Time to move on?

[Seeking_Love]

So, I am in this situation. The rational part of my brain is saying that I am being a fool and over-dramatising for nothing but, whatever!

I like to write in point form, you will get the idea better.

What do you think? Has my time "expired" or am reading something that is not there.

* Met a girl on Tinder mid-November
* after a month of chatting, we met in person (note, it took awhile to meet because of my personal and academic requirements)
* date 1 December -- good
* date 2, a week after date 1, also went well. We went to a show together, did some christmas shopping together, and ate together. No "move" (Kiss) was attempted.
* date 3, a bit over a week later, went to the Cinema, I pulled a move, went in for a kiss and it is my impression that she jumped at the opportunity. We watched the film and we kissed again before we went into our own cars and went away.
* date 4 was scheduled for 4-5 days after date 3 but was re-scheduled.
* reschuled from his past sunday to Monday.
* she realised on Sunday night that she was going away on Monday until Thursday.
* she is away now but, we hardly speak and I feel it is because the "boil" has ended.
* even our conversations now (chats) feel "forced" and "awkward", I wonder if this is because I am imagining a problem when there really is not one.

[Everylemontree]

It seems that although she may like you, the kiss let her know that there just weren't sparks for her. Sounds like she gave it a few shots, and now may be unsure about whether or not to proceed. Personally, I live by a "**** yea" or "no" rule. I'm either totally into someone, or I'm not into them at all. I've dated a few people I felt lukewarm about and it never got better, and quite frankly they deserved to be with someone who was mutually excited about the relationship. It may be true that she's away, but i think you'd still feel the pull through text and whatnot even with postponed dates. My advice would be to move on - let her come to you if she wants to give it a shot - IF you're still available!

[TheEvilJester]

Do you still find yourself interested in her? From just the details you shared I wouldn't necessarily DEFINITELY say that the "sparks" are gone, so to speak. Though, it does sound like that could be the case. So, I'd say take the time apart to evaluate how you personally feel about the relationship. If you are not all that jazzed about it, then maybe it is time to move on after all. If you feel there could be a spark there, then don't necessarily assume she does not just because you had to postpone a date.

True, the early stage of a relationship is when you are usually most excited, so if there is a nonchalance about it, that may not be a good sign. Still, maybe she legitimately just had forgotten she was not available the day you planned your date. I guess if you do decide you might like to continue to pursue the relationship if she is still interested as well, then I'd say just proceed with caution. As Everylemontree said, take a step back and let her pursue you. If she does not, then that is your answer.

Otherwise, if you are finding that you aren't really all the excited for the relationship either, then maybe that is your decision right there. Either way, good luck.

[Wakeup]

You do know that "Tinder" is basically just a hook up site for casual sex, right? I think because you haven't yet done her, that she may be done with you?

What did it say on her profile about serious relationships?

[smackie9]

Like I tell everyone else, keep dating others and if she comes around then fine go out again. You don't owe her anything, not even commitment. You can go out and bang your ex if you want to.

IMO if they get flaky quickly move on and stop getting in touch with them, they know how to get a hold of you.

[Seeking_Love]

Thanks everyone. Either you're all pessimists (LOL) or the rational part of my brain is wrong.

Anyhow, I did meet her through Tinder, yes, but it did take us like 2-3 weeks to meet in person so I think that casual hookup is not on her mind. Also, she did explicitly tell me that when we met the first time (I also advised that I am not keen on a casual hookup anymore, I am seeking something more meaningful)

I will take a step back and let her do some chasing. If something comes out of it: great (I have dated a half-dozen girls in the past 6-7 months and this is the only one who I have not felt blase about at any stage, and one that I want to stick around long term). If nothing comes out of it, ah well. Time to move on.

Cheers in 2015 everyone.

[Wakeup]

(I also advised that I am not keen on a casual hookup anymore, I am seeking something more meaningful)

Then I respectfully suggest you get off of Tinder and onto something that is more geared to serious relationships.

[Seeking_Love]

Noted. I have one step further: I have removed my online profile (Tinder/POF) and intend to go out this the old fashioned way; in the flesh, flashing my pearly whites.

Cheers everyone

- - - Updated - - -

In other news, the reason for the cool down: apparently I matched with one of her friends on Tinder while we were "dating".

Not the smartest thing to do but, at the same time, I owed her nothing. She was (is) not my girlfriend and I am not her boyfriend.

She texted me the riot act blablabla.

[lovebroken]

Not your fault that app matched you with one of her friends, silly for her to blame you, that is a red flag of insecurity on her part.

[smackie9]

Noted. I have one step further: I have removed my online profile (Tinder/POF) and intend to go out this the old fashioned way; in the flesh, flashing my pearly whites.

Cheers everyone

- - - Updated - - -

In other news, the reason for the cool down: apparently I matched with one of her friends on Tinder while we were "dating".

Not the smartest thing to do but, at the same time, I owed her nothing. She was (is) not my girlfriend and I am not her boyfriend.

She texted me the riot act blablabla.

wow you dodged a bullet. Anyways online dating is no different than FB. It's social media and people will stalk you and come to their own conclusions, or just turn into a sycho bitch.

Going out and meeting people in person seems like a better plan.

[Seeking_Love]

Thanks for the advice people. I guess I will stick 'round these parts and offer my thoughts and opinions to other 30-somethings over here seeking love

- - - Updated - - -

Yesterday was my birthday and she did offer to take me out, of course after reading me the riot act and telling me that the Tinder thing really turned her off.

She also mentioned that she likes me as a person but, feels there is no physical chemistry between us (this I do not believe because I felt she lunged at me for the kiss)

I declined, wished her the best of luck and there has been no contact since.

[Wakeup]

^^^ well done, sir. Good to see you're going to stick around and contribute too.

[Seeking_Love]

Well, there is an update here. Hehe.

I bumped into her in the city the other day, first time ever, we got to talking and laughed off the situation and now we are back on. Heh.

[TheEvilJester]

Okay. Well, good luck to you. If you are going to give her another chance, I would just recommend "cautious optimism." Frankly, some of the way she's acted would raise a bit of a red flag for me. I mean, seriously? She was upset because the dating app matched you with one of her friends? I mean, does she think dating apps aren't going to match you with other people? Like she is the only one on the site with whom you could possibly match? Not to mention, it isn't your fault the app happened to think her friend would also make a good match for you.

Could very well be the warning signs of a lot more crazy. LOL! Still, it could just have been something she blew a little out of proportion. We are all guilty of that now and then. So, again, "cautious optimism." I am not really sure I'd personally still pursue her after that, but if you are going to, just proceed carefully. Good luck to you.

[Wakeup]

Sorry to hear that, op. *Leaves wondering how she suddenly found some so called chemistry that was lacking for her the first time.*