We both 19, she never wants sex while I do..

[Dronnik]

Hey, I've been in the relationship with my girlfriend for two years and two months now. We are both 19 and love each other, we shared everything together for the first time and she is my first girlfriend. My question is about sexual life. We started exercising oral sex after about 6 months of being in the relationship. And everything was going fine and well, in fact so good that I didn't really look forward to having sex. We agreed that we will have sex when we're both ready. Towards our second anniversary she kept telling me that we should do it etc. So on our second anniversary I have taken her to Hilton and then to restaurant and protested the room with candles and champagne and when it actually came to it, I hated it as it was too stressful with her being in pain. Or second time was only few days later and I have actually orgasmed this time and i lived the sensation, then we had it once more few days later. However we haven't had it for a month and one week now. She started going to university this year and she is saying that she's tired our not in mood. And I'm taking it really hard as I'm only seeing her 1-2 a week now and if course in sexually frustrated and want to release the tension. She complains that it's the only thing I want but I address her the problem that it's normal to want it. As average couple had sex 2-3 times a week. All I'm saying is that I want to make the most from seeing her as she lives hour and half away by public transport from me. But I don't understand her tiredness, I still have energy for her even after running marathon and playing two football matches in one day and I don't complain. In starting to thing that the problem is with me now, that I cannot make her orgasm. We tried to have sex today and I gave her oral sex until she orgasmed pretty massively as I involved some new tenchiques, then we moved on to sex and she was hurt at first still but then she started to enjoy it and I tried to make her orgasm as I thought this might be the problem. But then her sister gets home and we stop right before she was close to finish. Then before going sleep, I offered to carry on but she refused by saying she's tired and not in mood and I'm just left here hanging still sexually frustrated as I haven't orgasmed for quite some time now. I really liver and I find it really difficult with our different libido levels. What should I do? What's the problem? Does she not love me anymore? Is she cheating? What.. I'm just so stressed and wound up every time now.

[pcmaster]

Yes thats painful man. Who knows maybe shes cheating. But it could be that shes really too tired after university. Might take few months to adapt. You just have to brace yourself lol. Set a time limit. For example if shes not willing to do sex in two months then dump her and move on. You are young and shouldn't be frustrated sexually. I understand you love her and thats why its especially hard to stay without sex. But you should make it clear to her that you wont be waiting forever.

[smackie9]

You need to talk to her about it in a calm and concerned manner. Us guessing will only cause you more anxiety.

[yomamg]

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[michelle23]

It can hurt a girl the first 20 or so times as her body gets used to having sex. The best way to get over it is to just have lots of sex until her body can handle it.. foreplay is important and it sounds like you are doing that.

You should ask her what the problem is. Your young and in love. Sex shouldn't be such an issue. Ask her what can you both do to fix the problem together? If shes not interested in trying to make it better then I would end the relationship

[smackie9]

Just so you know, the majority of women cannot orgasm through penetration. Anyways, it's the fact you are putting so much pressure on her to have sex, which is making her feel guilty, and feel bad about herself. She can't help the way she feels and by you not being very supportive, is making the experience unsettling. She's not physically tired, she's tired of you pushing for it. Plus there is the issue about privacy which is stressful.

Girls are different when it comes to sex. You have to get them ready for it on an emotional level. You need to romance her, and make her feel appreciated as a person. You need to listen to what she is telling you...you just want to jump her bones which you visit.....she feels she is just being used for sex and the love and caring part has taken a backseat or should I say left out of the backseat.

Once you start having quality time with her, going out for a nice dinner, buy her flowers, write her some poetry or play her favorite song ,take her to a club or party, and have fun, she will start to get into the mood again, happy relaxed and want to satisfy her man.

Oh and please buy lube for her, maybe give her a massage, etc.