Scary isn't it? Sitting here at the grand ole' age of 23 and I feel as time goes on, the more I gotta' leave behind. I try to instill a positive outlook on life, but knowing the way I am I don't think I'll ever be able to. And that scares me shitless. Knowing that I'm not able to truly feel happy about things I should, I find it easier to not feel at all. I try to liken my emotions to that of a tap, something I can switch on and off. But losing all emotion on AD's is worse, as it's a waste of living. Because that's what life is about, feeling, emotion, experiences... I just wish I could enjoy them as much everybody else without the lingering feeling of hopelessness. Because sooner or later, I know I'll eventually succumb to it.