She says I'm too dumb for her and broke up with me

Printable View

11-10-17, 03:18 PM
JohnGoober

She says I'm too dumb for her and broke up with me

I have been in relationship with this girl and moved to her country 3 months ago and lately things are going pretty bad and she is seeking for a breakup. She gets angry over the smallest things.. for instance, I fell asleep in the evening and didn't answer her calls or messages for 4 hours and she ignored me for 3 days. She called me a liar for suddenly ignoring her and I got frustrated and told her she can contact my roommate and I did something stupid.. I showed her my google map activities to show her I never left the house and stayed in my room, I guess this was a really cringe move from my side and I behaved in a similar way before. She gets mad if I don't fill her water when we eat in restaurants and starts ignoring me for 2-3 days. Due to this behaviour, she calls me dumb f**k, stupid and she feels pathetic she has a dumb idiotic boyfriend even though I'm doing master's degree with scholarship.

She blames me for causing all the drama but I feel like I'm just struggling to show I care. She told me not to talk to her again. What should I do? I have told her if her life is better without me, I would not bother her. I still love her but I can't be myself around her even because I feel she is very judgemental. I haven't had much experience with relationships so I've started to feel I'm dumb. I'm deeply hurt and want her but at the same time, I'm trying not to contact her. Its been 5 days, she hasn't unblocked me and I haven't called her number or emailed.
12-10-17, 01:25 AM
fishy_bull

It's better to stay away from a toxic person. Try to be around people who make you feel better than someone who is constantly judging you. Those who love you inspire you to become better, not make you feel you're inferior to them. It's good you're not contacting her. Focus on yourself and your happiness. It'll be more beneficial to you in future ;)
12-10-17, 01:41 AM
lovebroken

She is verbally abusive and to me, that isn't what a person who cares about or loves another person does. If she is having a bad day she should talk to like a normal person and not lash out in anger over silly things to make herself feel better. Not contacting her will be good for you, when you do talk discuss why she feels the need to demean you so much. I think she does this because she knows you love her and will allow it. Better to put your foot down now and no longer allow it.
13-10-17, 12:07 AM
GLYC

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovebroken [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She is verbally abusive and to me, that isn't what a person who cares about or loves another person does. If she is having a bad day she should talk to like a normal person and not lash out in anger over silly things to make herself feel better. Not contacting her will be good for you, when you do talk discuss why she feels the need to demean you so much. I think she does this because she knows you love her and will allow it. Better to put your foot down now and no longer allow it.

I agree. Great advice. Put her in her place, in an adult manner. No yelling or namecalling.
Tell her how she treats YOU is wrong. If she calls you names, tell her to get back in touch with you when she wants to work things out and can do so like a mature adult, how she's acting is like a child.

Tell her she needs to express herself in a healthy way if she disagrees, stonewalling creates drama and is toxic. Its childish.
I read studies on it and it's actually a form of emotional abuse.
I couldn't be with someone that does that, imagine the future when you have more issues, and she just expects you to figure it out while leaving you in the dark.

Screw that noise!
13-10-17, 07:28 PM
JohnGoober

Thank you for the replies everyone. Despite this, I have tried to contact her.. through mail asking her whether she would be interested in talking and why she is ignoring me. She said I'm annoying her. I now realise its time to stop talking to her. However, I still want to let her know how much she hurt me, how much she blackmailed me by emotionally abusing me all the time.. I want to tell her this even though this might end any slight chance of being with her again. I think I'll tell her.
07-11-17, 08:41 PM
janelove121

Contact Dr. DUGO on E-mail: dugo_d@yahoo.com, he has the spiritual charm to make everything right back for you. Trust me
09-11-17, 12:16 PM
Snow White

You have extremely low self-esteem! I am use to reading posts like this from women. "I want to tell her this even though this might end any slight chance of being with her again." After everything, you are still hoping for that slight chance. People treat us the way we ALLOW them to treat us. She doesn't sound like she is really going to care about how you feel.

She is an emotional bully and you filled her needs for that, but it's probably just too easy for her now and she will move onto someone new she can abuse. I strongly suggest you seek out therapy. Re-read your post. Would you want to hear that story from a best friend or sibling? It makes me sad that you would consider getting back with her after the horrible way she has treated you. You have to ask yourself why that is. If you do not work on yourself and why you allow yourself to be abused, you will always attract people like her to you.

You must believe you are worthy of love and respect. Do not accept anything less.