Is the relationship with a bad history likely to work?

[kp15]

Me and this guy were in an on and off relationship for 2 and a half years. We have been at the off stage for about 4 years now. Throughout these 4 years we have tried to work on working things out but we have never gotten back together. We however still have sex and spend time together sometimes. Throughout the 4 years, things will be really good sometimes. I mean just amazing and then there have been times where we argue and just can't get along at all and go weeks and months without talking. The good times probably last a 3 weeks to a month tops before we fall out again. Sometimes it'll only last a couple of days. He has done things in the past like call me out my name, be disloyal by messing around with other females, and sometimes when we do fall out, it is about something small but we won't talk for weeks. However, he can also be really sweet and goes out of his way for me from time to time. Recently he told me he wants us to work on getting back together. Im excited because this is the only man I've ever loved and I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him. However, in the back of my mind I know he hasn't changed overnight and I don't want history to continue to repeat itself.

To all readers I need opinions. Do you think this relationship is likely to work with such a rough past? Should I continue to try to work it with him or should I leave?

[Wakeup]

You are glorified **** buddies that get together to screw and hang for a bit wherein he leaves again once it starts to get stale or the two of you can't stand the site of each other once more.

Why do you think this is "love" and how on earth do you ever think that you'd be able to make this last past the new relationship energy sexual buzz when you haven't had extensive couples counselling and training in how to communicate?

You'd do well to rehab from your addiction to the off again on again sex and go zero contact then you ever would to try and make a stable relationship out of this. Once you're in each others company long enough for that new sex energy to dissipate he or you will be verbally (or worse) abusing one another.

If he wants to "work" on getting back together (why would he have to when you keep taking him back even when he has other sexual partners) then ask him to go with you to counselling ... see if he REALLY wants to get back together so that you can stand each other longer then 10 minutes.

[kp15]

So if it is just about sex, why would he go out of his way to say he wants to work on us getting back together when we were already having sex before he said this?

[Wakeup]

So if it is just about sex, why would he go out of his way to say he wants to work on us getting back together when we were already having sex before he said this?

Because he's a fvcking liar who tells you what you want to hear?
Because he's a fvcking douche bag who thinks by saying that he will change makes you believe that he will?
Because he's borderline personality disordered and his emotional maturity level is at that of a 9 year old so when you go away, he says things that will bring you back.
Because you give him more involved sex when you think he wants you wholly?

Shall I go on?

Point is, you two can not get along past the sex. That fact should be obvious to you.

[basilandthyme]

So if it is just about sex, why would he go out of his way to say he wants to work on us getting back together when we were already having sex before he said this?

Hon, it's just words. Actions are where the truth lies. What has he *done* to demonstrate that things will be different in future?