Hi all, sorry for being long but necessary for perspective.
I'm hoping some of you can offer some advice on some issues that have popped up recently between my gf and I. We have been dating almost 6 months, she says she loves me and wants to marry me one day. She says I'm different than anyone she's ever been with. I believe her and we spend some nights at my house and some at hers. In other words were almost always together when not working. So things have been really good.
About a month or so ago, we were at a tailgate party and she mentioned that her sister had invited her exbf to the party. I knew that her sister and this guy are good friends so it wasn't totally surprising. She mentioned that they hung out a lot so I was like OK. The whole time I was there with him it was very uncomfortable, I had a horrible vibe about him. There was lots of tension and I let her know that I didn't like it. We agreed to avoid that in the future.
Then a couple weeks ago her family had a large party and of course her sister invited him as her guest. He spent half the night glaring at me and tried to give my gf an inappropriate hug, reaching down trying to grab her and she pulled away from him. He took off as I had caught wind of this or I would have addressed it with him directly. Her sister and her share an apartment and her sister let him crash there that night. My gf came home with me that night so she wasn't there. I wasn't cool with this regardless.
A few days later my girlfriend finds a little note on her night stand. A vulgar note saying he wants to make out with her and talking about giving her oral sex. She tells me, I kinda fly off the handle and warn her to never bring him around me or us again. She says it's her sister and I tell her to tell her sister to grow up and we get in a fight about it. She says that he's a loser and that I shouldn't be threatened by him. I tell her I'm not threatened, it's a distraction that I'm not going to deal with.
About a week later were up watching TV at her place and he Facebook messages her saying she should come over and they can do whatever you want. She doesn't respond and blocks him. I again get very angry, I feel like she's blowing it off and not upset about this as she should. She won't confront her sister about it nor does it seem like she's willing to tell this guy to f*ck off.
I told her that I'd handle it next time I see him since nobody has the balls to put him in his place. BTW, we're in our early 30's with good busy careers and I feel like I'm should be past this kind of nonsense. I do love her and trust her but also want to protect our relationship. He needs to learn some respect and boundaries. It's really a strange situation as this guy is her sisters best friend which in itself is weird to me.
How do I deal with this?