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Alarm bells don't ring any louder than this!

Yeah, I was continuing to think about your predicament after I did the post. You've just answered my question as to why the mum is the babysitter. I think that relying on his ex so that you can...

That's tough. I'm also a carer for my ASD son, so I have some idea of what's going on. If I were in your partner's shoes, I'd take my son to a child psychologist (who specialises in ASD) to help...