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Ok, I just became "exclusive" with this guy and I really really like him. Now, I am feeling very possessive. When he tells me about going abroad on a trip over a weekend to visit his parents, I suspect he might be visiting a long distance girlfriend or something.
I am afraid of turning into a maniac who become suspicious of everything he does.
Help
Check yourself into mental hospital.
LOL. Well, that was helpful.
You are just falling in love....it will pass.
Thanks Smackie. lol.
I have a feeling this one is special.
Then realize that all you an do is getting to know him
.either you trust or you might as well not be in a relationship
Either you want him to be happy and have fun
Or you might as well get yourself a slave
Sometimes you can't help how you feel. The thing is, it sounds like he has done nothing to make you legitimately concerned about anything like that. You can't necessarily help your feelings... but you CAN help how you do or don't act upon them. It gets easier with practice... but what you have to be able to do is learn to better recognize when you are just worrying yourself over nothing and when you have legitimate reasons for concern.
This seems mostly likely like a time you are worrying over nothing. And that WILL get better over time, so long as he proves trustworthy. You are still early into the relationship. I completely understand your paranoia. Don't beat yourself up too much... but don't beat him up either. :)
In time, hopefully he will prove to be trustworthy and that should help you not to worry so much.
Good luck.
I am sorry because i realized that my post (tho correct in information) doesn't help you
So here it comes:
What do you want in regards to him?
What would your ideal idea of a relationship be?
Update. He is very good at making me feel secure. Very open about sharing about where he is.
I recently dated a guy who told me he had cheated on his former wives and girlfriends. Then I was insecure and accused him of cheating over going up to a week or more without contacting me. He set me up to distrust him. I now think it was fear of commitment. If he gives you red flags realize it may be a phobia and the relationship may be impossible to force it to work.
fearoflove: "Where are you honey?"Quote:
Originally Posted by fearoflove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Him: "Im in your pussy to be honest"
What's that suppose to mean?Quote:
Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I think you must have been very hurt or cheated on by someone you loved and trusted and that is why you are feeling this way without him giving you possibly any reason to think something might be up. It will take time to get past that feeling, but would pass quicker if you maybe talk to him about it and later on and how pass relationships affected you? Try not to think the worse and push a good one away.
Oh, I have never been cheated on or at least that I am aware of. But this relationship is long distance and it's kind of hard to keep track of him and ensuring he doesn't have any other relationships. Don't want this happening:Quote:
Originally Posted by CantMoveOn [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Now, I am having thoughts about baby making with him and putting my first name with his last name to see how it sounds. Help!
Update: Is it weird to be having thought of him impregnating me. I think my heart is going to explode.
Have you looked for peace in church or friendly talk with friends?
I'm not going to scare people with these thoughts. Too afraid to tell my friends about this or anyone.
If they are good friends, they would understand and be there for you. I get if maybe you don't want to unload all of that on friends. Sometimes we do need to figure out when some thoughts are best left in our heads rather than spoken out loud. I always learn that the hard way when I argue with the voices in public. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to set anybody on fire. :D I'm kidding of course. (OR AM I?! :D )
But, talking about this stuff can sometimes help. I don't know if I missed it before or you just hadn't mentioned it before, but it makes more sense knowing that this is a long distance relationship. Those CAN be very hard. To make them work, communication is key. Yes, to some degree you need to learn to better balance when you are worrying for no reason and thereby find your own ways internally to calm down. If you constantly felt the need to have him reassure you, anybody is eventually going to get sick of that. If you overdo it, he could wind up resenting feeling as though he's being accused of wrongdoing when he's never done anything wrong.
...BUT, that doesn't mean you can't talk to him about all this to some degree. Heck, even just be honest with him. You could even just say something like "I'm really sorry if I get a little carried away. This long distance thing is kind of new to me and just freaks me out a little. Sometimes it just helps me to be reassured."
In time, hopefully he continues to prove he is trustworthy. If so, hopefully that also results in you feeling much more relaxed about the situation. Hopefully you no longer feel the need to worry. But, for now, just balance it yourself when you can, and be open and honest with him when it gets too strong and you feel you can't.
Also, important to remember that it is okay to get lost a little in the idea of love. To fall deep for somebody even if it seems too early... BUT.... it is also important to be reasonable with yourself about that. It is okay to feel so in love that you are already thinking of a future with him.... so long as you can also engage your intellectual side and realize that it is too early to actually move forward with that sort of thing or even share that with him just yet. In time, he could turn out not to be what you think and then you'd be much better off if you hadn't let yourself get too lost in all that. Or, in time, he could turn out to be what you imagined him to be or even better.... and then that is awesome and great. But, think of it like this. If it turns out he is amazing and awesome and everything you want in a guy.... he will be tomorrow... a month from now... a year from now. In other words, there is no need to rush things. Enjoy each other and when the time is right for each big step you'll both know.
Best of luck to you! :)