Hey all, I'll just give some info about myself before I start. I'm 22 years old and I have been in love maybe twice.
The first time was with a high school sweet heart, we both liked each other but didn't know it for about 6 months. When we both found out, it was like the stars were just all around us making everything so incredibly amazing. After about a year and 3 months, we knew things were not going to work out because of the fights we were having. The sex life was just downhill, maybe once a week if both of us were lucky. I was a senior and working two jobs while trying to figure out what I was going to do after high school, she was a junior and going through SAT's as well as applying for colleges. So I ended it, it was pretty horrible for both of us, but I felt like there was nothing to hold on to. She said "i knew we were done but why did you end it like that?" We got in a fight, she started swearing while i tried to calm her down, until she started calling me names and all that stuff...so that was the end basically.
Second time, was a time I think I was in love. I met a couple of girls from my college, actually they used that "can we study with you" line on me. So yeah, I hung out with them and all, I fell in love with one of them, she treated me great and things were just again perfect for me. I couldn't get her out of my mind and all that stuff, always had my cell phone out, hoping she might call or text me. Just had the amazing butterflies that I had got the first time, when I first fell in love with my ex. But I guess another guy came into the picture and maybe he suited her better. The problem is that we began to talk for 4-5 months, and then BAM! I was basically tossed aside. This was about two years ago.
Now, since then I have not seen or dated any girls. In fact I find it harder for me to approach or even talk to girls. It actually kinda frightens me, to think that I may never get that feeling again...I guess you can call it a blissful feeling. I mean two years is a very long time to have not dated one single person. I don't know where to go from here on out, I guess thats why I keep myself busy with school and work. It's not that I can't talk to girls, I find myself attracted to many and I start up conversations, but the ones I talk to somehow all have boyfriends.
Sometimes, I don't think I can trust love, or fate, or have hopeful thinking, its really hard especially when i'm about to graduate in spring of 08...Any advice? Useful & meaningful advice...I was browsing the forum and this one member just hates on everyone lol.
Thanks for reading!