He said he wanted a relationship, but now he's too busy

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07-07-18, 04:55 AM
blabla

He said he wanted a relationship, but now he's too busy

I met a guy on an online dating site, we exchanged a few messages, had a phone call and he asked me out on a date.

The date went really well, we have lots in common, and I really felt a connection there. He said he felt the same, and that he wanted to see me again, asked if I wanted to see him again and I said yes.

He then sent me a message the next day, again saying he wants to see me again sometime. And then stopped messaging and went silent. After a few days, I thought that was weird and sent him a message asking if he's ok since I haven't heard from him in a few days (please notice that before our date he was texting me veeeerryyyy long messages every day and also talking on the phone).

He responded immediately to my message, saying he's been really busy, hectic schedule, blablabla. And that he would like to see me sometime and speak soon.

I didn't know what to think at this point, since I dated before, and I know that when a guy is into you, he doesn't say he wants to see you "sometime", he actually plans a day and time to see you. And he also stays in contact, even if it's just a quick message because he's busy.

Anyway, since I met him, "busy" has been the keyword he says all the time. It kinda just puts you off.

I decided to tell him that I have my own life too, but that I am ready to make time for dating and a relationship, and want someone on the same page. Told him that when he says he's so busy, it makes me wonder if he's really interested.

And told him that yes, he did say he has a busy life, but he also said he wants and is ready for a relationship. To me, this equals to: "I have a busy life but I'm prepared to make dating and a relationship a priority".

Well, it seems that in reality he's not ready to do that, and just wants things on his own terms and when it suits him. So, I told him I don't wish to see him again. He didn't like it, as he said he wanted to see me again and get to know me, but I felt his approach would hurt me in the long run. He also said he can't offer me anything more at this point. I want someone who is truly available, especially mentally and emotionally.

I feel a bit sad now to be honest, because I did really like him and felt we did have a connection. I was excited to see him again soon, but all the "busyness" and silence from him just put me off and I felt I've had to do the best for me.

What can you tell me about this?
08-07-18, 09:17 PM
pcmaster

Obviously hes not making you his priority. You have to set how many times per week or month you have to meet for this to be worth continuing. Tell him if its not x number of times per x time frame then you have to move on cause its not fair to you. He shouldnt start dating if hes so busy.
08-07-18, 11:53 PM
fearoflove

I am a busy professional and I understand those who are driven for success and it can impact dating life. However, I wouldn't say this guy is excusable. I mean, I understand if he doesn't communicate within a few days if there is a big project that has to be done. However, someone who cares and respects you, will tell you that before ignoring you and then set a solid date when you two can see each other again. If he didn't do those things, you can bet he is treating you casually. In other words, he doesn't care if you come or go, it doesn't make a difference.
09-07-18, 03:02 AM
blabla

Quote:

Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Obviously hes not making you his priority. You have to set how many times per week or month you have to meet for this to be worth continuing. Tell him if its not x number of times per x time frame then you have to move on cause its not fair to you. He shouldnt start dating if hes so busy.

Yes, agree, he shouldn't be dating if he's so busy. Basically he wants someone who just waits for him to take care of his 500 other priorities and then make time for dating when it suits him.

He even told me that the busyness of his life includes this, that, hobbies and etc. I especially loved the "etc" part, so romantic for a woman to hear that a man has "etc" as priorities over her. Oh I think this guy must be the one! lolololol

I also didn't like he saying "I would like to see you again sometime". I'm sorry, but "sometime" is nothing. A guy who is interested wants to plan a day and time asap.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by fearoflove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I am a busy professional and I understand those who are driven for success and it can impact dating life. However, I wouldn't say this guy is excusable. I mean, I understand if he doesn't communicate within a few days if there is a big project that has to be done. However, someone who cares and respects you, will tell you that before ignoring you and then set a solid date when you two can see each other again. If he didn't do those things, you can bet he is treating you casually. In other words, he doesn't care if you come or go, it doesn't make a difference.

I am a single mom, and have built a successful business completely on my own from scratch, that I manage every single day. And yes, I still can and want to make time for dating and put a relationship with the right person as a top priority. So, hearing a guy saying "he's so busy" to me is pure bulls***.

I agree with you that he didn't care "if you come or go, it doesn't make a difference", that's why I told him goodbye.