Should I be suspicious?

[ogieogie]

Hi guys,
So I've been with my boyfriend for just under two years now.
I've noticed that he seems to have lost a lot of interest in me. He calls me things that aren't very nice sometimes when we argue. Sure I'll sometimes call him a tw*t or something minor, but he goes full on out with it, calling me things such as a psychopath, tells me I need help, calls me a bitch, he says I'm a horrible person, he calls me a freak when he knows full well I was bullied with that insult when I was younger. This isn't what I'm here to talk about.
He called me by his ex's pet name earlier today. Now, it wasn't a general pet name such as 'baby' or 'sweetheart', it was a particular item of food which is quite weird and is not used as a pet name. He called me this and I asked him not to, as he and I know about the situation with his ex. But he gets really really defensive about it, denies that he called her that and then when I prove it to him, he tells me to f*ck off. I've been paranoid about him and her for months. I've caught him staring at her before, staring and checking her out. He denies this but it was obvious. He hates saying her name, obviously if you were trying to deny having feelings for someone you'd hate to say their name. I think he's called me her name before, but I didn't quite catch it properly. She has a distinguishable name.
He checks out every girl on the street, he hates me cuddling him, he doesn't like having sex with me anymore and when I see him he's always moody with me or he's on his phone, ipod or xbox.
I'm not any of these things he says, I have a large circle of friends whereas he does not, probably due to the way he treats me.
I'm in love with this guy. Somehow. My life would be nothing without him. I have no close friends to rely on, I don't particularly get on well with my family. I feel like he knows I need him and he likes to play on it.
So sorry about the huge block of text, your kindness of reading and replying is greatly appreciated.

[michelle23]

The first thing you need to do is change your mindset and attitude. Just because your not close to family or have not got close friends, doesn't mean you settle for an abusive asshole that you cannot trust. There are better men out there and you need to stop enabling his bad behavior and tell him to **** off.

You don't need him. You need someone who treats you with respect and has empathy for your feelings. Your allowing him to treat you this way and by staying, you are giving him no reason to change.

You are your own worst enemy here. Where are your personal boundaries and self respect? A guy like this wouldn't last 5minutes with me but your still there 2years later.

[shortyrock]

I feel like he knows I need him and he likes to play on it.

Darlin, you hit the nail on the head right there. This is a huge, blaring, sign of an abusive relationship. He's not making you happy. You know that, deep down. You just feel reliant on him, like you *need* him. You don't. Trust me.

[TablesandChairs]

Your mindset is your biggest problem - 'I'm nothing without him'. Really? When did this tw*t become God? He isn't treating you well - he pervs on other women, he has no time for you, calls you gross names...it's very hard to come up with advice that promotes you two remaining together.

[ogieogie]

Where are your personal boundaries and self respect? A guy like this wouldn't last 5minutes with me but your still there 2years later.

Honestly he hasn't always been like this. Until a few months ago, he was amazing. Plus I've always liked him, ever since I wasn't even a teenager. He's the only person I've liked, the only thing I've known to direct my feelings toward.

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Darlin, you hit the nail on the head right there. This is a huge, blaring, sign of an abusive relationship. He's not making you happy. You know that, deep down. You just feel reliant on him, like you *need* him. You don't. Trust me.

Thankyou. It's just so hard to let go. Please see how I replied to other answered for a better understanding.

[smackie9]

Honestly he hasn't always been like this. Until a few months ago, he was amazing. Plus I've always liked him, ever since I wasn't even a teenager. He's the only person I've liked, the only thing I've known to direct my feelings toward.

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You "like him" you don't "love him". You are too dependent on him and he is taking advantage of that. I agree you don't NEED him. You can live without him. Everyone learns to move on to happy more productive lives when they get out of dead end relationship.

Why is he treating you like crap? because he is too much of a coward so he is trying to force you to breakup with him. I bet money on it there won't be much fuss out of him when you do. He is probably seeing someone else behind your back, but doesn't want to look like the bad guy, so he would take the easy way out by making your life miserable so you will leave.

[michelle23]

Again so what if he was "amazing" before?? Hes not now. Hes abusive, uncaring, untrustworthy, most likely cheating, lying and has lost interest in you. All of those things alone are deal breakers and a sure sign to get out. You must have a very low sense of your own self worth to make excuses for him and tolerate this. If you want others to respect you then you need to respect you and being a doormat is simply not an option.

You need to grow a backbone, be strong and end this toxic, dysfunctional mess of a relationship with this pathetic excuse of a man and realize you are worth more. Get some counselling, look ip tips online to boost your self esteem, look up signs of a healthy relationship and set your standards higher. Research co-dependency and then setting personal boundaries that you will not allow a lover to cross. You set the rules, he breaks them-he goes.. very simple

You have a lot to work on if you want to achieve success in love and healthy relationships. Men do not treat women this way unless they know they can get away with it so he obviously thinks you are a twit he can walk all over with no consequences. Time to shake yourself and show him you are no fool

stop this now

[Wakeup]

I'm in love with this guy.

What makes you be "in love" with him? He does nothing but disrespect you, verbally abuse you and make you feel that you're lesser. Really... what makes you?