Good for you J.P
Remember, when you start to get a little down, get a grip. Your doing the right thing here. This upcoming Holiday is just what you need. Put some distance between you and all you have endured. Meet some new people, relax, rejoice because this is the next stage of your life, your way...
and know this. If she does have someone over, it is to bother you. So know it's a play to hurt you and don't allow it to too much. Sure, it'll hurt, of course it will but it is a manipulation tactic. Don't give it too much or your fueling her fire and letting her control and dang John, too many years you've been under her thumb. That's not what a relationship of love is about.
I wish for you to meet a lady who wants to know your girls, who encourages Family and friend time, who doesn't try to control you by making you feel bad about yourself; some one who doesn't put you down but encourages you to fly
and when your feeling alone and the hopeless doubts dubiously return, remember all of us, your anonymous cyber space amigos who cheered you on and confirmed your need and right to a Life. Your doing the right thing. everything will be alright; just get on that plane and start the first day of the rest of your life.