This guy and I were good friends and there was a spark between us. We were 'friends' but if we were sitting together on a couch or walking side by side we did it closely. After rumors went around that we were something more I freaked out and denied my feelings telling him "I hope this stuff doesn't come between our friendship" and he started dating someone after I said I had been hanging out with another guy. I asked him who the girl was when we all went out one day and he said "she's just a friend" and as soon as I mentioned I was hanging out with somebody too, he was dating her a week later.
We don't talk anymore because I completely dropped off. I turn down invites to hang out, and my unresolved feelings for him are killing me. I want to tell him why I denied it, that I always liked him and just wanted to say it in my own time and not have gossiping people force it out of me, but he has been dating her for 6 months, and I feel it's not the right thing to do.
But do I owe it to him? He might've had more in mind than friends with me, but I shut him down before he had a chance and he moved on. I could've been open about my feelings while he was still single, but it's too late now, right? I am leaving this place soon and I feel I can't go with so much left unsaid and I don't know how else to stop thinking about him but to tell him. I feel like its unfair to the girl he's seeing but other people have told me its not her choice, it's his.
He still looks at me the way he did when he was single. Starry-eyed, it's hard to explain. At a friends wedding a few months ago I was dancing and he was sitting and watching me though he was with his girlfriend and he chose to sit where he could see me, he was always looking over at me. I feel like he still has feelings but gave up on me. In hindsight he was very caring and attentive and we stared at each other constantly.
I am so in love with him. There are moments where I feel over it then it hits me out of nowhere how much I miss him and its unbearable. I am staying away to try and heal but the missing is getting worse. I never want him to think I walked away because I didn't care. I feel like I need to tell him why. He's close to his sister who never talked to me but she sent me a message out of nowhere the other day to see where I was. He doesn't contact me. And I hate to think he felt lead on by me, either. If you were in my shoes, would you have to let them know or live forever with "what if?"