I did something that is really messed up now I don't know what to do. I think I ruined my life.
My husband over the span of several years always kept a close leash on me, always checked up on me, threw fits every now and again if I did something different like fix up for work. He never out right accused me of an affair all the time, but would ask me if I slept with this person or that person. My answer was always a truthful, "no"
We had a fight about a month ago, and he didn't talk to me for a full day - and I contacted a lawyer friend to figure out how to get our affairs in order. The D-word had been thrown around for several years. My attorney friend emailed me and told me to call him with a prepaid phone. so I got one.
My husband and I for fun like to talk to people via text - it gets us going and we talk about it. Yes, these are dirty texts. We both do it, but it's innocent fun that we are honest about. Well, one day I was talking to this guy and I used that prepaid phone, and my husband found out about it and blew a gasket.
He sit me down and said to tell him whatever I was hiding. I came clean about the phone, talking to an attorney, and a couple bank statement related issues
I swore up and down that I wasn't hiding anything and he said just tell me who you F****. I said no one and this went on for 20 minutes or so. He then said, if you don't admit to screwing x,y, and z I'm going to leave you - but if you admit it we can work through it. I already know the truth. Well, it wasn't true - but I went with it. I didn't want him to leave me.
Well, this has ballooned. He made me record everything I did on a tape. I know I could have refused but I can't live without him. He even made me say that I recorded the recording on my own free will. He said he wanted it so that I could hear what I did.
It's been about a month and we went to counseling and everything and last night he hits me with I think you did x,y, z too. I denied it and he said I was lying, and he said he was going to leave, so I went with it again. THEN he hit me with that he was leaving anyways, and that he was going to make sure I lost my job, my credit, and ended up in jail.
Several of the people that he accused me of were co-workers or bosses and he said he's going to take the tape to the firms and tell the bosses there to make sure I lose my professional certifications ASAP so that he will keep quiet. I offered to pay him a hefty sum per month to keep quiet, because I don't want these other people's lives ruined. He said tough that I should have thought about it
I don't know what to do. I have a 2 year old. I want nothing more to be with him. I know I'm going to lose everything - job, house, money, cars, lifestyle. He said he could find a woman that makes him happy and treats him like a king, not a whore. I don't look anything like I did 10 years ago, I'm chubby, a mom, have mom "lady bits" which he said no one but him would like and he says I literally stink.
I mean no one is going to believe that I made everything up. I tried telling him that I did make it up but it made matters 10 times worse last night. He's pointed out all my faults- ugly fat no one will want me, and even if they did he'd tell them everything. He wants me to suffer. I'm afraid to go t a lawyer because they are going to think I'm bat shit crazy.
I don't want to rake him over the coals - I want him to walk out with everything that he's entitled to. I just want an amicable split on good terms for our 2 year old son. I'm going to hurt inside losing him. I feel like sticking it out because I don't want to ruin everyones lives that legitimately did nothing wrong, and I don't want to get sued for this whole fiasco by someone impacted by this issue.
Has anyone else lied about having an affair when they didn't ? I know this is messed up. I just don't know what to do. I know that you probably don't believe me either.
