Advice please..

[anonymous26]

Right I will get this posted one way or another, if it's the last thing I do, this is my third attempt... So anyway I'll start from the beginning, it be great to hear what people think and hopefully get some advice on what you guys think I should do.. It would also be cool to get some man thoughts on the matter, I mean you probably know what this guy is thinking? Or not I don't know. But either way it be great to hear what your people think, and advice, greatly welcome...

Basically, about eight years ago I met this guy at college, he was in a relationship and that was that, anyway we both left went our own ways- lost contact etc. When about five years lately I noticed he was online and decided to say Hi. Not expecting him to reply. But he did! We had a catch up though this social network site and he suggested to meet up, which we arranged for the following week. It was weird, I hadn't seen this guy for at least five years and even then we'd always had other mates around us, this was going to be the first time where it would just be us two. Yeah I was nervous, five years is a long time and a lot can change in that space and time. Anyway I had nothing to worry about the afternoon was lovely. We had a catch up over hot chocolates (he paid, I offered but he insisted)..

After meeting up we continued to text each other one day he mentioned he wanted to go to London at the weekend, and I didn't really look to much into the text but when I was talking to a friend about it she said it sounded like he was hinting.. Took me a while to realise this but in the end I said I'd go with him and we had a great time, we went round some of the sites, had a laugh and a joke. Talked about some of the stuff we have in common which was linked to London etc and then we went for something to eat. When we finished, I offered to pay or at least go halls but he took the bill before I could even see it, and paid before I could even have another say in the matter..

After London we met up again in a town not that fair from us (not my local town) I had recently passed my driving test and got my new car and was just getting used to it all, he knew I was quite nervous driving and offered to come and pick me up, even thou I believed it would be out of his way to do so. Anyway I drove and we met there, we walked around, talked about stuff, and had lunch (which he again refused my offer to pay) he eventually walked me to my car when it came to leaving...

Since these meet up we've continued to meet up in local areas or texted each other. We've got so much in common it's weird and we always seem to find something to talk about (75% of the time it turning into something dirty) yes I would say we flirt quite a bit. And I would say he's quite caring. He's always offering to help me if I need it with my current college work, and has offered to lend me any books which may help me in my courses. (We are in the same profession)..

He's always been going on about this city he's like obsessed with, and for my birthday we planned to go with a few mates, only my mates ended up pulling out and it ended up just being the two of us. Which was nice, and he got to show me around this great city, which I fell in love with. However I didn't mention it was my birthday and he got quite upset about it when he realised. I apologised but he still seemed to feel guilty he hadn't got me anything...

Since then we've been back to the city where we had a discussion about the universities there, as one of them is one of my top two.. He was telling me all about it and the accommodations which would probably suit me, however he then went on to saying if he had his own place I was quite welcome to flat/house share, which led him on to say even if he didn't have his own place it would give him more of a reason for him to look for his own place...

We continue to talk and text quite a bit since we last met up and we seem to get on so well, I'm just nervous about saying to him how I feel. He's mentioned about his past break up and how it's holding him back from moving on etc. But there's these little hints which makes me think he likes me but isn't ready etc... I just want to help him, I love him and I'm scared that if I say something how would it affect us.. I don't want to loose what I have and scare him away... Am I looking at the hints in the wrong way? Are they hints at all?

I think I've mentioned everything which I think would be of some use to give an idea, it be great to know what people think.. Any advice would be good.. Thanks

[Panama]

Heee likes you it is so obvious and he feels the same way towards you and likewise he is too shy to tell, either you will let him know how you feel, maybe easier if you go to some bar together and get drunk, if not i'm sure time will get you together.

[anonymous26]

Thanks for your reply. I just wanted to see what others think of the situation, I keep thinking it's obvious but then I tell my self not to be stupid and why would someone like him like someone like me in that way.. I think he probably knows how I feel about him, he's always saying how he's not ready and he should be over the past and everything.. And hints that's he's single- saying it's a good job he's single for this and that reason. and it makes me think maybe he doesn't want to have a relationship with anyone or maybe it is just his past building up and torturing himself because of it all.. I keep thinking how things maybe different when he's moved away and how our relationship could change... But I'm scared to be let down, I guess.
What should I do? and how will I know when the times right??

[woody]

Yes, sounds like he digs you. I wouldn't keep allowing him to pay for all the outings though.
Follow your gut instincts. Stop over analyzing every little thing. This guy has hinted he'd like you to move in with him right? Right. So what's your worry? That your developing feelings for him yet are unsure of his for you? I should think he's being quite clear. No need to label things so early on. You must allow a connection to breath and just do what comes naturally.
Stop second guessing yourself. You two like each other, get along, so, keep it simple. Don't over crowd the process before it even reaches full fruition.

You'll just know when the time strikes right. You'll feel it inside and nothing will be pushed, it will simply just flow.

[anonymous26]

Yes, sounds like he digs you. I wouldn't keep allowing him to pay for all the outings though.

thanks, it's nice to know what others think, and I agree with not allowing him to always pay, the last two times we've met up I've managed to pay for us both. (Yey) and besides it's not that I've allowed him he refused me to pay when ever we've met up.. I had offered to pay or go halves on many occasions and he would always refuse..

This guy has hinted he'd like you to move in with him right? Right. So what's your worry?

yeah, but that's if I decided to go to uni to the place he's moving too, I have to top choices at the moment, one being where he's moving.. I'm not sure what I'm really worried about as such just the thought of what I'm picking up on are actually hints, and what I believe suggest him liking me, what if I'm over looking into it all, and there aren't hints at all?

That your developing feelings for him yet are unsure of his for you?

I don't know! I like the fact I have feelings for him. He's a great guy, I just wished he believed in himself a little more and let me help him. Yes I am unsure of his feelings. I feel like he's confusing and hiding his feelings from himself because of his ex..

I should think he's being quite clear. No need to label things so early on. You must allow a connection to breath and just do what comes naturally.
Stop second guessing yourself. You two like each other, get along, so, keep it simple. Don't over crowd the process before it even reaches full fruition.

thank you..

[woody]

You are most welcome.
I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide to do.

[anonymous26]

Thank you.