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The idea of girl-girl idea appeals to her as a fantasy, but has said she would absolutely not want to participate in in real life - which I'm absolutely fine with. The voyeuristic thing of watching...

At present my wife & I are in relationship therapy due to my obsessing over the need to recreate a memorable voyeuristic experience from my late teens. Prior to this, and for a long period...

My wife has the same problem with me; growing up in a house with 5 other people, I learned early on to keep quiet whilst indulging in any solo pleasures. This tendancy to not vocalise just carried...

Had 2 partners (1 and two halves!); I lost my virginity to my first girlfriend, despite her being wildly unenthusiastic about sex altogether. This was subsequently explained to me years later when I...

Have you considered this from every angle and every eventuality, not just the idealised sequence of events that plays in your head? What if she objects to the suggestion and it leads to it being an...

If penetration feels like a natural extension of the making out you're doing at the moment, then you're probably ready for it. As long as you trust him enough to both take your time, to stop if it's...

What he said - all true. Signed a Red Blooded Male

@Julygirl

Have you and your Beau seen the film Secretary? James Spader & Maggie Gylenhall? Spanking plays a pretty central role in the film, and rather than emphasising the 'unusual' side of the...

@Julygirl

Just ask him straight out! I wound up asking my wife if I could spank her (amongst other things) over the weekend and got into a right state beforehand, wondering if she'd see me in some...

Well, for anyone still following this sorry tale of woe, we've had the conversations and blow me if they weren't remarkably positive! I'm typing whilst slightly the worse for drinks so apologies for...

True. Flirting is one thing, outright propositioning and subsequently accepting is another.

@originalsince85:

No you're not alone, and from my own experience (& therapy!) you're beau's experience is remarkably common - certainly was with mine where I'd had a couple of prior girlfriends...

If she's still quite young then possibly; I was my wife's first and only boyfriend prior to our getting married, and leaving aside our own personal circusmstance, it took a great deal of time for her...

Is she responsive at all sexually? Does she 'enjoy her own company' to be circumspect? If so, does she seem relaxed when you're together intimately? And if so, are you spending lots (and I mean LOTS)...

Thanks for the info. I can't say the prospect of finding out fills me with glee after what turned out to be years of therapy the first time around, nor is it to say that she'll actually consent. We...

Ammi00 - It's ok, I understand you're not trying to be mean :)

You're right in that she's not that into sex; she enjoys it when we do do something but without my own desire to do something I...

Reasonably serious kinks yes, although nothing extreme - I know it;s all relative though. One persons mild kink is anothers unacceptably extreme one.

Have told her. We're discussing it all. No intention of living with regrets - I know fine well that if the situaton goes on unchecked then I will regret it and I'll become a thoroughly unlikeable...

The issue was ultimately identified as vaginismus,. In most cases there is a cause that can be pinpointed; abuse earlier in life, conditioning whilst growing up (being told that sex is dirty etc). In...

Beautifully put!

My own take is that you've hit lucky this time (assuming "ready to go again 5-30 minutes after the first time and several times in a row" is what you want/enjoy) rather than being unlucky before...

I think you're right and truthfully I don't think I can without being unhappy and unfulfilled. So it follows that the next move is going to involve further comprramising and heartache for one or both...

The latter. Sex is good, partially on account of it being so hard won through therapy, but ultimately nowhere near as frequent as I'd like nor even close to the kinks I enjoy and would like to try....

Hi,

First time poster here, so be gentle!

We're both married and in our late thirties having been together since our early twenties. Originally my wife had seriously problems with the physical...