Why do guys who are ugly think they have a chance?

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Originally Posted by Hooo! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Those above are sure signs that the solution to your problem
1) is outside your zone of comfort
And
2) you have been improving and changing the wrong things.

If you think this problem is not solveable then that is just your way of trying to cope with a problem. By having no power over it you give up your own responsibility, because “no matter what you do, it can’t be changed anyways”

That is one way of trying to deal with a problem.
However I think it not very useful. If you want to positively change your life you have to accept the possibility that you have to let some happiness and positivity into your life.

I have argued with guys like you before.
And believe me: the most difficult parts are not the attributes you are given.

You can follow my reasoned argumentation - if you choose to. So you ain’t that stupid
You maybe ugly, but that makes it more difficult / not impossible (as the most ugly woman proves)
The most important thing (from my point of perspective) is for you to
1) get a sense of self worth and positive outlook. You are worth the same as me and I believe more than some douches
2) get outside help and trust them if you think they are worth it
3) stand up one more time than you fall down

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i have tried to improve everything, not just some things. its not solveable to fix 100+ flaws, i already tried to fix them.

dude, 1000+ women have said no to me on internet. that should say it all. and most of them where not "good looking".

i am not like those other guys you talked to, i am litterly one of the most useless guys on earth, not saying that in a pity party its a fact. i never seen anyone list 100+ flaws like i have. i dont even have one good thing with me. i am a total loser.
my attributes given to me its whats wrong with me, if i did not have all these flaws i would not be forever alone and this negative.

i am not ugly, i am brutally ugly, top 10 most ugly in my city which has 300 000 people, thats how ugly i am. you probaly think i am trolling now, i am not.

i am not worth same as you and even those douches, you and those douches have social skills, good looks, nice job etc, you are real mean, i am just a little whiny boy with a deformed face and body and low iq subhuman. i deserve to live in the dark full of depression and chest pain my whole life.

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*real man...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0_sU-Xf--vs

Guy born with no legs and arms did it. In fact, he does more in his life than most people ever will.

Even if you have a less attractive face, you can still dress in a nice manner, get in shape, groom yourself, etc.

If you had tried everything you would
1) not be whiny
2) found a way to change the sadness
3) got in shape with a sense of dress
4) gotten social experience

How many women have said no to me? I don't even know
Many
The problem is that for you this is a problem.

You say you are worth less than others? That's bullshit. Even if you disagree that everyone is worth the same then you must agree that people alternatively are judged by the things they do
There probably are a lot people out there who do worse things than you
So by that standard you are worth quite more than others

If you have the delusion that the worth of people is decided by their face, that is one thing you didn't change before now. So.

Again

Seek professional help
Change internaly
Change your attitudes completely
Change your grooming and sense of dress style
Just talk to people and notice their reaction to what you say and how you say it

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Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0_sU-Xf--vs

Guy born with no legs and arms did it. In fact, he does more in his life than most people ever will.

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Guy had loving supportive parents who loved him like he deserved everything. Think they asked him to promise that he will achieve everything he deserves or something like that.

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Originally Posted by jeffersson [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

why do you ignore all those who lived there whole life alone. only because this guy had sucess it does not mean others will. i am not him. he has a attractive face btw and is smart and have a fantastic personality, i have nothing good with me, i just have flaws. he is better than me.

yeah all people can improve their looks, no doubt, but i am so ugly that its just sad, if i dress nice, groom myself etc i would still be 1.1 of 10 on the look scale. i truly look like shit.

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my relation to mom is decent.

my dad have told me my whole life how ugly and worthless i am.

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You need to believe in yourself. It's pointless to talk to someone who only looks at life as, "I can't do this because of this", versus a person that sets goals and says "if I do this, put in this hard work, I can achieve this".

You messaged a 100 women on the internet. Your internet pictures were probably poorly taken selfies, and your bio, if it was anything like how you're writing, was probably offputting. Both of which, wont get any positive attention from women.

The reality is, that man has no limbs. He talks in his speeches about how much he wanted to kill himself and how down he looked upon himself. But he decided to live his life to the best of his abilities.

I don't know what youre looking for here. Confirmation that you can't do it or what? So far all I've heard is complaining and reasons why you can't achieve anything with no real examples of you actually putting in hard work.

The reality is. Nobody can do things like this for you, you have to do it for you.
So, I guess it comes down to, do you want to change things? Or do you want to just sit in sorrow feeling bad for yourself? To me, sitting around sounds more painful and tiring than taking actual action.

I probably come off as a jerk in this, and I apologize for that. But you need some tough love.
I can't even keep posting in here if you keep degrading yourself. It's exhausting.

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Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0_sU-Xf--vs

Guy born with no legs and arms did it. In fact, he does more in his life than most people ever will.

Even if you have a less attractive face, you can still dress in a nice manner, get in shape, groom yourself, etc.

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why do you ignore all those who lived there whole life alone. only because this guy had sucess it does not mean others will. i am not him. he has a attractive face btw and is smart and have a fantastic personality, i have nothing good with me, i just have flaws. he is better than me.

yeah all people can improve their looks, no doubt, but i am so ugly that its just sad, if i dress nice, groom myself etc i would still be 1.1 of 10 on the look scale. i truly look like shit.

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Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Guy had loving supportive parents who loved him like he deserved everything. Think they asked him to promise that he will achieve everything he deserves or something like that.

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my relation to mom is decent.

my dad have told me my whole life how ugly and worthless i am.

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Originally Posted by Hooo! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If you had tried everything you would
1) not be whiny
2) found a way to change the sadness
3) got in shape with a sense of dress
4) gotten social experience

How many women have said no to me? I don't even know
Many
The problem is that for you this is a problem.

You say you are worth less than others? That's bullshit. Even if you disagree that everyone is worth the same then you must agree that people alternatively are judged by the things they do
There probably are a lot people out there who do worse things than you
So by that standard you are worth quite more than others

If you have the delusion that the worth of people is decided by their face, that is one thing you didn't change before now. So.

Again

Seek professional help
Change internaly
Change your attitudes completely
Change your grooming and sense of dress style
Just talk to people and notice their reaction to what you say and how you say it

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you can be whiny even if you tried everything, because if you tried everything like i have and still have no sucess then it makes sense that i am whiny and have give up.

my sadness is not the root-problem , its my face+body+low iq that is the root problem.

no clothes or haircut etc can make me look not ugly, if you ever saw me irl you would understand .

i have plenty of social experiance, but since i am socially handicapped it will not matter how much social experiance i gain becauce the root-problem is in my brain, being natural dumb can not be cured.

all women have said no to me, women dont even want to talk with me, they dont even want me as a friend. alot of women have made fun of me.

i already told you many times that i have several terapists.

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Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You need to believe in yourself. It's pointless to talk to someone who only looks at life as, "I can't do this because of this", versus a person that sets goals and says "if I do this, put in this hard work, I can achieve this".

You messaged a 100 women on the internet. Your internet pictures were probably poorly taken selfies, and your bio, if it was anything like how you're writing, was probably offputting. Both of which, wont get any positive attention from women.

The reality is, that man has no limbs. He talks in his speeches about how much he wanted to kill himself and how down he looked upon himself. But he decided to live his life to the best of his abilities.

I don't know what youre looking for here. Confirmation that you can't do it or what? So far all I've heard is complaining and reasons why you can't achieve anything with no real examples of you actually putting in hard work.

The reality is. Nobody can do things like this for you, you have to do it for you.
So, I guess it comes down to, do you want to change things? Or do you want to just sit in sorrow feeling bad for yourself? To me, sitting around sounds more painful and tiring than taking actual action.

I probably come off as a jerk in this, and I apologize for that. But you need some tough love.
I can't even keep posting in here if you keep degrading yourself. It's exhausting.

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but its not realistic for me to be in a relationship, its 0 % chance, so why go around and think that i have a chance. its waste of time and energy.

1000+ not 100.

i look bad in all pictures i have ever taken, i look bad in the mirror too. when people commented my looks it has always been negative like "you are the most ugly guy i have ever seen". and no i did not complain about myself in those websites i talked to women.


yeah thats right, stop lying to people. there is not someone for everyone, stop ignoring that alot of people where alone their whole life even tought they had good self-esteem and actually tried to date. it is possible to be too weird or too ugly to be in a relationship.

i have given alot of exemples. but somewhow you people do not belive me, you are basically calling me a liar.

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Originally Posted by jeffersson [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

but its not realistic for me to be in a relationship, its 0 % chance, so why go around and think that i have a chance. its waste of time and energy.

1000+ not 100.

i look bad in all pictures i have ever taken, i look bad in the mirror too. when people commented my looks it has always been negative like "you are the most ugly guy i have ever seen". and no i did not complain about myself in those websites i talked to women.


yeah thats right, stop lying to people. there is not someone for everyone, stop ignoring that alot of people where alone their whole life even tought they had good self-esteem and actually tried to date. it is possible to be too weird or too ugly to be in a relationship.

i have given alot of exemples. but somewhow you people do not belive me, you are basically calling me a liar.

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You've given no examples of trying to improve yourself. All of this time you've spent writing these whiny posts, could be spent reading books, meditating, working out, doing something to improve yourself.

The world's fattest man weighed 1400 lbs. He found somebody.

I'm not lying to anybody.

Even if you don't find romance, wouldn't you rather just improve yourself as a person?

Yeah, a waste of time and energy, NOT. A waste of time and energy is complaining on here instead of putting in work to improve yourself. Get a notebook, set some plans/goals and take action. Now. Not tomorrow, not next month, not one day.

Why even sign up for a website for relationship/dating advice if you refuse to acknowledge any tips or help.

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Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why even sign up for a website for relationship/dating advice if you refuse to acknowledge any tips or help.

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I given up on this guy already on much older topic. Cause I seen this shit before and it can take years for things to change. Could take a miracle or something like that. I was pretty much like this guy until miracle happened and I got taste of better life, then things started to change. Most drive and motivation comes from relationships what this guy dont have. Its a circle that he's been running for years.

I dont think advice will help here. Its like going to homeless guy and giving him advice on living. There needs to be energy from withing to change life.

everyone has varied views on attractiveness. i have seen msny guys i would consider less than perfect with fantastically beautiful girlfriends. many girls are more interested in personality than outward appearance. just because you are a hater doesn't shade others opinions of men.

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Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You need to believe in yourself. It's pointless to talk to someone who only looks at life as, "I can't do this because of this", versus a person that sets goals and says "if I do this, put in this hard work, I can achieve this".

You messaged a 100 women on the internet. Your internet pictures were probably poorly taken selfies, and your bio, if it was anything like how you're writing, was probably offputting. Both of which, wont get any positive attention from women.

The reality is, that man has no limbs. He talks in his speeches about how much he wanted to kill himself and how down he looked upon himself. But he decided to live his life to the best of his abilities.

I don't know what youre looking for here. Confirmation that you can't do it or what? So far all I've heard is complaining and reasons why you can't achieve anything with no real examples of you actually putting in hard work.

The reality is. Nobody can do things like this for you, you have to do it for you.
So, I guess it comes down to, do you want to change things? Or do you want to just sit in sorrow feeling bad for yourself? To me, sitting around sounds more painful and tiring than taking actual action.

I probably come off as a jerk in this, and I apologize for that. But you need some tough love.
I can't even keep posting in here if you keep degrading yourself. It's exhausting.

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GLYC hits a lot of points I've been trying to make as well. We all have said it over and over that we disagree there is no hope for you. Everybody who wants to, and puts effort to it, can eventually find love. It isn't like I am saying it is easy, but everybody can find love.

But, believe me, I 100% understand how you feel. I have basically come to accept it as fact that I'll never find love. So, I know how you feel, at least to some degree. Here's the thing, though.... so let's pretend you are 100% convinced love will never be for you and 100% convinced you could never do anything to change that.

We may disagree with you.... but no amount of us trying to convince you otherwise will change your mind. ....So, instead why not focus on what is next. Ask yourself... okay, so if I truly believe love will never be mine... then what do I do instead? That's the approach I have been taking myself these days. And you know something? It has helped SO MUCH. Because, when I stepped back and took a look at that, do you know what I absolutely did NOT want to be the answer to that question?

I absolutely did NOT want to say to myself "Okay, so if I truly believe I will never have love... then I guess I will just spend the rest of my days miserable, alone, depressed, and hating myself." Because, believe me, I've been in that abyss before. I know how it feels. I decided, instead, to focus on how would I be happy (or as happy as I can manage, at least) without it. If I couldn't have love, how could I cope with that and instead move on.

I haven't closed myself off to the possibility of love. If my dream girl suddenly fell out of the sky and into my lap (figuratively speaking, of course), I wouldn't put her down and walk away. But, I've just chosen not to torture myself about it anymore. I've chosen not to put so much of my self-worth into whether or not I can find love. Instead, I've focused on trying to appreciate myself, just in case nobody else is ever going to do it.

I won't lie and say it is easy. Some days get really hard. But, then some days are so amazing I can't believe it. I've accepted myself like never before. I've found happiness like I've never had and never thought I could. I found that all in myself. I don't say all of that to brag. Anybody who knows me well enough would know I'd be the last person in the world to brag about anything.

I say it all because you can do the same. If you truly think love will never be meant for you... then instead of focusing on how miserable that makes you, focus on what you do to find your happiness without it. It won't be easy, but you can do it. Plus, you truly never know. When you are happier with yourself, more content in your own body... sometimes that can even attract others to you. You may even ultimately find love when you otherwise thought it so hopeless. But, heck, even if you never do, at least you start to learn how to be happy with yourself anyway.

I hope you can find your path to happiness some day very soon. I know how the weight of utter hopelessness can feel. I wouldn't wish that on anybody other than maybe the most vile and horrible human beings on this planet, and by that I do NOT mean looks in the slightest.

Sadness distress and negativity shows in what you say, what you communicate
It shows in the way you move and hold your body. It shows in your attitudes and that manifests itself in soo many little behavioral ways that people can tell.
And this is something other people really do not enjoy.


You see: i am (for a male) really quite aware of my own emotions, when i stop to take note of what I'm feeling. And even reading your replies make me feel a little frustrated and annoyed. And this is not due to your face and not due to your lack of intellectual communication or even lack of social skills
It's just the outpouring negativity that annoys me a little by even reading your posts.
Now because i notice this i am able to ignore it - because i want to try and help you to find your working solution
But just imagine a person not so aware of their own emotions, imagine someone who doesn't want to communicate with you. They would not enjoy it
And of course they would not do it- why should they?


I have told you this before.
You have a question you cannot answer alone - because you have tried that.
Then trust in the answers other people give you. The answer is highly likely to be outside your own scope of awareness.

Maybe you can try out a good Pua bootcamp.
I'd suggest Ross Jeffries
He specializes in inner game

Agreed with Hooo. Whether it is your intention or not, negativity can become its own self-fulfilling prophecy. You think things are hopeless for you, and so you let that hopelessness define you. I don't mean to imply you do that intentionally, I know you'd LOVE to be Mr. Positivity if you could. I'm just saying, when you let that negativity control so much of how you are, of what you do, of what you say.... how can you ever expect anything to get better? And, of course nobody is going to want to be around that.

For example, let's just hypothetically say a woman came long tomorrow and actually sincerely liked you and wanted to date you. How long do you think that would last if all you could ever do is talk about how ugly you think you are, about all your flaws, about how you can't even fathom how she could want to be with you, and this and that? Eventually, that is going to wear away at anybody. It's okay to be aware of your own flaws, it is okay to want to work on them.... but your flaws don't define you. So, learn instead to work on fixing what you can change and accepting what you cannot. And, again, learn to find your path to happiness even if you truly think love will not be part of it whether you want it or not.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.... I definitely understand that is not easy.... but it is absolutely better than the alternative of just giving up and being miserable. Best of luck to you, as always,

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Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You've given no examples of trying to improve yourself. All of this time you've spent writing these whiny posts, could be spent reading books, meditating, working out, doing something to improve yourself.

The world's fattest man weighed 1400 lbs. He found somebody.

I'm not lying to anybody.

Even if you don't find romance, wouldn't you rather just improve yourself as a person?

Yeah, a waste of time and energy, NOT. A waste of time and energy is complaining on here instead of putting in work to improve yourself. Get a notebook, set some plans/goals and take action. Now. Not tomorrow, not next month, not one day.

Why even sign up for a website for relationship/dating advice if you refuse to acknowledge any tips or help.

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what examples do you want? i already said everything you guys told me to improve i have already tried.

"improving" myself will make me 1.1 of 10 on the look scale, so its not really worth to keep doing it.

ok the fatest man on earth found somebody, and? i am brutally ugly and dumb, thats a combo that makes my chances 0 %.

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Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I given up on this guy already on much older topic. Cause I seen this shit before and it can take years for things to change. Could take a miracle or something like that. I was pretty much like this guy until miracle happened and I got taste of better life, then things started to change. Most drive and motivation comes from relationships what this guy dont have. Its a circle that he's been running for years.

I dont think advice will help here. Its like going to homeless guy and giving him advice on living. There needs to be energy from withing to change life.

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its not about change life, its about change my body, face and brain but this can not be done, i already tried it. i already had energy to improve my life for many years but i failed, i realised there is no hope for me.

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Originally Posted by TheEvilJester [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

GLYC hits a lot of points I've been trying to make as well. We all have said it over and over that we disagree there is no hope for you. Everybody who wants to, and puts effort to it, can eventually find love. It isn't like I am saying it is easy, but everybody can find love.

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based on what? alot of people never found anyone even thought they put alot of effort in it.

and how can you people be so sure that there is a possiblity for me when you guys never talked to me irl and seen me? i know myself, i know what i am, you guys are just speculating.

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Originally Posted by Hooo! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Sadness distress and negativity shows in what you say, what you communicate
It shows in the way you move and hold your body. It shows in your attitudes and that manifests itself in soo many little behavioral ways that people can tell.
And this is something other people really do not enjoy.


You see: i am (for a male) really quite aware of my own emotions, when i stop to take note of what I'm feeling. And even reading your replies make me feel a little frustrated and annoyed. And this is not due to your face and not due to your lack of intellectual communication or even lack of social skills
It's just the outpouring negativity that annoys me a little by even reading your posts.
Now because i notice this i am able to ignore it - because i want to try and help you to find your working solution
But just imagine a person not so aware of their own emotions, imagine someone who doesn't want to communicate with you. They would not enjoy it
And of course they would not do it- why should they?


I have told you this before.
You have a question you cannot answer alone - because you have tried that.
Then trust in the answers other people give you. The answer is highly likely to be outside your own scope of awareness.

Maybe you can try out a good Pua bootcamp.
I'd suggest Ross Jeffries
He specializes in inner game

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yep no doubt that Sadness distress and negativity makes it hard but even with a great self-esteem, happiness and zero negativit i would still be alone my whole life. thats the point you dont get.

yeah okay i am gonna check out ross jeffries to see what he has to offer, but i am not hopeful about it..

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Originally Posted by jeffersson [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

based on what? alot of people never found anyone even thought they put alot of effort in it.

and how can you people be so sure that there is a possiblity for me when you guys never talked to me irl and seen me? i know myself, i know what i am, you guys are just speculating.

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You managed to conveniently ignore the rest of what I had to say. LOL! Believe me, I may be one of the few people in the world who 100% understands how you feel. I know that may sound crazy considering my advice, but I've pretty much accepted that love will never be meant for me either, no matter how much I may have always wanted it. I still believe 100% that true love can find anybody who wants it and puts the effort into finding it.... for some reason I just have a double-standard against myself and don't believe I can find it. It makes no sense, I know... but then I make no sense. LOL!

But, I think perhaps more important was the rest of what I said. None of us may agree with you that it is as hopeless for you as you think....

But I know from experiencing being that low myself that nothing anybody can say would make you think any differently. So, again I say... if you TRULY feel that love will never be part of you life... why not instead focus on what you do to be happy without it? That is what I am doing these days. I do not mean to suggest it is easy, but it is SO much better than just deciding that your life will just be miserable 24/7/365 until the day you die.

You really never know. When you start learning to appreciate yourself more, it can lead to others seeing that positivity in you. It can lead to love even when you thought it was hopeless for you. But, again, even if not, at least you learn to be as happy as you can without it.

So, if you truly think there is nothing you can do to fix your situation as it relates to love... why not instead focus on you? Focus on loving you? Focus on finding as much happiness as you can even if it has to be without love. You just never know. Maybe life will see fit to prove you wrong after all.