A messed up girl has me messed up. Insight/advice would be APPRECIATED!!!!
I would appreciate your take and advice on my current situation. I understand it's a bit of a read, but interesting nonetheless. It would mean a lot to me.
I started dating a girl about 3 months ago. I was introduced to her by a mutual friend of ours and was immediately attracted to her physically. The first couple weeks that I knew her, we would go out for dinner, go to the park and talk for hours on end. We had a great time every time we went out. I eventually asked her out. She was hesitant at first, because she had been in many rocky relationships in the past and didn't want to be hurt, nor did she want to hurt me. Things started taking a very noticeable turn for the worse within a month......
A bit about her:
- 24 years old.
- Has had troubles identifying and relating with people her entire life.
- Has lived in various places throughout Canada and South Africa.
- Readily admits she has troubles showing affection. Dad left her Mom when she was an infant. Did not grow up in a household where affection is shown. Mother has rarely told her that she loves her. Brother and her fought consistently, as did her and her mother.
- Works 40-45 hours a week, but feels emotionally and physically exhausted in doing so.
- Was recently laid off from her primary job.
About me:
- 28 years old
- Was recently laid off from my job of 4.5 years that was good pay, but not exactly my forte and sometimes worked 90 hours a week.
- Just landed a very respectable job about 2 weeks ago. Something I've wanted to do forever. Something I can look forward to do every day. Decent paying job/title.
- Have been in quite a few relationships with girls that have mental instabilities (clinical depression, Manic depression, etc)
Within a month of us officially dating, she started becoming distant. Seeing each other for twice a week for no more than a couple hours. Her not calling me for days sometimes. Would be uncomfortable if I held, hugged or kissed her. We had sex twice in a 2.5 month span. Started yelling at me for very trivial reasons (Example: Me asking her why she wasn't a fan of her schedule that week) and would get defensive if I asked her simple questions. I did not meet her friends for almost 3 months, and when I did, it was one of the most disrespectful things I've ever encountered..... which I will get into shortly.
We had dinner plans this past Monday. She was to get off at 6:00, but didn't call me until 7:00 and then informed me that she was going to be even later due to how busy it was at her work. The reason she gave turned out to be false and i know this because two of my friends girlfriends/wives work at an associated place. I politely informed her of that, and she lost it. She cancelled our dinner plans, but then msg'd me 2 hours later insisting that she felt horrible and asked how she could make things better.
The following day, I was to meet her friends for the first time in 3 months. I didn't receive a message or a call from her all day, so at 6:00 PM I called her to ask how her day was going. She said her day had gone fine, but that she was getting ready to go to her friends birthday function.... which I was supposed to be invited to, and which she knew I really wanted to attend because of how important it was to me to meet both her friends and family. I asked if she wanted me to come, and she said it was completely up to me. I ended up going, and I really regret in doing so as it was one of the worst social functions I have ever been a part of....
I walked into the place, and there was a table of about 12, completely packed and without any room for sitting. I step aside to the bar and grabbed a beer. Upon arriving back at the table, my personal friend had grabbed me a seat between him and some guy I had not met before. My girlfriend had not said anything to me at this point, nor had she acknowledged me. Our mutual friend that introduced us to each other then took it upon herself to introduce me to everyone at the table. First up? My girlfriends ex-boyfriend. I had not been given a heads up or told before hand. She knew of this 30 minutes before my arrival, yet didn't think it was a good idea to inform me via phone, text or bbm.
We then decided to go to another lounge close by, as this one was completely packed and service was slow. I was the last to make it over to the next location, and upon arriving saw again that a seat had not been reserved for me. All in all, my girlfriend said 5 words to me all night/ over the course of 3 hours. A few of her friends mentioned to me that they found it strange and just plain wrong that she hadn't taken the initiative in introducing me to everyone, and especially due to the fact that she had ignored me for the majority of the night and paid attention to this group of friends which she had purposely avoided for the past 6 months.
I left early and told her we needed to talk. She asked if I was breaking up with her.... I told her I couldn't function in a relationship where there was very little emotion, intimacy and healthy dialogue.
*** People.... I can't make sense of what the hell happened here? Where did I go wrong? Where did the relationship go wrong? I put such faith into this when it started and to see it deteriorate to the degree that it did and to feel disrespected as I did again (and for the final time) on Tuesday..... I'm beside myself. I would greatly appreicate everyones insight as to wtf happened here.
