I was in a 6-year relationship that ended 6 months ago. I've only recently started dating again. Last month I met a guy on a dating site. We talked for 6 weeks before meeting in person. He lives an hour away and was taking care of his sick grandfather, so those were part of why it took us awhile to get together.
We had a really nice time on our date. We connected right away and talked the whole time, it wasn't uncomfortable at all. Afterwards I said I had a nice time and that I'd like to see him again. Immediately he responded with an excuse. Said he'd like to but he wasn't able to get out very much while taking care of his grandfather, but that we would "figure something out".
The day after our date, his grandfather passed away. I texted him a couple times and got no response, so I deleted his number and planned to never contact him again. I thought disappearing was rude and I didn't want to reward his bad behavior with attention. Almost two weeks late he reappeared, said he'd been busy taking care of things after his grandfather's death and said he was sorry for being out of touch. I felt kinda dumb and selfish, so I decided to keep talking to him.
A week before my birthday, I asked if he'd like to come out with me to celebrate and again he responds with an excuse. He said that sounded like fun and he *probably* could as long as his grandmother was okay by herself. I understood but it sounded promising so I got my hopes up. 3 days later he says he can't come because he got a new job.
So here's where I am now: I really like this guy, and I want to see him again. I've been trying for a month to go out with him again and all I've gotten are excuses. My question is, what do I do now? I was planning on asking him if he has plans for New Year's Eve and if he'd like to do something together. If I get another excuse, I think I should level with him, but I'm not sure what to say without sounding miffed.
I know he has a lot going on, and I'm not trying to sound selfish, but I am not looking for an occasional texting buddy, I need something real. I'm only confused because every time I think "this guy is just not interested in me" and I decide to move on and not talk to him, he reappears and sends me mixed signals. My girlfriend said I should just not talk to him, and I told her whenever I do that he starts talking to me again, and she said I should tell him to shut up unless he plans on asking me out again, haha.
I was thinking I should say something like, "It sounds like you're too busy to get together any time soon, and I like talking to you, but I want someone I can go out with. Hit me up when you get some free time." I'd really like a guy's POV on this. What should I do?