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Thank you, Wakeup. I think you have summarized things well. I'm grateful to you and the others on here who have helped me get through these last few months. The saga is not over, but I feel like...

I should add:
4. I have not researched open relationships further, because the idea creeps me out. I don't think it would work for us.
5. At our counseling session this week we confirmed/agreed...

Thanks for your replies; sorry it has taken me a while to get back to this. To answer your questions, Wakeup:
1. I am still not sure about leaving or staying despite her refusal to have sex.
2....

Hello again. My original thread, "Dilemma," was closed, but I'd like to continue the discussion. It's been about 6 months now since I got the news, and nothing has really changed. We are still...

Wow, Woody, you've got me looking at this from another angle now. Thank you.

As it happens, this week my wife announced that she doesn't want to be married to me any more, but then she...

Lalalita- you say you've been there... what did you do? How does one channel anger into power without capsizing this very delicately balanced boat? My top priority isn't me or we--it's my kids.

I am not a doormat though I appreciate your advice. At present I am distancing myself a bit. I keep reminding myself that she does not think of me romantically. I am angry as you guessed. It's...

Belleann- you're probably right. Belle's- I've tried that line of questioning and the answer has basically been her saying that it's impossible for me to turn her on... it's not what I do or don't...

Hi all. I thought I'd write an update after a few weeks of couples therapy, and see what people think. First, I want to thank everyone for writing--it's very helpful. I would hit the "thank you"...

Hi again. Thank you all again for helping me think this through. Marriage counseling appt. #3 was yesterday, and it went better than #2. We talked about the awkwardness we've both felt during any...

Update from tonight's couples therapy: debaser, rest77, and others seem to be on track with my wife's attitude. She is actively considering separation as an option, and it seems she is letting this...

Yes, we started seeing a marriage counselor (not sex counselor) last week. Next appt. is Friday.

Michelle, in post #16, 2nd paragraph, you describe how my parents handled it with me--clear,...

I am grateful to you all for sharing your thoughts. I could be wrong, but my sense is that my wife is not really sure what she wants. It may prove impossible to stay together due to sexual...

Anyone think her feelings toward me might change? Any advocates for staying married despite difficulty based on maintaining the commitment we made at the wedding?

You folks ask good questions that I have a hard time answering. On the open marriage front I guess I'd say it's not totally out of the question, but I'd say less than 5% chance that we'd do it. I...

Not 50s... her proposal is never. Not talking about just staying together until the kids are grown... talking about staying married permanently with no sex. I admit, it sounds ludicrous, but this...

Thanks for these ideas. We did actually start our first session of counseling today. Not sure where it will lead to, of course, but I guess it's better than doing nothing. Please feel free to keep...

Hi-

I have a dilemma and I would like to know what others would do. The situation is this: married 12 years, have 2 kids (7 and 9), wife recently told me that she's never been attracted to me,...