I am 29 years old and he is 19. He is my classmate and we got close during the last month of my stay in school (I was graduating and about to return to my hometown). He first showed interest in me and as days went by, we became close. At my age, I never had a boyfriend. The closest to a relationship I had was a few months before in the same school with a foreign student who just misled and used me. I opened that up to him and he knew I was deeply hurt. He, too, has never had a real relationship. The closest one he had was with a girl who took him for granted (sort of LDR).

One time while watching a movie he asked me to do a pinky swear with him, he said, "promise you'll come back". And I did promise. Originally my plan was to find work back in my place, but now I consider finding work in his province for a chance to be with him, even if it means sacrificing being away from my family and friends. Soon, he would always remind me of that promise, and told me there's no backing out. I said yes.

He eventually became flirty and touchy with me, but he won't actually say what he feels about me, so I was still unsure. On the outside, I kind of hold back my feelings and was hesitant to let him in, but deep inside I was already falling. Aside from being very talented and good-looking, he has a very good heart.

One night he had a hypothetical question that, if a guy likes me but for some reason we can't be together that time, but he promises that he won't look at other girls, just me, and that the only thing that could bring us together is our work but we don't know when, will I wait for him? I am really not good at answering hypothetical questions like that and I was quite overwhelmed with it, so my answer was no, I won't. His reaction was weird, he said he feels bad for the guy. Later on, I realized that maybe he was just projecting himself as that guy. And my answer maybe upset him, which I didn't want to happen.

Closer to my last day, we held hands, kissed and cuddled. But still, he won't confess what he feels.

I messaged him "bye "on the day of my departure. I didn't mean that to be a final goodbye because I wanted to keep my promise of coming back to him after a while when I find work. He replied with this: "Dont be sad. There are many more reasons for you to be happy and you should focus on those things, right?"

I asked, "what do you mean, is this goodbye?"

He replied "yeah, I guess so". He said LDR is not ideal for us because it's hard. He said even if we only had little time together, it was enough to make him fall for me. Maybe someone else out there deserves my love and maybe now, he doesn't. He says he's sorry he took a chance on me even if it was clearly not good for the both of us. He said I deserve someone more than him and that he's not capable of giving me the love I deserve.

I haven't responded to that. I want to but I still can't make up my mind what to say. I don't understand why he always reminded me to not forget about our promise, say he misses me and kiss me the night before, and all of a sudden just take everything back? How can he give up that easily, when we haven't even actually gone LDR? Also, I have a high chance of coming back and getting work in his place because I'm getting help from some friends, and he knows that.

I don't know if I should still respond to him, or wait for him to message me. But I want him to know that he is wrong in thinking he doesn't deserve me. A matter of fact, he is the most awesome man and beautiful soul I've met. He is enough and for once in my life, I found a man that's really worth the fight.That I'm willing to take the chance and risks with him because he is all worth it.

I don't know how to tell him that, in a way not pressuring him to do LDR with me. Maybe I am selfish too for not thinking about all the odds. I am confused, I understand that it could be difficult for us (not even mentioning our age gap). But what if this could be the best thing that could ever happen to us? I don't want to just let it go that easily without saying something and giving it a fight.