Post breakup-threat: Giving her space... problem!

Hey everyone

I've been with my girlfriend for around 3 months now, and I'm going to cut straight to the chase. We started off as friends on a gap year together, both same age just going to College in a few months, but to different ones.

So eventually I found out she had feelings for me, and we quickly became a couple. We didn't even go through the 'dating' phase, and became girlfriend/boyfriend very quickly, with her saying "I love you" to me within five days of 'getting together'. Yes, I know it may seem she's quick to make emotional decisions; but we had sex the very same night the first time together... and then I look at other relationships, even on TV where the whole "I love you" thing and first time having sex together is made out to be something that happens veeery far down the line normally. But it happened quite quick for us... Don't get me wrong, she's not a slutty bitchy type. She's a sweet girl, and comes off as innocent, but has a firey side and her temper can flare up quite badly, often releasing it on me even though I may not necessarily be the cause of it.

Truth is, it's my first serious relationship... and I made the mistake of 'being there for her TOO MUCH'. As in, I've been the knight in shining armor doing 110% all the time. Treating her like a princess, kinda spoiling her, and she openly tells me that I'm doing too much a lot of the time, even to the point she said recently: "You need to be more selfish"...


Quite importantly, we're on our gap year together in a foreign country doing a language course together, and we're not in our home environments so all the friends we have here are friends we made here, who are our fellow students in this programme. However... she feels she hasn't really made any 'real friends' here; and even in her times of really really getting angry at me, she has said that I am the only one she truly trusts and can rely on. As all of her other friends here have ditched her in the past and have really hurt her in that way...

So, she's normally a little 'clingy', like say, during the course of a normal day, I would go to class, but not really bother texting or calling her... and wait for her to always initiate. Which she did every day for 3 months, up until now.

Recently, she told me that I've been way toooo serious, and done far too much for her that she feels 'pressured' because she feels in her heart she isn't able to return everything I do for her... so it's taken a toll on her mood and feelings towards me. To the point that she has said: "I don't want to be with you anymore".

But, I made it very clear to her that at this point if we break up now over this, I can not be friends with her. And will have to shut her out of my life completely; because I feel it's such a stupid reason to break up... esssentially because she feels so 'tired' and 'pressured' because I tried to be the best boyfriend... well, I admit, giving unconditionally and trying to be like Mr Perfect for her may cause her to feel like I'm spoiling her and as a result she may not feel any need to challenge herself to get more affection from me, because I have shown too much already!!


SO, the thing is, I told her I'd give her some space; but we are going on holiday together with some other friends, taking a sleeper train... tomorrow. So I still want to give her her own time and space, but if we're in the same room together on a sleeper train, and also in the hotel... how can it work? Well, firstly, can it work? I think the whole concept of 'giving space' involves not physically seeing eachother and not really speaking to eachother so that we start missing eachother... but how can I do this if we're in eachothers' presence? I am thinking the silent treatment could work, but that has its negatives and failing sides... I made it clear to her, I don't want to be just friends with her because I truly in my heart feel that I can't be if we break up over this.

She really really cared about me before, but now her heart is in confusion, perhaps leaning towards wanting to end it. I still however, believe it's worth saving. So considering my situation.. how can I go about it? We're with other friends on this trip, and yes I could act all 'nothing's wrong' and (at least) act like I'm having a blast of a time with our normal friends and kind of give her the silent treatment... But seriously, what is the best way of going about it? I want to give her space, but it feels impossible because she is going to be nearby me physically for the next week or so... So is it possible to give eachother space even though we're physically in close proximity?

Any advice would be much appreciated

Thank you