Hey Kelsey ?

[Lyrum]

I know talking about these kind of things makes you uncomfortable, I just really want you to know how I feel. I don't mean to stress you out or put pressure on you in your future decisions, but I do want you to know where I stand at this moment.

I love you. I absolutely, 100%, am undeniably in love with you. I wish I could of seen how much I was hurting you, I wish I would of stopped being stubborn and been able to fix the problems on the spot- maybe then we would still be together. I've always loved you, and hurting you is the last thing I want to do. I feel like a real prick for the way I treated you for the majority of the relationship, I recognize what I was doing wrong, and I can't say that I'm sorry enough times.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't treat you like the princess you were. Your an absolutely incredible girl in every aspect.

Me on the other hand. I was naive, I thought you would be with me no matter what and I took our relationship for granted. I was comfortable with my lifestyle, comfortable with who I was. I think one of the main reasons the future scared me so much is because of the current state I was in. I liked where I was, I probably would of stayed in the spot forever had it not been for you pushing me. I felt that after all the progress we made early on in the relationship, I could now coast it out for awhile. Instead of pushing myself even further I decided to slack and feel bad for myself for the majority of the time. That's still no excuse as to why I treated you the way I did- I have no excuse for the way I treated you.

It's been almost two months now that we've been apart from each other. Feels like it's been longer, a lot longer. Everyday seems like an eternity and I can only cross my fingers knowing that we're going to talk to each other before we fall asleep. Talking to you always seems to relax me, it always has- you talked me out of a panic attack that I didn't think I was going to escape without jumping through the glass door wall. We're never short of things to talk about when we do talk, I've always loved how we can get into deep conversations, I don't know if I could ever run out of things to say while talking to you and I would listen to you for forever as long as you kept talking.

I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry that it came to this.

I know you want me to try out new things, and continue to make progress and I will. I can promise you that. I've learned so much in this time we've been apart, it's really unbelievable, and I know your proud of me. That makes me feel good, real good. These two months might be a blessing in disguise.

You said you wanted me to see other girls, maybe there's a girl out there more compatible for me ? I know I'm not very experienced with relationship, but I know something special when I see it. I have no drive or desire to get into a relationship with another girl, sure I've seen girls that are attractive, and I've also had a handful of girls come onto me in which I'd politely send them away. That isn't what I want. I don't want any other girl at this point- but you. Your the girl I want to be with, your the girl I'm going to fight for, try my best for, sacrifice for and love with every bit of my heart.

And I want to be yours. I want to be by your side, through the good and bad. You said I've become more of a man ever since the breakup, and I feel the same way. I feel that I've matured and am now in a much better mindset because of what happened. I love seeing that you're making progress as well, living on your own and taking care of yourself, buying your own groceries and being totally responsible for yourself. We're both doing great, and I don't want that to stop. Regardless of what happens I'm never going to stop growing and learning, I want to be the amazing person that I know I can be. Right now I'm feeling good, feeling like I can do just about anything. I know that with you by my side I can accomplish even more. With both of us in this state I feel that together we would be unstoppable.

And I want to be there with you. I want to be the man by your side, who's going to love and support you regardless of what happens. I want you to be proud of me, because I'm sure as hell proud of you. I want to be someone who you would want to be with.

I would give anything for you baby, and you might not be ready to make your decision just yet and I don't want you to make it until you're completely ready.

I want you. I want to be with you, I want to love you and I want you to love me back.

I love you Kelsey.

[nahNiku]

Oh, that is so nice