Online Dating vs. Real Life Dating???

People say that online dating brings out "creepy strangers" who could be dangerous and sneaky, so I'm not so keen on going online to meet a guy just yet.
However, the last 2 boyfriends I had I met IN REAL LIFE and they simply didn't want a relationship even though I met them in normal social settings with my friends.
It seems great to go to a single's event or meet someone casually while, maybe in the park or doing something recreational - but the chance of meeting someone in real life who has the same emotional values and WANTS to get married and have children is slim.

If i go on line and meet someone, is there a better chance of meeting someone who wants a commitment and has the same relationship values that I have?
The only thing tempting me is KNOWING that those men are single and are tired of meeting women in social settings where the chance of meeting someone with the same wants is a shot in the dark.

Also, for me, personally, I want someone who's conservative and takes care of themselves and has a lot of knowledge of the news and can carry on an intelligent conversation. I haven't found this easy while meeting someone in real life because it's always about attraction and flirting before finding out how different that person is on the inside.

Pay for a good dating site. You will meet more serious professional people there than the free sites. Avoid men who live far away as long distance is not ideal and some of them are married so be v careful who you trust. Insist on meeting their friends or relatives early on so you know they are who they say they are but be safe and meet in public settings the first few times.. if they are not eager to meet you in person quickly then don't waste your time. They are likely hiding something if they have excuses not to meet up. And never ever give them money or gifts. There are a lot of scam artists out there

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Added: never get in there car or house until trust has been well established

If you're doing online dating, be prepared to churn through many men while you find what you want. There will be good guys and time wasters - just like in real life. Don't get stuck on someone until you really get to know them and their values.

In the meantime, it's very early days since your breakup. I suggest you don't rush in to anything

To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't highly recommend online dating unless you do so with the understanding that it is mostly a huge waste of time. Don't get me wrong, people DO have success on them. I would never dissuade anybody from giving it a shot. I'm just cautioning you not to expect a lot of success, and then hopefully fate will prove you wrong. From my experience, the crazies actually seem to be much less of a concern. The bigger concern is nobody actually takes it seriously in the least. You try to reach out to people and literally NOBODY bothers to respond. It honestly boggles my mind how completely stupid the human race is. What kind of moron goes on one of these sites and yet then doesn't even bother to actually interact with the people who try to reach out to them? Then why the Hell are you wasting your time and everybody else's by even going on the site in the first place?

Anyway, blah blah blah. Don't let my poor experiences scare you away from giving it a try yourself. That was NOT my intention at all. More so, I am hoping you can take my experience as advice not to expect too much, but at the same time to still give it a try. Better not to get your hopes up too much. If it winds up going really well for you, then you'll be pleasantly surprised. If it doesn't go well, then at least you expected that.

Bottom line, though, there is nothing wrong with giving online dating a try. Honestly, I think it is even better than dating somebody you met in real life first. With online dating, you at least usually get to know a bunch of stuff about them and realize that you have a bunch of stuff in common first. That is a big part of deciding whether you are a good match for somebody, and online dating can tell you a lot of that (as long as the person isn't lying) right off the bat.

Good luck to you. I do sincerely recommend you at least give it a try, and I sincerely hope your experience is much more positive than mine. (Heck, by default it would almost HAVE to be.)

Let's sum up internet dating in a nutshell shall we?

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Originally Posted by SadLove1980 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Also, for me, personally, I want someone who's conservative and takes care of themselves and has a lot of knowledge of the news and can carry on an intelligent conversation. I haven't found this easy while meeting someone in real life because it's always about attraction and flirting before finding out how different that person is on the inside.

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In all seriousness, we'd probably be perfect for one another because, well, I'm looking for the same.

Now is the part where your mind starts to wonder. Does he actually kept up with the fact that the presidential candidate who looks like he wears a toupee insulted the old codger who's only good points begin with "war" and end with "hero", or is he just some creep trying to put another notch on his bed-frame? (I'm the former btw. I just easily identify with the Sarcastic Good alignment.)

Welcome to internet dating. It sucks and everybody has their own experiences with it. But if you work hard enough at it you can probably find someone.

As a male, I've had two major interactions: Scam-Artists and Instant Unknown Rejection. Scam-Artists really suck the first time around, because it didn't occur to you that someone could get off to that sort of cruelty. IUR is bad too, because you don't know if they don't think you fit their personality, or because they are trying to ignore the hundreds of creeps you have to compete with. My other two interactions haven't happened since: On one interaction she actually read my profile and rejected me because I had put that I was allergic to cats and that it wouldn't work because she had one. In the other interaction I kept asking non-personal questions for about a month before asking her on a date which she agreed too.

For what women experience, I can only guesstimate. My assumption is you have to sort through hundreds of emails from guys asking you anywhere between a casual coffee date to an afternoon to morning session of NC-17 content. So you instant reject most of them until you realize you aren't going to find someone this way and never log back on to your account again.

I'd go with Match or eHarmony. I have accounts in both, but I'm ending my eHarmony one as there just hasn't been any activity or interaction. You play this back and forth "get to know each other" game, but for me the end of it has been either a scam artist or an IUR (and I think there is a bad interaction between eHarmony and Google email accounts). With Match I've actually had conversations, interactions, and there is a nifty timer that tells you how long it's been since the last time someone has been online.

Best of luck to ya!

SupperHappyTime,

It sounds like your experience basically mirrors my own. Honestly, I almost think of it as being very similar to a job search in just how frustrating and infuriating it is. Have you ever been searching for a job and you could swear you've applied to so many jobs you've lost count? Thing is, you don't just go around applying to every job out there without actually putting any sensible and reasonable thought and research into it. You apply for jobs that actually sound like a good match for you. So, you've applied to a ton of jobs, every single one of which might as well be describing you/your resume in what they are looking for in the person to fill the position......

And you hear back from a grand total of ZERO. :mad:

...But, you're aware that's kind of just how it goes, so you try not to lose faith and you keep plugging away at it....

So finally you hear back from one or two.... but that never goes anywhere and you almost feel like they were never taking it seriously in the first place....

Welcome to my experience with online dating. It's frustrating for a guy like me for a number of reasons. The biggest examples for me are A) At my age, with my interests, where the Hell else am I going to meet women? B) I'm really shy, so meeting people online first works really well for me, because I'm not shy online, and then once I've gotten to know somebody a bit, it makes me less shy in person. You'd think online dating would be PERFECT for me, and it would.... if anybody else actually took it seriously.

Ugh! Whatever.

I didn't mean to derail this conversation, so let's get back on track. Back to the OP...

Bottom line, I'd never deter you or anybody from giving online dating a try. I would say give it a try, really get into it, have fun with it. Just do so with the understanding that it will most likely never go anywhere and just wind up being kind of a waste of your time. Then, you won't be disappointed if it proves to be a waste of time after all (since you kind of expected that), or if it actually does go well you'll be pleasantly surprised. Good luck to you.

I wouldn't rule it out. I disagree that it will only bring out creepers, because isn't that real life too? When you go to the bar for example, there will be guys being creepy, rude, aggressive, etc, guys that are fun and kind, and pretty much anything in between. And like the others said, yes, you will dig through a lot of different people you wouldn't give a second thought to. Again, isn't that like real life too? LOL

I've never online dated before, but my best friend did. She asked for my opinion, and I told her- if they're all weirdos, aren't you too, since you're on there as well? These days EVERYONE and their Grandma are online. Supposedly 1 in 4 relationships start online. It's a good thing in theory because then you can be exposed to a broader range of people that know exactly what you're looking for. You can search for age ranges, specific traits, pretty much anything. My friend ended up getting married to a man she met online, and they have two little girls :-)

I think it can be a great tool to introduce yourself to a larger pool of people you might not meet otherwise.

I feel that online dating and real life are two different stuffs. Real life dating is considered to be more original. And online dating is like a date where we are trying hard to impress the other person. You don’t have to be yourself I’ll say. But then again there are cases where a good healthy relationship is formed through online dating. There are cases here in Toronto like that. I personally know a person who got married to a man whom she found using an online dating service in Toronto call Premier Introductions. I feel its all upto the people in the relationship! :)