleep around for nothing more than fun.

You need to try and establish what she is looking for. You could always just ask. She's not going to tell you she's looking for true love if she just wants to sleep around.

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i was thinking of asking, because i think if i got the issue off my chest i would be able to move on. Maybe i should...

There are so many ways to view it. The easiest way is to acknowledge that the past is just that, the past. I say If you're interested and she is interested, then go for it.

Some people have trouble with others pasts, people with these issues should probably avoid the relationship because it will weigh on them. I have a friend that is dating a guy who is constantly on her about her past because he is in his 30s and only been with 3 women, whereas she is 25 and been with 20-something guys. She REALLY likes him and would never cheat, but he has trouble accepting that she has been with so many guys and it bogs down their relationship.

In my case my GF has been with substantial amount more guys than I have been with women, many of whom are still friends in her circle. I could go off feeling like a schmuk and that they're laughing at me in their heads thinking that they got to sleep with her before me. But you know what? F*ck em, I'm happy and she is happy, so her past with them means nothing. When thinking like this, the decision is easy.

let´s say that maybe just came the right time for a change. I know many girls around who was into guys a lot and behaved kinda like a **** until the met (lets say) the right one :) or until they fell in love.. Second thing is, that her past is still gonna be in your head and nothing change your opinion so easy. If i could give you an advice, i´d say - TRY IT, but won´t reproach her anything from her past. If you are gonna accept it once in the beginning, you shouldnt start to talk about it later :)
good luck anyway

thank you all for the advice, i really appreciate it, I will defiantly give her a chance. Its not everyday that i meet someone with so much interested in common as her. Once again, i really appreciate it.

THANK YOU! :)