Help - Shes Killing Me

Good day fellow forumites
Please i urgently need your help as im dying with - please my hart has been shattered to pieces by the one whom i fell in love with
I met this girl while i was still in the uni, and then she was about gaining admission into uni - we fell in love with each other as i did everything financially, emotionally and never cheated on her for 6 good years we dated and everything was smooth - then i had to leave the country overseas for a masters programme and my girl eventually started cheating on me, my family got to know about it and strictly warned me to call it off - she wasnt prepared to apologize to even my mom whom was like a 2nd mom to her as i pleaded with her on all grounds to simply do all whats its capable to ensure that shes sorry and she has my backing 100% completely so we could plead with my family

I loved her with my life, i pleaded day and nite with my family but they just wouldnt agree to see reasons with me on her issue and she herself was bent on not apologizing to any member of my family, fastforward to 18th January, i returned back to the country and after much tussle and bustle she finally broke it off with me saying she was under too much intense pressure and i was shattered, I managed to gather the pieces of my heart together and continue with my life. all efforts of me trying to convince her via her friends fell on deaf ears as i managed not to get in touch with her for 5months, Then she started calling me out of the blue (first time claiming that she just thought about me and decided to holla)
then she sent me an sms on easter day and yesterday she finally decided to call me again claiming to check up on me.

Im really sorry for this long write up but i need as much valuable advice on this issue so i can know what to do.
well out of would i say false hope or anxiety i called her back and simply told her that im really not comfortable with her calling me to check up on me as i have my family and real friends to do that and she was shell shocked and cold before i hung up.

she sent me this sms - immediately after

Sorry if my calls and msgs make u uncomfortable. Just that i dont want us to be enemies as we are apart but its ok. U would never see or hear from me ever again, sorry for the inconvinces and good bye

I got confused and at the same still nursing hope that i could salvage the situation if only she could just wake up one day and decide to fight for me by simply apologizing to my family, they do not need accept as i could easily pick it up from there, had alot of talks with friends on the issue and 24hrs later got convince by an elderly one that i should simply reply back to her and responded with this message

Sup didnt mean to sound harsh bur i just felt there is really no need keepin in touch wen there is notin going on. I think its very easy and a 2 way thing. U either apologize to my mom no matter how u wanna do it or we quit the whole thing so kindly get back to me.

Then she responded saying
Sori to disapoint you but i have longed called it a quit rite from the day i told u i have. wat eva call or message you received from me was becos of the people you do send to me to talk 2 me and dey said we should be friends, so dont think im regretting or avin a rethink ok and please stop calling me with unknown numbers (I dont seem to understand where she got that from because i have clearly avoided calling or msging her from January till date) thanks for your understanding and good bye

Then i responded sayin
Thanks and please kindly stop calling or messaging me since you have decided and please i dont call you with withheld numbers as im too busy with my life for that.
Later

It really hurts me that things turned out this way, but i cant understand why this 23yr old girl cheated on me and is still getting pissed that my family are angry with her
why would she want to claim we remain friends when i love her too much to see we just remain friends, I would simply perform better knowing she doesnt exist @ all or shes in my life for good than choosing to remain friends with her.

please if there are any ways to salvage this situation, kindly share
if there isnt. . please just let me know, I can hear my heart beating as i still love this girl and my head almost exploding but i really need to do anything possible get my life together, im in a new relationship with a girl already whom i can say i clearly dont love - but it still hasnt been able to distract me and she really hasnt made me fall for her

really confused!


please i need as much replies as posible

I'm gonna give you the old, "if she was cheating on you, she wasn't worth it anyway" line. I mean, it's true, but obviously it doesn't help much. I know how you feel. My ex of over a year now still contacts me every couple months telling me she can't get over me, she misses me so much, but doesn't want to try anything again. It really screws with my head. I'd say ignore the texts, which is probably the best thing to do, but if you're anything like me, it's going to be really, really hard.

Basically, just do your best to not think about/talk to her and move on with your life. SO much easier said than done, but I feel for you.

Its true man! Im know its hard but you must cut her off and be the strong person. You will be able to live with yourself knowing that you never gave up, she did!
In life, if you quit something you fail, its the same in a relationship, you don't want to be with a quitter, you want to be with a loyal loving and caring woman that will love you even if you have a few problems and faults. I just posted a thread about some drama im going through, its similar.

I feel like giving up on women, i wish i could wipe my memory but you cant. I just believe no matter how messed up things are, God or someone else up there will provide the solutions its all up to you to figure them out.

For this, its easy.
Delete her number, if you can add it to a block list on your phone do it so she can never get through be the strong man, don't beg her because you will regret it in the long run, how can you live with yourself knowing you were begging someone that hurt you.

You may be lucky enough to have some friends who you can go out with and talk with, if they are good friends they will bring you bcak.

Know what you are worth! Your a good man and you never give up...
The only person that did was her and she has to live with it not you, by blocking her, you make that clear. Take your time to move on, because i know there will be someone out there that will love you for you, even if you got some faults.

Keep your head up!

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