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Thread: Long distance "open" relationship

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
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    Long distance "open" relationship

    So just a little backround story. Recently a young girl came to my work and caught my eye almost immediately. I have a bit of a tendency to flirt with most of the girls in my work place, but I try to avoid taking it any further if I can. I started talking with her a bit and we definitely clicked beyond casual flirting. We started to hangout a couple weeks ago with mutual friends and things have already escalated a bit. Even people at my work are starting to notice, which doesn't usually happen.

    She avoided telling me she had a boyfriend as long as possible (even though I already knew) and since it has come up she has mentioned that they are in an open relationship. The guy is away at college somewhere now and this girl has basically told me everything possible to make it seem like its ok for me to make a pass at her.

    I am kind of torn on what to do at this point. There are a ton of red flags here, but because I am so rarely this infatuated by a girl, I don't seem to care. The first major problem I see is that I am just some temporary filler while her boyfriend is gone, which I think I would be ok with, but how can I really know? The second problem is age difference... I am 9 years older. The third thing I am struggling with is I have been through a long distance relationship and basically what I would be doing has been done to me. Not fun.

    Should I trust a girl that has nothing nice to say about her boyfriend? Other then this small detail (sarcasm) I have really enjoyed the time I've spent with her. I definitely am not gonna just ask her out because to me that seems even more shady then just hanging out and hooking up...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
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    I wouldn't even go there! Seems to me as if she wants to make her cake and eat it to. You really don't want to be caught up in all that because to be in a open relationship they must love each other a lot that they can't let go but know it wouldn't work with the distance so if it was me I wouldn't be able to see a future with this person..
    Good luck

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    I definitely am not gonna just ask her out because to me that seems even more shady then just hanging out and hooking up...
    what a half-assed personal boundary... pffft. \

    Anyway, she's in a relationship with a man wherein they have both agreed that sex outside of the union is acceptable to both of them. You are the third wheel here. I suggest you just bang her and then get out without any bonding rituals because you're likely to be the one that is going to end up chasing and chasing her until YOU fall in love when she loves someone else. I say that because if you were the casual sex type that could actually just handle this for what it is, there would be no need for you to run it by a forum full of strangers before you started humping away. No "hanging out." Just keep it to "hooking up."
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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