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Type: Posts; User: starbuck

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  1. Replies
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    I don't think he's acting irrationally. You seem...

    I don't think he's acting irrationally. You seem to have the assumption that since he was an ass during your breakup, that somehow he should be grateful that you want to reconnect. It doesn't always...
  2. It's clear your infatuation with John is bad for...

    It's clear your infatuation with John is bad for you. Not only is it one-sided, but you seem to see him as a damaged man that you can "fix." Read the stickied "Shining Knight" thread here on the...
  3. It's fairly common for people to enter their...

    It's fairly common for people to enter their twenties without ever having had a girlfriend or boyfriend. This question gets asked quite a bit.

    Lying about your past relationships is NOT the...
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    She's not confused about what she wants. She is...

    She's not confused about what she wants. She is just not ready to limit her options by dating one person. This is what the whole "finding myself" spiel means.

    Just let her know that you'll be...
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    I think that this double standard is re-enforced...

    I think that this double standard is re-enforced culturally. In pop culture, when a woman hits a man, often it's treated like a joke. Did you ever see those pictures of Tiger Woods photoshopped so...
  6. Thread: Did I Cheat?

    by starbuck
    Replies
    54
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    3,170

    Two words: Mrs. Robinson. Find a hot, smart woman...

    Two words: Mrs. Robinson. Find a hot, smart woman about eight to ten years older than you. She'd probably not want you to be her boyfriend, but might want to have some fun for a while.
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    3,474

    This seems like an evasive answer to me. Of...

    This seems like an evasive answer to me. Of course, he isn't going anywhere. He's getting steady sex from you.

    And now there are pairs of ladies undies lying around his room? Seems like he's...
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    691

    I think working on your self-esteem is the key...

    I think working on your self-esteem is the key here. You know you're good enough for her right? If you don't, you need to get to that place. I think you need to own your happiness.
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    I agree with ftm in that someone who watches porn...

    I agree with ftm in that someone who watches porn obviously has some kind of a sex drive. But a different kind of sex drive. He favors pleasuring himself with no real intimacy involved. The question...
  10. Thread: Did I Cheat?

    by starbuck
    Replies
    54
    Views
    3,170

    It's naughty behavior, but I wouldn't call it...

    It's naughty behavior, but I wouldn't call it cheating per se. It's borderline though...you're flirting with the boundaries.

    By the way, I asked my husband if this was cheating and he said, "If...
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    When I said that she doesn't seem mature enough,...

    When I said that she doesn't seem mature enough, I meant in age and experience. I knew that dating a guy with two teenage girls would not have worked for a twenty-something me. I would have found it...
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    I don't have an issue with the practice of...

    I don't have an issue with the practice of swinging, especially if both parties know each other, and there is a high amount of trust in everyone. It's not for me, of course, but I don't see anything...
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    2,599

    How is my opinion unrealistic? The OP deserves...

    How is my opinion unrealistic? The OP deserves some credit for having the self awareness it takes to know that dating a man with kids would be problematic for her. However, she chose to disregard her...
  14. Poll: Who is feeding you all the women's lib, PC,...

    Who is feeding you all the women's lib, PC, sensitive new age guy stuff, OP?

    I don't really think it's women.
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    2,599

    You sound very young and naive, Jasmine These...

    You sound very young and naive, Jasmine

    These people have two completely different sets of priorities. I think she's in over her head right now, and shouldn't be dating a man with kids. A...
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    2,599

    I'm curious as to why you set aside your previous...

    I'm curious as to why you set aside your previous "deal-breakers" for this man. If kids and an age gap were things you specifically knew would complicate things for you, why did you compromise?
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    Perhaps your fears of not being able to get a job...

    Perhaps your fears of not being able to get a job there are valid. Can you do some research on the education job market there? If there seem to be open jobs there, then you can rest easy on that...
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    If it bothers you this much now, then multiply...

    If it bothers you this much now, then multiply that by ten and that's how it will feel in your relationship. There will be a huge chunk of her life that you won't want to know anything about, and I...
  19. The problem with a mismatching libidos is that...

    The problem with a mismatching libidos is that sex drive is something that's hard to force. He very likely cares about you emotionally, but if his drive is low and there is nothing happening...
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    She's still pining over you, and seems to have...

    She's still pining over you, and seems to have expectations that go beyond a casual friendship. I think being friends with her is only going to keep pissing you off.

    I say cut her loose as well.
  21. Ok, a couple of things: First of all, I...

    Ok, a couple of things:

    First of all, I wouldn't view therapy as strictly a way to get her to see things your way. Embrace it as a tool that will help you change your dynamics and give you the...
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    I dunno, Fras, she seems to be confusing this...

    I dunno, Fras, she seems to be confusing this feeling of being underappreciated with general doubts about the relationship. They're two separate things, but I don't think she's seeing them this way....
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    1,135

    When she says these things to you about being...

    When she says these things to you about being incompatible, do they come out of the blue? Or after arguments?
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    I would challenge this sort of thinking right...

    I would challenge this sort of thinking right here. You're enamoured with him, but don't let it cloud your perspective. I'm willing to be he's hardly perfect, and there are alot of better options for...
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    You're probably doing yourself a favor by...

    You're probably doing yourself a favor by distancing yourself from this person. Someone who needs this much attention is going to find it hard to be satisfied in a committed relationship.

    You're...
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