I hate remembering, but I can't stand to forget...
Hi I'm new to this forum. I hope you guys can give me some advices on love matters.
I'm in love with someone. Very very much. I met her months ago, since the first sight, I'm already deeply, madly in love with her. I never talk to her that time because I'm someone who is quite introvert, I was too shy to talk to a stranger. However, I managed to know her through facebook, and from there, we started to greet each other when we meet. Now, we can talk to each other and our relationship is quite good. Though its only months, but seriously I just so much in love with her, I mean, very much. I've never try to pursue a girl in my life, she is the first one that makes me thinking of pursuing her, seriously, but till now, I haven't express my feelings to her. I bought a little present for her, for Christmas, and I've told her that. I was actually planning of giving her this week when I meet her. But just on Christmas eve, I was told by my friend that they saw her celebrating Christmas with her boyfriend. At first I refused to believe but then another friend told me he actually met her dating with a guy before, but he decided not to tell me because he knew that I really love the girl and he worried that I might get hurt, and yes, I'm really hurted when I heard the news. I tried to make myself forget everything about her and maintain our relationship as a friend, but the harder I tried, the more I miss her. My friend said that I only know her for months, so I can recover from that in 2 months time, but I don't think I can, they never know how much she means to me. Also I asked my friend about the present, they told me that it would be better if I keep it, and if I were to give out, I will have to give out as the last present I can give her. I was really upset when I heard the word 'last present' because I actually drew a portrait of her, planning to give her something more than a present would be during her birthday. I spent months to learn how to draw every single parts of human's face, and now her portrait is half-way done, I feel really sad to stop just like this. Yesterday I met her, she tapped me on my shoulder to talk to me, I was really glad, but yet I don't know what to say to her, I just smiled to her and replied a word or two. Now the present is still in my bag, I don't know if I should give it out. I tried to forget everything, but I really can't stand to forget everything about her, because I love her so much that I think I can't afford to lose her... What can I do... I'm really lost... I hate living my life like this...
*Sorry for my bad english!
